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I've felt really lonely as of late

  1. May 27, 2008 #1
    I've felt really lonely as of late. I didn't realize it until now, but I've always gravitated towards the wrong people throughout my life, and it's gotten me nowhere. Just regret and pain. None of the people I know are genuinely my friends. I wouldn't count on them for support when I hit a rough patch and recently it was confirmed when I struggling mentally and psychologically over the fallout of a profound relationship I had with someone. No one that I knew was there nor seemed to care all that much. And romantic relationships have been even worse. I've dated some controlling people, and all I ever do is resist it because they can't accept me for who I am. It's exhausting and I can't take it anymore.

    I'm just sad over my lack of profound relationships. Everyone needs their space, but I have too much of it and I'm not that type of person. I like interaction. I'm brutally honest about things and if I say something different that's from the heart people react like I'm a creep/stalker/serial killer. Whatever has formulated in their head isn't positive. I don't get it. They react that way and then when someone is obviously fluffing their way in they fall head over heels over it. I'll just never be able to grasp that.

    But anyways, I was wondering if anyone else has or has had these feelings before?
     
  2. jcsd
  3. May 27, 2008 #2

    ~christina~

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    I think you need to get a pet.
    They can help you get through tough times like this. :smile:

    When I was younger, I basically didn't have "real" friends, and it only hit me when my supposedly "best friend" said that her "level" in popularity was lower than hers and that she was doing me a favor by hanging out with me, even though I brought her "level" down.

    I was like, what the *********, and I told her that I didn't need her pity, and left it at that.
     
    Last edited: May 27, 2008
  4. May 27, 2008 #3
    Supposedly.
     
  5. May 27, 2008 #4

    ~christina~

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    corrected :shy:
     
  6. May 27, 2008 #5
    yep . After staying in depression for more than one year, I just said I am a robot boy and something aren't meant for me :biggrin: It was horrible!

    I also wanted to have a pet but currently in university so not possible

    In my case, I don't have normal emotions; can't talk about anything other than my work or go out with anyone for fun. Few years ago a girl approached me and forcefully tried to fill some emotions into me and then went away leaving me with some ambitions, good future vision, some awful emotions and forever loneliness lol.
     
  7. May 27, 2008 #6

    Evo

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    Can I ask how old you are LBS?
     
  8. May 27, 2008 #7
    I'm 20.
     
  9. May 27, 2008 #8

    Evo

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    That's a tough age. The girls you have dated are most likely pretty immature, as well as your friends. I wouldn't worry too much about not having had a profound relationship at your age. I'm still waiting. Of course it still hurts when relationships don't work out.

    Just give things time, don't worry about being in a relationship. For me, I'm happier alone and not being in a bad relationship.

    I'll let someone else jump in, because I am not the one to give relationship advice. :redface:
     
  10. May 27, 2008 #9
    It's not even that I'm looking for a relationship. I just want friends I can hang out and talk about stuff with. Anything to ward off the constant loneliness.
     
  11. May 27, 2008 #10

    ~christina~

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    cough*....may I just say I am this certain age?

    not everyone is immature...or am I immature??:uhh:
     
  12. May 27, 2008 #11
    You say that as if it were a bad thing.
     
  13. May 27, 2008 #12
    This is a Physics forum - do any of us have 'normal' emotions? :wink:

    I was one of the most introverted people I've ever seen. I never went out to have a good time, never talked with people, and even pushed my family away. You just have to break out of your shell and 'get out there'. Do you ever go to clubs or gyms or some social environment? I was once told the best ally you'll ever have in the real world is your ability to network; the more connections you have the more opportunities. It sounds so cheesy, but it's true. Every person you don't get to know is just another person you'll never find out if you could've had a profound relationship with.

    I used to come off the same way as you did to people (think Radiohead - Creep), but the more you talk to new people, and socialize, the easier it is. If people think you're weird when you say something brutally honest...then don't say brutally honest things! A successful socialist is a white liar (I once had a date ask me how her new perfume smelled - I wanted to tell her she could knock a buzzard off a **** wagon, but did I? Of course not!).

    Don't sweat women at 20 - I'm firmly convinced women any younger than 24+ don't even know what's going on in their own head!

    Did you *just* get out of a relationshi(t/p)?
     
  14. May 27, 2008 #13

    ~christina~

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    :devil: Oh really....?

    I have a good idea that I would like to whack you with a marlin right about now.
     
  15. May 27, 2008 #14
    I've worked in several work environments before and I was not well received in any of those places. The last one was the worst experience I've had so I just ended up walking out because I did not need to endure another day of it. I persist with the people I know to hang out with me and that it would be fun, but they're always too busy or disinterested.

    It's not that I say nasty things towards them. It's more like I observe them, find something subtle that I like about them and point it out. Apparently this is creepy, but fluffing with meaningless cliches always wins people over.

    Yes, about a couple of months ago. Our communication has disintegrated everyday since then. In the end she just couldn't accept who I was.
     
  16. May 27, 2008 #15
     
  17. May 27, 2008 #16

    lisab

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    :rofl:

    I was pretty mature when I was about 20, but I was also extremely self-centered. I had to be, to get done what I needed to get done (graduate from college). As I got older, I got more compassionate and kinder.

    But I can relate to what you say, LightbulbSun. Making lasting friendships is really problematic for me, too, even now in my mid-40s. It's not that I'm shy - I'm not at all. I've made several good friends in the last 20 years, but every single one of them has moved away :frown: !
     
  18. May 27, 2008 #17
    Most likely, they don't want to hang out with you because you bring them down. Unless you're energetic, fun, and at least make an effort to be sociable, people aren't going to want to hang out with you.

    Don't observe them, or study them, or examine the intricate details of their personality - just have fun! Crack a few jokes, have a good time, and go to more social environments to get to know more people.

    We've all had our hearts stomped on once or twice, and I don't intend at all to undermine how you're probably feeling right now (trust me, I can sympathize), but holding onto her isn't going to do anymore than open old wounds. At the risk of sounding like that man-traitor Dr. Phil, you need to stop contact with her! She's lost interest in you (possibly because you seemed needy, clingy, wimpy, or all depressing and no 'fun' to her), and once it's over - it's over. It sucks, and I bet it feels like you'll never have what you had with her (holy crap that sounded cliche!) again, but once you stop thinking about her and move on, it'll get easier.

    To all those young ladies whom I offended...I meant what I said! :biggrin: *ducks*
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 27, 2008
  19. May 27, 2008 #18

    lisab

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    Watch out, Daniel, I sense a marlin coming your way...!!
     
  20. May 27, 2008 #19

    Math Is Hard

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    You always have us, LBS! We care about you. :smile:
     
  21. May 27, 2008 #20

    Math Is Hard

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    I think it's time for some tough love.

    Come here, Daniel. [​IMG]
     
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