Jedi School Now Accepting Applications

  • Thread starter eNtRopY
  • Start date

eNtRopY

That's right! After, viewing the Star Wars Kid thread, it occured to me that there are actually people out there who would give their left testicle to become a Jedi Knight... or at least have a piece of paper that officially says their a Jedi Knight. So, I'm going to cash in and start the first Jedi College!

As the dean the of this college, I have decided on the following curriculum for the Jedi Knight major:

FIRST YEAR

Fall Semester
Aikido I
Calculus I
Chemistry I
East Asian Foreign Language I -- Choose from Japanese or Mandarin.
Jedi Philosophy

Spring Semester
Aikido II
Calculus II
Chemistry II
East Asian Foreign Language II
Computer Science: Programming

Summer Semster
Aikido III
Computer Science: Data Structures

SECOND YEAR

Fall Semester
Kendo I
Calculus III
Physics I
East Asian Foreign Language III
Psychology: Introduction for Jedis

Spring Semester
Kendo II
Differential Equations & Linear Algebra
Physics II
East Asian Foreign Language IV
Criminology: the Mind of the Sith

Summer Semsester
Kendo III
Electronics for Jedis with Laboratory

THIRD YEAR

Fall Semester
Ninjitsu I
Vector Calculus
Mechanics
European Foreign Language I: Choose from German or French
Political Science and Diplomacy

Spring Semester
Ninjitsu II
Partial Differential Equations
Electrodynamics
European Foreign Language II
Hypnosis for Jedis

Summer Semster
Ninjitsu III
Applied Electrodynamics & Laboratory

FOUTH YEAR

Fall Semester
Ninjitsu IV
Optics
Quantum Mechanics I
European Foreign Language III
Flight Instruction I

Spring Semester
Ninjitsu V
Thermal Physics
Quantum Mechanics II
European Foreign Language IV
Flight Instruction II

Summer Semster
Ninjitsu VI
Solid State Weapons Laboratory

FIFTH & SIXTH YEAR

Intense study of Jedi martial arts and area of specialization. Choose from: Engineering, Physics, Mathematics, Philosophy, or Social Science.

With this degree, one will have the option of entering the workforce, continuting education for doctoral studies, or becoming professional Jedi Knight.

eNtRopY
 
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BoulderHead

would you expand your curriculum to include...

Dark Lord of the Sith wannabies?
 

Zero

You may want to talk to the already-established Jedi cult...
 

eNtRopY

Re: would you expand your curriculum to include...

Originally posted by BoulderHead
Dark Lord of the Sith wannabies?
No way. We only teach people who won't be swayed toward the dark side at my school.

eNtRopY
 

eNtRopY

Originally posted by Zero
You may want to talk to the already-established Jedi cult...
Okay, I checked it out. Those freaks are just a bunch of posers. They actually have formed a Jedi Academy, but it's nothing more than a Sunday school for jerks who won't admit that Christianity without the spice of something else is no fun at all. Seriously, these dumbasses have a website with some of the Jedi sermons that have been taught at their little club. I only mock Sunday school because I wasted so many years as a child attending such bullsh:t. It's funny because I took one semester of Jewish History in college and learned more about the true meaning of the Old Testament than all my years in Sunday school combined.

Anyway, I think that my Jedi Academy will offend many long-time Star Wars fans in the sense that it will require actual work. That's what I love about it. Let's face it... most Star Wars wouldn't have what it takes to become real Jedis.

"What does it take?" you ask. Well, George Lucas modeled the Jedi Knight after the Shaolin monks. Many people think of Shaolin monks as just being Kung Fu experts, but in fact, only a some of them were. Shaolin temples were a precursor to today's universities. When someone became a Shaolin monk, they were dedicating their life to studying. Yes, being a Jedi (like being a Shaolin monk) require a life of discipline and not the pursuit of idle pleasure.

Different areas studied by the Shaolin included: medicine, natural science, philosophy, art, music and of course martial arts. I believe that George Lucas had intended for Jedis to be a similar type of monk-scholar. Different Jedis had different specialties, all seem to have learned a particular core ciriculum. This is what I'm attempting to recreate with my Jedi school.

eNtRopY
 

enigma

Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
1,738
9
What's with all the physics/math classes?

I'm sure they'll need some, but wouldn't classes like droid repair, starfighter piloting, telekenisis 101, mind control 101, light-saber combat 101, electronics jerry-rigging, etc. be more important?
 

Nicool003

I'm agreeing with enigma! hehe you can use the new model of anakins lightsaber that came out in october it is more realistic looking and sounding than previous models!
 

eNtRopY

Originally posted by enigma
What's with all the physics/math classes?

I'm sure they'll need some, but wouldn't classes like droid repair, starfighter piloting, telekenisis 101, mind control 101, light-saber combat 101, electronics jerry-rigging, etc. be more important?
Well, notice I do include hypnosis in the curiculum... and I think that light-saber fighting will be included somewhere in the six years of intense martial art studies. I have included so many physics/math classes because from my own experiences these classes give the best foundation for further study in science, engineering and philosophy. My own opinion of Jedis is that they are a type of philosopher.

Maybe you're right though maybe I should include more electrical engineering and computer science classes classes. I mean after the Jedi Academy was destroyed, Yoda and Obi Wan decided that Luke needed to learn to be more self-reliant than any other Jedi before. As part of his training, Yoda had Luke build his own light sabre. Traditionally, Jedi students could rely on a light sabre craftsman to do this task. Since Luke was the last hope, he had to learn to do everything for himself.

