Is There a Secret to Finding Intelligent Friends?

[Gale]

So, I've been thinking about it, and I'm getting kinda frustrated that i don't really hang out with like, "smart" people. In high school, i was never socially awkward, i went to lots of parties had lots of friends. By senior year, i was really bored with it though. i went off to college, but still, i haven't really hung out with anyone less boring than the people i knew in high school. I don't necessarily need genius' to talk to, or people who'll only talk about math or science, but it'd definately be nice if i could talk to someone about an upcoming event, and then mention my homework without getting "huh?"

Basically my question is this, If i wanted to find a jock, i'd go to a sports after party, or if i wanted preps, i'd go to like a country club open house or something. I know there are a few clubs here at school... math club, physics, astronomy, but are those really the only way to meet people? Or say i meet someone, I'm not really sure what to say. I mean, normally at parties i'd talk about guitar or music or something, but i get the impression that i won't find the most intelligent people that way. I mean, i have nothing against other sorts of people, just recently, in particular, i'd really like to talk to someone in the flesh who could at least somewhat understand the math i do and things like that. Specifically, single guys, but really, just anyone would be nice.

Any Ideas??

 

[Smurf]

Your looking for beakers eh? It's tough to find people who enjoy talking about the same things you do. I found my crew of philosophers by walking up to random people and try to talk to them. But I have no inhibitions so some people may find that more difficult than I do.

 

[Mattius_]

Next semester take smaller higher level classes in the interests that you like. When the classes are smaller, it is much easier to talk to someone because you already know them through the small class atmosphere. Once you meet one person who has your interests, you usually meet a lot more shortly after.

 

[Gale]

hmm... Don't smart teenage boys just like flock together somewhere... *sigh* I guess its only my first semester of college anyways. Its just weird to go from being sooooo social, and then to talking to almost no one ever. I've been invited to parties, its just, i was thinking, maybe I'm wrong, but that i was doubting too many intelligent people hang out at parties. So i haven't gone to many yet. Hopefully things'll be better next year, but I'm hoping i don't end up with a totally uneventful summer.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I knew a guy who met all sorts of single women at laundromats. He had quite a system and explained how it's the perfect setting to meet single women. So, I suggest that you hang out around the laundromat near the nerd dorms.

 

[Moonbear]

I knew a guy who met all sorts of single women at laundromats. He had quite a system and explained how it's the perfect setting to meet single women. So, I suggest that you hang out around the laundromat near the nerd dorms.

It doesn't really work out the other way around. As far as I can tell, single men just don't do laundry. Back when I used to use the laundromat, I was really surprised that not only was the place usually filled with only women, when a man did come in, it was most often to drop off laundry for their laundry service (you could pay by the pound to have them wash and fold your laundry for you; I couldn't imagine having strangers washing my underwear for me!)

 

[motai]

It doesn't really work out the other way around. As far as I can tell, single men just don't do laundry. Back when I used to use the laundromat, I was really surprised that not only was the place usually filled with only women, when a man did come in, it was most often to drop off laundry for their laundry service (you could pay by the pound to have them wash and fold your laundry for you; I couldn't imagine having strangers washing my underwear for me!)

Uhh... :uhh: I think I am an exception. I don't mind doing laundry.. and there are 7 pictures on my computer of me ironing a shirt.

 

[Moonbear]

Uhh... :uhh: I think I am an exception. I don't mind doing laundry.. and there are 7 pictures on my computer of me ironing a shirt.

Then you'll have no problem finding your pick of women at the laundromat! :tongue: A guy who knows how to do laundry is considered quite attractive. :tongue2:

 

[Danger]

(you could pay by the pound to have them wash and fold your laundry for you; I couldn't imagine having strangers washing my underwear for me!)[/QUOTE]
You wear underwear? Another sexual fantasy blown to hell.

 

[Integral]

Go to the local coffee shop, I assume every campus has one, look at what books are open, find one that looks good and sit down and have a cup'a.

 

[ek]

genius'

Perhaps you're not a genius. A genius would know the plural of genius is "genii".


