Is premerital SEX immoral

  • Thread starter Saint
  • Start date
  • #1
402
0
I'm a chinese, my parents taught me that sex before marriage is immoral.
This is typical oriental thinking passed down to us based on Confucianism.

I don't think all Western people have the opposite view, some religious people in the west are also very strict not to have sex before marriage.

What do you think about this question? :wink:
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
chroot
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
10,226
34
I think each person has a right to make his/her own decision and not be pestered by anyone about it.

- Warren
 
  • #3
Evo
Mentor
23,163
2,862
I agree with chroot, it should be up to the individual.
 
  • #4
374
0
Sex before marriage is necessary. You don't want to marry a girl who sucks in the sack :)
 
  • #5
19
0
Test drive is very important ;)

you could argue either way, at least I could, I feel, effectively.

I'm not going to bother lol.

But here is an article that might point out something in modern mentalities on the subject.

http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/08/18/1092765021674.html

It seems the Chinese are the most keen on sex ( I wonder where the evidence is? :rolleyes: ) but less likely to be promiscuous...
 
  • #6
402
0
You can have Masterbation to satiate your sexual desire before marriage.
And SEX is not Everything for marriage, there are many other factors more essential to foster a happy marriage.

God of Bible forbid SEX before marriage, and one man shall marry only one wife unless she died earlier, then the man can marry again.

Sex before marriage is SIN according to the moral standard of Holy Bible.
This Sin will be judged by God and sentenced to eternal fire unless you repent and never do it again and accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior.

Marry a wife in holy way, and have Holy Sex after wedding will give you more Happiness than being promiscuous.
 
  • #7
BoulderHead
Is premerital SEX immoral?
No, but premarital sex may be, and it is also immortal, lol. :biggrin:

Marry a wife in holy way, and have Holy Sex after wedding will give you more Happiness than being promiscuous.
That’s exactly what I did, but I kept getting caught by my wife! :rofl:
 
  • #8
374
0
Saint said:
You can have Masterbation to satiate your sexual desire before marriage.
And SEX is not Everything for marriage, there are many other factors more essential to foster a happy marriage.

God of Bible forbid SEX before marriage, and one man shall marry only one wife unless she died earlier, then the man can marry again.

Sex before marriage is SIN according to the moral standard of Holy Bible.
This Sin will be judged by God and sentenced to eternal fire unless you repent and never do it again and accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior.

Marry a wife in holy way, and have Holy Sex after wedding will give you more Happiness than being promiscuous.
Wow, what a kind and loving god your worship that would create you as a human which craves sex and then sentence you to eternal fire for fulfilling the desires that the very same god put into you.

There is nothing wrong with premarital sex.

Saint said:
God of Bible forbid...
I just wanted to quote this one part, as it always makes me laugh. The bible tells you that God is true. God tells you the bible is true. Doesn't that seem circular?
 
  • #9
chroot
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
10,226
34
To all participants,

Please resist the temptation to let this thread devolve from a moral question to a religious question, as religious dicussion is not permitted on physicsforums.com.

Saint,

It's a lovely sentiment that you've found happiness in your beliefs, and wish others to be so happy. However, it's quite wrong of you to assert that your value system is the only correct one. Many people -- perhaps most, in some places -- do not care one whit what the bible says. These people are well within their rights to do what they like, whatever risk of eternal damnation you feel they are under. Bedrooms are commonly built with doors for a reason -- learn to stay out of other peoples' bedrooms.

- Warren
 
  • #10
2,425
6
I very much agree with aychamo. I think it is very important NOT to postpone your first experiments to after your wedding. Sex is like anything else : you learn it, you improve at it. Don't start learning at 25, that would be a loss of time. Besides Saint, masturbation is far less good than actual sex.

As for the bible you are quoting. Please be aware that the bible is a very OLD book that had to deal with social issues at the beginning. Society has deeply changed, and the bible is no longer adequate. Religious belief are something, but their should be a very small implication on your everyday life. If your religious believes turn into a dangerous constraint for your physical or mental health, maybe you should question these old rules.

