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Intimate Boyfriend(s)

  1. Jun 11, 2003 #1
    Is it ok to have >1 intimate boyfriends at the same time ?
  2. jcsd
  3. Jun 11, 2003 #2
    i suppose that would depend on how the felt about it. (not that you should openly ask them, because that'll likely piss them off and you lose you one or both)
  4. Jun 11, 2003 #3
    I think that in most societies, the mainstream says that this is a "No-no", although I can see nothing inherently ethically wrong with it. But, it can lead to trouble, as Maximus pointed out. Many people get jealous and assume that a relationship is a one-on-one relationship.

    If all people involved don't mind, then I can see nothing wrong with it.
  5. Jun 12, 2003 #4
    You got to know more guys and girls in order to get the right one as your spouse.
  6. Jun 12, 2003 #5
    All things are relative. There are no absolutes.

    Although people hate to admit it, there is nothing natural about the concepts of sin or wrong-doing. These are human-made inventions designed for the purpose of controlling the masses. Therefore, nothing is inherently wrong.

    As in mathematics, something which is is said to be wrong can only be defined once we have established a system of rules (in this ethics).

    So yes, by the laws of the natural universe, it is okay for you to have >1 boyfriends at a time. That is to say there are no natural rules for which we would find conflict with such behavior. However, according to the norms of many societies, it is considered wrong. Sometimes we, as individuals, will find it difficult to be part of a larger entity and not abide by its rules.

    Ultimately, the decision is yours, but be aware of the consequences.

  7. Jun 12, 2003 #6
    I will repeat what others have already said: It is ok so long as you are honest with all parties involved. Moving on...

    Sure, but two question are now begged: Is having sexual relations with multiple would-be-spouses at the same time a good way to find the right one? If one is having two intimate relationships at the same time, are those relationships truely intimate? I would say no to both questions. If the goal is a lasting, exclusive romantic relationship, simultaneously experimenting with possible ones is irrational. So, to truely answer your question, yes, it is wrong because your methods contradict your goals.

    Off topic:
    There are no laws of the natural universe. An unmediated world cannot do as a reference for absolutes - even physics has its ethics, it has too. I would deny the whole fact/value dichotomy as well... Morality can be just as absolute as physics (granted, physics is far less holistic than morality - it is easier to stay on the same page, have ways to differentiate true and false statements in physics than in morality, but I would go as far as to say, with Rorty, that the statement slavery is wrong is just as absolute as Newton's theory of gravity is true).
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 12, 2003
  8. Jun 12, 2003 #7
    Shouldn't this then be there are very few absolutes?

    These are human inventions designed to make living in a civilization or society, where interaction with others is often necessary, as harmonious as possible.

    Many people find the concept of sin as developed to control and make our lives more limited, but if we look at the rules set forward, we can see that following those guidelines should give us a better life.

    For instance, if the relationship Saint is asking about is sexual, she should be open with each of the partners, as they should be open with her, or else there is potential for serious health risks. Let's say one is lying and telling the other that they are the only one, but they are sleeping around indescriminately, the risk of getting a deadly disease is greatly increased. It moves each of these people into a high risk group. Let's look at the sins that are involved with this situation:

    1. Lying. If the person told the others they could be careful and protect themselves.

    2. Fornication. No sex, no chance of passing the disease (assuming it's a sexually transmitted disease).

    Like I said, the concept of sin is to make our lives better not worse.
  9. Jun 12, 2003 #8


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    Only if everyone is aware of the situation and is in agreement with it. But even then I would not recommend it. Too dangerous (STDs), too much chaos (even 1-on-1 relationships are never simple), and too little respect for the whole intimacy thing (will set a negative trend for your life).
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