:tongue:

 

[Danger]

Hi, Gale17;
On a more serious (uncharacteristic) note... the way that I found a surprising number of highly intelligent cohorts was in one of the most unlikely places you could imagine. I was a bartender and security for a cowboy bar for 17 years (a couple of years other places as well). Just being yourself in an environment like that slowly but surely attracts the attention of like-minded people. It's not the same as being a barfly; you're expected to initiate conversations and can't be rudely rejected for it. I realize that you're a minor, but something similar such as working in a juice bar or pool hall or diner could have the same results.

 

[Danger]

PS: Hanging around this looney bin is a definite step in the right direction. At the very least, it looks as is you're conversing with the sort of people that you want to. Who knows? It might turn out that one of them lives near you.
And now back to the normal me... I just checked out your picture and bio again. You're a little old for me, but if chains go along with the leathers, I could make an exception.

 

[Gale]

PS: Hanging around this looney bin is a definite step in the right direction. At the very least, it looks as is you're conversing with the sort of people that you want to. Who knows? It might turn out that one of them lives near you.

You know... i did that... didn't work out well. So I'm probably a bit biased about meeting up with someone from the forum. Although hey, I'm not ruling anything out. Actually, i remember the reason i even came to this forum. I went to Google, and typed in something like "intelligent, witty, magical, fun conversation." and here's what i got. So i guess its worked that much.

I'll probably do like Integral suggested and hit up some coffee shops. So what if i don't like coffee or sweets... heh. Its probably better than hanging at the library, (currently my means of meeting people... funny thing though, there isn't much convo to be had there :tongue2: )

 

[hypatia]

I go to book stores that have coffee shops in them..they even have events on different topics

 

[Moonbear]

I'll probably do like Integral suggested and hit up some coffee shops. So what if i don't like coffee or sweets... heh. Its probably better than hanging at the library, (currently my means of meeting people... funny thing though, there isn't much convo to be had there :tongue2: )

Coffee shops usually sell more than coffee and sweets. You can get tea or hot cocoa, and often they sell some juices too. That's something I really miss where I live now, decent coffee shops. There's one really nice one, but they close at 3, so it's just a breakfast/lunch crowd type of place, no lingering in the evening after work, and the one closer to campus that's open late allows smoking after 6 (I still think that's the weirdest thing, but I guess they found their breakfast/lunch crowd prefers nonsmoking, and the evening crowd wants to sit around smoking...the place never looks that inviting to sit and linger either, a bit dingy). Even the Starbuck's shops are in odd locations, not any place you'd want to sit and hang out with a book, more that they are just convenient for the commuters to run in and grab a coffee to go. There are some downtown, but that's just a hassle. I'd prefer something in walking distance of campus...downtown is really close yet feels pretty far the way the city is laid out.

 

[Evo]

With all of the people that want to meet a "significant other", why aren't there good places just for that? Don't tell me there are bars, bars are great if you're looking for a one night stand, that's about it.

I met some of the greatest, most intelligent guys I know when I used to video conference. But that was back before any idiot that could get online knew about it.

I'm still very close to two of them.

 

[The_Professional]

Bookstores and Trivia party games are excellent places.

 

[KingNothing]

I suggest starting an intriguing experiment involving chemistry or physics (something cool, like ways to cook BBQ ribs) and asking for an assistant. See who replies.

 

[Danger]

With all of the people that want to meet a "significant other", why aren't there good places just for that? Don't tell me there are bars, bars are great if you're looking for a one night stand, that's about it.

I met some of the greatest, most intelligent guys I know when I used to video conference. But that was back before any idiot that could get online knew about it.

I'm still very close to two of them.

Please, oh please tell me that wasn't a vengeful response to my pigishness toward you earlier. (Pardon my pig; he's a friend.) It would sting me bitterly, yet oddly enough not change my ways.

 

[brewnog]

I like to pick up girls on the bus or train. If they think you're a weirdo, the chances are they don't live near you so they don't get too freaked out.

 

[Curious3141]

I suppose you could always join Mensa.

 

[Evo]

Please, oh please tell me that wasn't a vengeful response to my pigishness toward you earlier. (Pardon my pig; he's a friend.) It would sting me bitterly, yet oddly enough not change my ways.