Do you know how late the Pope is as regards to society ? Let me give you an example : Galileo died around the mid 17th cent. (~1650) "Eppur si muove" It takes almost 200 years to the Vatican to cancel forbideness on the books. It takes more than 150 other years for the Pope to admit that, after all, Copernicus and Galileo might not be burning in Hell. How slow is that mind ?

The position of the Vatican on sex is really dangerous for themselves. I would not become a churchman, would it only be because that would imply I could not have wife and children. Saying : "Do not use condoms !" is the worst message the Pope can deliver to African people, who are dying with aids.

I could keep on for a real while, but that is useless. I had only one thing to say to Saint :
I am christian & I have a critical mind. Jesus said : "love each other" Everybody. He never said "Please suffer".
 
  • #11
1,100
0
Although I am only 16 I have views on this.

I, personally, am a christian, as most of you know, I think. Anyway I try to follow the bible if I can so I am waiting until I am marriaged to have sex.

However, I have read many verses and it has become aware to me, mainly because my old Key Skills teacher helped me to think, that sex IS marriage. Marriage is simply to show everyone that you are about to commit to each other. Sex is the actual marriage. It says in Matthew (Sorry to quote Chroot but I feel it is necessary) something like: Once two bodies have become one they shall not be seperated apart from ...... (can't remember off hand).

Anyway the point is that so long as you marry your sexual partner then there should be no problems. What the bible is trying to say is don't have sex with multiple people, which I do see as a bit off in my mind but others will not. Sex is a commitment that you must not brake once entered into.

I know people will not agree with me but I am trying to explain to all my interpretation of the bible, which has been brought up in this thread. The main reason christians don't have sex before marriage is to make sure the other person is ready for this commitment, which is what the marriage is.

As a moral question there really isn't a problem in today's society if both people are alright with a one-night-stand. It is when one of the people don't want to leave it. This is where the envy and jealous start and then the greed. As you can see, society hasn't changed too much in fact. Ok, we don't ride horses everywhere or live in mud houses but the same problems that faced us thosands of years ago still do. So not to be religious here but Proverbs 10:1 - 29:27 is actual a good bases for everyone. It has helped me to get along with people more because I go to do something foolish and not only do I remember 'verse somethings says don't do that because of this' but also all of the 'foolish' verses come into play. I think even non-religious people should read it. It is only because it is in the bible that people see it as religion. It is actually a very good place to find written advice. Try it sometime. You could be amazed.

Thanks for reading. :biggrin:

The Bob (2004 ©)
 
  • #12
Each to their own, pre-marital, post-marital, either way. Life is to short, but how you spend the time you have is up to you. "Live for today,Live for tomorrow, but never live in the past"
 
  • #13
1,490
22
This is actually a difficult question for me. Personally I think it is okay, depending on the participants ages. young people should refrain from sex until they are ready to accept the responsibility for their actions. An accidental pregnancy for a high school kid can ruin their life (or lifes if the guy is willing ot own up to his involvement).

As for the Bible on the subject, the guidelines in the bible are not there to make people miserable, they are there to show us how to live better. For example, sex premaritally gives no assurance to a woman that if a pregnancy should occur she will have help raising the child. After marrage, she is supposed to have a help mate to share the burdon and the joy. Now-a-days this is not the hardship that it was in Biblical times (women were objects and had no way to support themself), but it is still not easy.
 
  • #14
Gokul43201
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,051
18
Saint said:
You can have Masterbation to satiate your sexual desire before marriage.
And SEX is not Everything for marriage, there are many other factors more essential to foster a happy marriage.

God of Bible forbid SEX before marriage, and one man shall marry only one wife unless she died earlier, then the man can marry again.

Sex before marriage is SIN according to the moral standard of Holy Bible.
This Sin will be judged by God and sentenced to eternal fire unless you repent and never do it again and accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior.

Marry a wife in holy way, and have Holy Sex after wedding will give you more Happiness than being promiscuous.
I was going to object to this as preaching...

Your question, quite clearly, hinges on the interpretation of 'immoral'. If you insist on a universal moral standard - that established by the Bible - then there is no room for discussion. Clearly, judging from your cant, this is what you are saying.