I find this story to be somewhat comparable to the American versus German graduate student situation. When I go to the physics laboratories in Germany, it's strange because graduate students have technicians and laborers at their disposal who do all the dirty work... <sarcastic>heaven forbid a great mind should have to be bored by menial tasks</sarcastic>. In America, graduate students have to do everything by themselves. In addition to doing my regular research, sometimes I find myself machining apparatus, building our physical facility, or setting up our computer network. I think the American way is just part of America philosophy... people shouldn't be afraid of working hard.

Anyway, maybe the last two years of study can be dedicated to specializing in a certain technical aspect such as hacking or mind control.

eNtRopY
 

drag

Science Advisor
1,055
0
Re: Re: would you expand your curriculum to include...

Originally posted by eNtRopY
No way. We only teach people who won't be swayed
toward the dark side at my school.

ANYONE CAN BE SWAYED TOWARDS THE DARK SIDE !!!
Mwhoaaaah ha ha ha !

Entropy, you got a great plan, I'd run to the
patent office instead of wasting my time here,
many really bored people LOVE spending money on
stuff like this ! :wink:

Live long and prosper.
 

BoulderHead

137
1
i've never seen star wars.
 

enigma

Staff Emeritus
Science Advisor
Gold Member
1,738
9
Originally posted by Entropia
i've never seen star wars.
whaaaaa?

Are you broken?

How is it possible that you post on a physics board and you have no geek friends who would have long ago dragged you to see them?
 
137
1
i wont bore you with the details of my particular context.

<giggles>

but.. nope! none of my geek friends ever dragged me out to watch it.
 

drag

Science Advisor
1,055
0
Originally posted by Entropia
i've never seen star wars.
HA ! HA ! HA !
Yeah right(aspecialy in CA)...
It's a logical impossibility... :wink:
 

BoulderHead

Originally posted by drag
HA ! HA ! HA !
Yeah right(aspecialy in CA)...
It's a logical impossibility... :wink:
Teehehe, Even BoulderHead has seen all the star wars movies !

I seem to have missed out the Matrix, however...:frown:
 
137
1
seriously drag, i've never seen any of the star wars movies.

im really out of touch with pop culture.

i've grown too old and uphip to keep up with it now anyway.

i havnt really watched tv or listened to music on the radio since 1997 (i dont own one, for one thing)...
 

drag

Science Advisor
1,055
0
Originally posted by Entropia
i've grown too old and uphip to keep up with it now anyway.
Too old ?! Com'mon ! :smile:
Originally posted by Entropia
i havnt really watched tv or listened to music on
the radio since 1997 (i dont own one, for one thing)...
Yeah, higher education is horrible burden...
What about the 16 years before that ?
I mean this is clearly a basic "hole" in education.

P.S. You can always go rent'em. :wink:

P.P.S. You've never watched Star Trek either ?!
That's totally horrible !

Peace and long life.
 
137
1
drag... where did you get the idea that i was 16 in 1997!?!?!

i am really curious.

and about star trek.. i have only ever seen one episode "the measure of man"


i would love to watch more. but it is tricky for me to actually rent any episodes or buy them considering that i dont have a car to travel to the nearest video rental place (and it is not within reasonable walking distance in 100 F heat, and public transport where i live is a bastard)... plus i dont even have a tv to watch them anyway.

(although my comp does have a dvd thingy)
 
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drag

Science Advisor
1,055
0
Originally posted by Entropia
drag... where did you get the idea that i was 16 in 1997!?!?!

i am really curious.
You said you were 22 once. Is this incorrect ?

NO TV ?!
 
199
0
just as a side note: you know what is really bad? peopel would actualy pay to go to your college and you could just make crap up...ok everyone pool your money lets open that college.
 
15
0
Jedi Academy, Revised Curriculum:

Year One:
- Meditation.
- Manipulation of idiots.
- Arsekicking.
- Advanced meditation.
- Advanced manipulation of idiots.
- Advanced arsekicking.

Year Two:
- See Year One Schedule.

Year Three:
- See Year Two Schedule.

Year Four:
- See Year Three Schedule.

Year Five:
- See Year Four Schedule.

Year Six:
- See Year Five Schedule.

Let's face it, the Jedi didn't have much variety in what they did. The beat the hell out of people, manipulated people, and got all Yoda now and then with the silly sayings, all to maintain the status quo in a government/society which basically didn't work. Have you seen Attack Of The Clones? They hack off some girl's arm in a bar, and tell everyone to mind their own business. A tad Gestapo-like, yes? They are the secret police of a decaying system. They kill, cheat at gambling, steal, lie, and do whatever is necessary to maintain order.
 
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BoulderHead

brilliant observations, Adam

Perhaps the Dark Side is not so bad after all...Goooooood
 
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FZ+

1,550
2
Sith Academy: New Curriculum

Year one:

Looking good in black, basic course
Meditation
Taunting sociology, basic course
Looking good in black, advanced course
Martial arts, basic course

Year two:

Meditation
Dealing with emotional trauma, basic course
Dealing with emotional trauma, advanced course
Republican politics, basic course
Republican politics, advanced course

Year three:

Manipulation studies
Ass kicking, basic
Ass kicking, advanced
Guerilla warfare
Basic physics
Pilot training, basic
Standard metaphysics
Cackling evilly - theory

Year four:

Deep breathing, basic
Deep breathing, advanced
Facial surgery, basic
Megalomania, basic
Advanced physics
Advanced metaphysics
Cackling evilly - practical studies

Year five:

Megalomania, advanced
Hatred studies
Violence studies
Combat flower arranging

Year six:

Anger management
 
given the chioce I'd go with the sith academy....although I'm confused about year 4: deep breathing course
guess the dark side has many temptations....

entropia - really, how come you didn't see the movies. weren't you a bit curious? I went to italian movies out of curiosity....
 

FZ+

1,550
2

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