I had completely missed that post. I didn't mean that "you" by any stretch of the imagination would be going to a bar in hopes of finding wanton, meaningless, sex. :tongue:

 

[polyb]

I had completely missed that post. I didn't mean that "you" by any stretch of the imagination would be going to a bar in hopes of finding wanton, meaningless, sex. :tongue:

That 'sounds' great to me! :tongue2: Unfortunately I have never faired well in those environments plus I like to have someone and something to talk about between rounds of pleasure pursuit! Plus there is always the unknown factors that I find to be too risky(std's, psycho women, psycho womens' unkown boyfriends, lack of personility matching, etc.). Well at least the fantasy sounds good! Maybe when I land my next lass we'll role play that one for fun!

As for meeting women, I find that the smart, cute ones are obviously hiding and hiding especially from me! That's how I know they are smart! I have never developed 'strategy' for 'picking up' the fairer sex probably because I would die from laughing at myself. Nor do I have any spots to hunt my prey! I have tried bars: too loud and no capacity for commincation(I think that is the point), the laundry mats I have been to were not full of woman as suggested here, coffee shops were quite often full of the pseudo-intellectual snob types that were immediately turned off by my passion for science and math though the beer at the local place was good , at work I have been too goofy to be considered a serious candidate I guess, and in general I seem to be too intellectual for most women who seem to be intimidated by my intellectual prowess. Though I think that may be a defense/selective mechanism I use to find the ones I am really interested in and explain why I am all alone with no one to love except my cat!

Good luck on your huntings where ever you may find your love! It seems to me that random chance is just as good as anything mentioned here!

 

[GCT]

So, I've been thinking about it, and I'm getting kinda frustrated that i don't really hang out with like, "smart" people.

This is a valid concern. Majoring in the sciences requires a lot of dedication, if at anytime you become a staff or an assistant at your physics dept. I can almost guarantee that you'll be surrounded by groups which you may have deemed in high school as nerds.

Unfortunately, it may be that nerds or "smart" people are more independent, or shall I say, more aloof...emotionally refrained...and perhaps less fun to hang around with.

My advice is that you simply devote more of your time to academic matters, indulge in it yourself and next thing you know you'll be conversing, most likely arguing, with a "smart" person about the difficulties of a particular problem, personalities of professors, physics dept needing more funding, etc Also, note that if you were to start hanging around with people who are more concerned about their academic sucess, how are you going to relate with your "party" friends?

Overall, you'll need to be a bit more independent, if you're serious about studying you might start off by joining some study groups in your class, this will perhaps alleviate some of the loneliness and frustration which comes with studying, and perhaps you'll find it nice to associate with them (although it might not be as fun, or stimulating as current mode of life). Unless you're very skilled academically (genius perhaps) you'll need to more ambitious about college and learning, you might lose your friends. The other option is to opt out of a physics major, go into something less serious, biology (or even a less demanding major) which will require less of your time and less personality alterations.

 

[Moonbear]

As for meeting women, I find that the smart, cute ones are obviously hiding and hiding especially from me! That's how I know they are smart!

LOL! I think us women say the same thing regarding the intelligent men. I can walk into any bar and probably get hit on by at least a dozen guys, but they're mostly of the variety that I wonder how they manage to tie their own shoelaces. Once you're done with schooling, it's really hard to meet other intelligent people (they're easier to find when you're in classes together with them). I think it's because they're doing the same things I do...get up, go to work, work long hours, come home, get online for a while, and go to sleep. Intelligent, ambitious people don't spend a lot of time hanging out in bars. And, once you get to a certain age, it's hard to sort out who's single and who isn't since most of my friends are married, so when I go out with them, it's always in groups of couples, so no single guy would know I'm the one in the group who's single to come talk to me, and it doesn't seem very polite to interrupt a group of people to find out if one of them is single, especially when you're uncertain if one of the other people at the table with them is their spouse or partner.

 

[polyb]

LOL! I think us women say the same thing regarding the intelligent men. I can walk into any bar and probably get hit on by at least a dozen guys, but they're mostly of the variety that I wonder how they manage to tie their own shoelaces.

