Is it ok to be a social recluse?

  • Thread starter MathJakob
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  • #51
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How do you get over rejection ? Make a joke of it. I used to say , with firmness and authority "I can handle rejection" then bury my face in the crook of my arm and wail out an exaggerated "Arrghh ah-boo hoo hoo".
Ha! That was funny.
How do you get over rejection, fear of painful experiences and so on? I often avoid meeting new people because I'm scared of rejection and due to more complicated reasons, I can never truly be myself around others.
My 2 cents: With training. Get rejected over and over and over and over... ad infinitum. Just like you gain physical resistance by training, you will gain rejection resistance by training. The six pack will eventually form itself. :wink:

The problem is dealing with the stress the initial rejections may create. If one gives meaning to "rejection", then one is going to feel the blow of it, but if one dismiss its meaning, nothing should happen. I think that should work.
 
  • #52
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Ha! That was funny.

My 2 cents: With training. Get rejected over and over and over and over... ad infinitum. Just like you gain physical resistance by training, you will gain rejection resistance by training. The six pack will eventually form itself. :wink:

The problem is dealing with the stress the initial rejections may create. If one gives meaning to "rejection", then one is going to feel the blow of it, but if one dismiss its meaning, nothing should happen. I think that should work.
Ahahaha I like the analogy. By similar analogy, I might argue that if I continually cut myself in a specific spot, initially it might hurt, but I'll develop tougher skin. Unfortunately, this might leave me scarred! Some people have thicker skin than others, but some might bleed profusely. I definitely think there's some truth to what you're saying though. Change in environment generally leads to adaptation, that's our nature. If I force myself to continually expose myself to other people, eventually it will become natural to me.
 
  • #53
jim hardy
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Like about a week ago I was doing a presentation on a biology lab report for part of my comprehensive examination for my D.E.C (CEGEP thing), and I was totally able to talk in front of the class and answer questions. I just presented my results naturally
Well i'd wager there were several young ladies in the class who noticed.

You will be perceived by others pretty much as you perceive yourself.
So focus on your successes like the good speech, make light of your social mistakes, and always be kind.

Some enchanted evening...
 
  • #54
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Ha! That was funny.

My 2 cents: With training. Get rejected over and over and over and over... ad infinitum. Just like you gain physical resistance by training, you will gain rejection resistance by training. The six pack will eventually form itself. :wink:
There is such a thing as taking an analogy too far. You can also overload and tear a muscle clean off the bone with enough repeated weight training if your form isn't right, and there is not much recovery from that.

You will be perceived by others pretty much as you perceive yourself.
My shrink liked to say most people don't see you the same way you see yourself. They are not aware what your insecurities are, so use that to your advantage.
 
  • #55
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Okay, I know it's hard in social situations, so here is a somewhat crude way look at it. If the people that say their are your friend really are, you have no need to do anything but be you. To those that do not accept you for who you are because you do not live up to their expectations (the crude part) then furk them . Who said that you have to live up to anybody's expectations but your own?

Look up the definition of friend in the dictionary, yeah I know it's a book, but look anyway. It may shed some light on your situation or at least a different view and a better handle on people in general.

As far as The Big Bang goes, you are supposed to see a group of people with limited social skills, anything else is pure conjecture on the viewers part. Anyone here ever see Friends' Joey or Seinfeld's Crammer, or any of the other mindless comedy's buffoons?

Anyone want to take a stab at the label on those two?

Good luck in your endeavors and ignore the rest of the noise.
 

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