Now, I'd like to object to your opening line, based on something I remember reading in Genesis.

Genesis 38:

8 And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy brother's wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy brother.
9 And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it came to pass, when he went in unto his brother's wife, that he spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his brother.
10 And the thing which he did displeased the LORD: wherefore he slew him also.

Sir, you get slain by the Lord, for masturbation !! So, I guess the Old Testament doesn't count then ?
 
  • #15
Monique
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
4,149
64
We're not here to discuss the bible, as chroot mentioned.
 
  • #16
Gokul43201
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,051
18
I'm not discussing the Bible. Only showing evidence for inconsistencies in opening post.
 
  • #17
343
0
Saint said:
What do you think about this question? :wink:
I think that it is poorly phrased and highly loaded, and that you are attempting to preach your morality.
 
  • #18
374
0
The Bob said:
Although I am only 16 I have views on this.

However, I have read many verses and it has become aware to me, mainly because my old Key Skills teacher helped me to think, that sex IS marriage. Marriage is simply to show everyone that you are about to commit to each other. Sex is the actual marriage. It says in Matthew (Sorry to quote Chroot but I feel it is necessary) something like: Once two bodies have become one they shall not be seperated apart from ...... (can't remember off hand).

Anyway the point is that so long as you marry your sexual partner then there should be no problems. What the bible is trying to say is don't have sex with multiple people, which I do see as a bit off in my mind but others will not. Sex is a commitment that you must not brake once entered into.
Sex is not about commitment. To some people, sex may be a sign of commitment, but that isn't true of all people. You write that you have never had sex, so you can't be an authority figure to tell what does and does not come (pardon the pun?) with sex. You can have sex without love, and you can have love without sex.

I feel that Christians and other religious groups tend to ingrain in their children's minds that sex is this huge, magical, wonderful thing that happens between two people and that all this feeling and responsibility comes with it. I think it's a bit of a scare tactic to keep the kids following the religious ideas that the parents are passing down to their kids.

The truth is, sex is not a big deal. The only risks that comes with it are pregnancy and STDs. I've had sex with girls and have had no emotional attacahment what-so-ever, and never given them a second thought. There wasn't a huge amount of commitment or anything that came along with it.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #19
1,490
22
aychamo said:
...The only risks that comes with it are pregnancy and STDs. I've had sex with girls and have had no emotional attacahment what-so-ever, and never given them a second thought. There wasn't a huge amount of commitment or anything that came along with it.
Good thing a child didn't come along with it. Or an STD.
 
  • #20
russ_watters
Mentor
19,945
6,426
Saint said:
And SEX is not Everything for marriage, there are many other factors more essential to foster a happy marriage.
My view is that though sex isn't everything, its still important.

Regarding morality though, if you take your morality from religion, Cristianity generally teaches its bad.
 
  • #21
1,100
0
aychamo said:
Sex is not about commitment. To some people, sex may be a sign of commitment, but that isn't true of all people. You write that you have never had sex, so you can't be an authority figure to tell what does and does not come (pardon the pun?) with sex. You can have sex without love, and you can have love without sex.
I did say that it wasn't the only view but that it was mine. I didn't say that I was right either.

aychamo said:
I feel that Christians and other religious groups tend to ingrain in their children's minds that sex is this huge, magical, wonderful thing that happens between two people and that all this feeling and responsibility comes with it. I think it's a bit of a scare tactic to keep the kids following the religious ideas that the parents are passing down to their kids.
This view is best to start with (in my opinion) but if the child wants it then there is nothing to stop them really. The parents have 'the talk' (which I have never had :tongue2: ) and then it is up to the child.

aychamo said:
The truth is, sex is not a big deal. The only risks that comes with it are pregnancy and STDs. I've had sex with girls and have had no emotional attacahment what-so-ever, and never given them a second thought. There wasn't a huge amount of commitment or anything that came along with it.
I too no longer see it as a big deal, really. I know I have not had sex but the amount you think of when it will happen it just becomes nothing. You over think it and it is no longer a big deal.