That reminds me a time I went out with some pals to a local bar on a friday evening for happy hour that had free appetizers when you bought your drinks. Well here I am at the bar and there is a cute girl sitting there trying to fend off the group of guys I was with. I could tell she wanted to talk but these other guys were playing schrimage and doing their best to pick her up. It was pathetic! That poor girl, I was interested in haveing some conversation and seeing if maybe there could have been more but those other dumb jerks would not stop. Hey I was only there to have some beer, get some appetizers, and have some good conversation, which was possible there sometimes because it was a stopping point for a lot of the engineers and professors. Meeting women was icing on the cake for me! Of course that night I lost a lot of respect those for dumb jerks who tortured this poor young lass!

Once you're done with schooling, it's really hard to meet other intelligent people (they're easier to find when you're in classes together with them). I think it's because they're doing the same things I do...get up, go to work, work long hours, come home, get online for a while, and go to sleep. Intelligent, ambitious people don't spend a lot of time hanging out in bars.

Well who has the time, right? Besides I am more likely to find interesting conversation with an anonymous stranger that uses a pseudo-name here than I could find at any bar! Of course I don't have Guinnes on tap here so I do venture occassionally!

And, once you get to a certain age, it's hard to sort out who's single and who isn't since most of my friends are married, so when I go out with them, it's always in groups of couples, so no single guy would know I'm the one in the group who's single to come talk to me, and it doesn't seem very polite to interrupt a group of people to find out if one of them is single, especially when you're uncertain if one of the other people at the table with them is their spouse or partner.

That is also inidicative of that lack of any real social venues especially for us nerdy/geek types. Not to mention most social venues are businesses(including churches! ) and that has impedances in terms of finance,sooo...? So goes this modern life in america where socializing is prohibited unless your willing to fork over cash!

One more thing, this quality we call intelligence is pretty rare (<10%) and that is a major incumberance in terms as that being part of a search criteria. I think that makes things even more difficult!

Why? Gawd, WHY?

 

[Danger]

I had completely missed that post. I didn't mean that "you" by any stretch of the imagination would be going to a bar in hopes of finding wanton, meaningless, sex. :tongue:

Perish forbid that the concept would ever occur to me.
Seriously, though (if you can believe that concept)... I really wasn't suggesting that Gale17 hang out in places like that; I was thinking in terms of her maybe getting a part-time job in one. You meet tonnes of people, and are in control of the situation.

 

[Andromeda321]

If your school has Facebook you can do some searching there to see who has common interests to yours at your school. I know a lot of people who have done this and it's usually resulted in finding the friend of the friend so it's not excessively stalkerish.
As for meeting people with the same interests in yours, I've always found that just meeting a lot of people then whittling down the pack works pretty well. Every once in awhile a group of friends and I spontaneously wander around the freshman dorms asking people if they want to go to [insert resteraunt here], and we end up getting a lot of people who say yes. By the end of the evening we'll have met about fifteen new people or so, and there's usually one in the group who you have a lot of common interests with.

 

[JasonRox]

Go out to parties. Do you really think there is no smart people out there? Come on.

Do you really want a boring person who sits at a coffee shop all day? Believe me, I wouldn't hit up a coffee shop for a smart person, maybe a smart ass, but not a smart person.

I met my extremely smart girlfriend at a dance club. It's rare that I would bump into a smart person at a club, actually it happened only once. I was just happy we talked a bit, and she called me the next day. It's awesome now.

Don't change to a lifestyle for a someone you want, that might not exist. I'd rather have a smart/attractive/funny girl that shares a similar lifestyle.

 

[Moonbear]

I meant to mention that sooner, so I'm glad Jason brought it up and reminded me. If you're at college, go to the college parties! Afterall, they're all students too, and some of them will be smart students. You might not get much intelligent conversation out of people while at the party, depending on how much they are drinking, but keep an open mind about them. You don't have to be serious all the time to be smart.

 

[Danger]

You don't have to be serious all the time to be smart.

The why don't you ever lighten up? Sheeshh... you're so intensely dignified all the time.

 

[Moonbear]

The why don't you ever lighten up? Sheeshh... you're so intensely dignified all the time.

Yep, that's me, always intensely dignified.

Pbbbbbbbbttttttttt! :tongue:

 

[Danger]

Pbbbbbbbbttttttttt! :tongue:

Isn't there supposed to be an 's' in there?