I did say that people would not agree. This was simply my view. I am not saying it is right or wrong but what I think.

But as you mention:
I've had sex with girls and have had no emotional attacahment what-so-ever, and never given them a second thought.
I would just like to say that this is where the problem comes if the other person is not willing to just forget it. I assume in your case they did but to say the problems it is best not to do it (or to move contry :wink: ).

I knew people would not agree and I knew that this isn't the only view it is just mine. I do respect everyone elses view and have no problem with it if they are comfortable with it and what they are doing but I simply do not wish to follow. I wish to take things how I want and at my speed.

The Bob (2004 ©)

P.S. The best way to stop pregancy is to not have sex. :tongue2:
 
  • #22
464
0
Wow, what a kind and loving god your worship that would create you as a human which craves sex and then sentence you to eternal fire for fulfilling the desires that the very same god put into you.
What are you talking about? Its not against the Bible to have sex.

I agree with chroot, it should be up to the individual.
I think each person has a right to make his/her own decision and not be pestered by anyone about it.
He isn't argueing that it should be made illegal, good lord. There is a difference when something is banned by society and when its labeled immoral.

Sex before marriage is necessary. You don't want to marry a girl who sucks in the sack :)
Sometimes just being with the person you love is more powerful than the actual at of sex itself. Thats the difference between love and lust.

I just wanted to quote this one part, as it always makes me laugh. The bible tells you that God is true. God tells you the bible is true. Doesn't that seem circular?
Its called faith. If you want to attack religion with the same arguements that have throw at it for thousands of years then by all means go to the religious forums.

I feel that Christians and other religious groups tend to ingrain in their children's minds that sex is this huge, magical, wonderful thing that happens between two people and that all this feeling and responsibility comes with it. I think it's a bit of a scare tactic to keep the kids following the religious ideas that the parents are passing down to their kids.

The truth is, sex is not a big deal. The only risks that comes with it are pregnancy and STDs. I've had sex with girls and have had no emotional attacahment what-so-ever, and never given them a second thought. There wasn't a huge amount of commitment or anything that came along with it.
Oh, heaven forbid! Parents trying to get their kids to take responsiblity! Their not tell there kids that sex is a huge, important event, their telling them that it should be a huge, important event. I like your way of thinking. So when I have a 13 year old daughter that I love, I'll be sure to tell her what you said.

Dude, you're talking like STDs and teen pragnancies aren't a big deal! Just because you got lucky and it didn't happen to you doesn't mean it was a smart thing to do. I have plenty of friends and relatives that thought sex was no big deal and now they're lives are totally screwed.

Also, you didn't give a second thought to it? What about the other person involved? Oh, yeah, thats right no one has ever, in the history of the world, ever, ever had a second thought about sleeping with someone. Yep, everyone is just like you. Completely carefree and immune to all forms of STDs and pregnancies.

One more thing. Lets assume there is an individual that you really do care about, he/she might even be the one. But what if there is someone more attractive than him/her that you just want have a one-night stand with. You really think he/she would approve? Yeah, he/she will definitely buy "its just sex, there isn't any emotional involvement in it."
 
  • #23
343
0
The Bob said:
P.S. The best way to stop pregancy is to not have sex. :tongue2:
This is not true. Not having sex will not stop a pregnancy.
 
  • #24
Gokul43201
Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
7,051
18
Clever, Prometheus ! :smile:
 
  • #25
382
2
If your children ask you the same question, will anyone here reply the same answers ?
 

Related Threads on Is premerital SEX immoral

  • Last Post
5
Replies
117
Views
20K
  • Last Post
2
Replies
27
Views
2K
  • Last Post
Replies
5
Views
2K
  • Last Post
Replies
13
Views
2K
  • Last Post
Replies
1
Views
2K
  • Poll
  • Last Post
3
Replies
50
Views
29K
Replies
185
Views
12K
  • Last Post
Replies
8
Views
3K
  • Poll
  • Last Post
4
Replies
86
Views
14K
  • Poll
  • Last Post
3
Replies
65
Views
9K
Top