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Kenny loggins sucks

  1. Dec 24, 2008 #1
    kenny loggins sucks, i just had to get that off my chest. Its been eating at me for quite some time now.

    Stick with me on this: Prove that Kenny Loggins is the root of all evil by showing kenny loggins is closed under sucking and having terrible music-

    u= kenny loggins v= the danger zone, { u and v in RL (real life) }

    u+v= 0 talent ---> where (u+v) in RL , taking (u+v)= footloose

    To Prove that he is closed under sucking:

    [tex]\lim_{MichaelMcdonald\rightarrow 0}\frac{michaelmcdonald}{(u+v)}[/tex] = 0 talent = proven.

    Closed under having terrible music:

    you'll notice that if you integrate kenny loggins between the bounds of Kenny Loggins Greatest Hits and Hell, you'll see that the work done by Kenny Loggins is equivalent to that of a sub par musicians career.

    [tex]\int_{Kenny Loggins Greatest Hits}^{Hell}\frac{Kenny Loggins}{Chris Cornell}dLoggins=\left[ \ x+y\right]_{Kenny Loggins Greatest Hits}^{Hell} = Terrible music[/tex]

    You'll notice that chris cornell was put it the equation to balance the force of loggins sucking, because cornell is that great.

    there you have it folks
  2. jcsd
  3. Dec 24, 2008 #2
    You are fired.
  4. Dec 24, 2008 #3

    Math Is Hard

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    Is Chris Cornell a constant?
  5. Dec 24, 2008 #4
    No actually, he drops out of the equation due to Theorem 987A by something called Chris Cornell cancellation of a singular suck variable due to humanly god like status.
    Chris cant really be a constant because he is changing with respect to decade.

    if you let (Matchbox 20) = (1/Chris Cornell) and make the substitution you'll see what I'm talking about. After doing that you'll see that (Kenny Loggins*Matchbox 20) is a suck identity and equals [x+y] after integration.

  6. Dec 24, 2008 #5


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    OK, maybe it's the egg nog...but I'm having trouble understanding (um, not really...actually, I'm sure it's the egg nog). You're using Chris Cornell as a dummy variable? Why not David Gray?
  7. Dec 24, 2008 #6
    How about Old Blue Eyes?

    I think Kenny Loggins rocked NBA's brain right out of his ear and now he is gibbering crazy nonsense. I've seen it before. Sad really.
  8. Dec 24, 2008 #7
    You bring up a good point lisa, the only problem with using David Gray would be that that would prove something totally different. Chris Cornell> David Gray, so if you plug David Gray into the equation while taking the suck identities into account you would quickly see that it goes to hell because Kenny Loggins dominates the equation.

    The force of Chris Cornell and all of his glory is the only thing left on earth keeping Kenny Loggins in line. There is a major equation behind that statement as well, its called Chris Cornell's law of gravitation...
  9. Dec 24, 2008 #8


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    Kenny's pretty good, actually. Bonus points for scoring Jim Messina as a producer/co-conspirator. I'm currently listening to some "red-neck jazz" courtesy of Danny Gattton. Killer!
  10. Dec 24, 2008 #9


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    BTW, "I'm All Right" is one of the hottest songs that "Caddyshack" could muster.
  11. Dec 24, 2008 #10

    Once again, using old blue eyes would yield a different result. He is in a different category of holly-ness. Surprisingly, if you use him you would see that the result is Tony Danza. Us experts over at S.I.T (Suck Integration Technologies) havent quite figured that one out yet, but we do in fact know that the statement is true.

    You bring up another interesting theory, that Loggins has practically demolished my brain with his amazing songs (such as danger zone). I for one have actually entered the danger zone.

    My visit to the danger zone was actually the basis for all of our studies over at S.I.T. I in fact am not gibbering crazy nonsense, I am stating things that we found to be true through years of research.
  12. Dec 25, 2008 #11

    I respect your opinion turbo so I must make this disclaimer: These laws are based on independent research conducted at S.I.T. These statements havent yet been approved by the F.D.A (Yes, they cover music as well).

    On the bright side, we have a ferret research facility that has proven time and time again that ferrets are one of the best pets due to the electroferretmagnetic effect
  13. Dec 25, 2008 #12


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    Loggins and Messina put out a LOT of wonderful stuff during their time together, including perhaps the best live album to be recorded all-analog. Can't dump on Kenny...sorry
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2014
  14. Dec 25, 2008 #13
    There is a problem with this equation. The statement where u+v = 0 appears in the denominator of the michael mcdonald equation and strictly speaking this means that

    Michael McDonald/(u+v)= 0

    is actually undefined as written. Furthermore the function 1/(u+v) approaches positive infinity as u+v approaches zero. This would imply that Kenny Loggins + danger zone is an infinitely large quantity as the sum approaches zero, or that Kenny Loggins has nearly infinite talent. Q.E.D.
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2008
  15. Dec 25, 2008 #14
    Go back and re-read my equations. (u+v) is not = 0, it is = (0 talent), which is NOT 0. So taking Michael Mcdonald/(u+v) as Michael Mcdonald goes to 0 is equal to (0/0 talent) which is in fact 0. 0 and 0 talent differ because 0 talent = o + t, where t is the talent scale, and 1 is the lowest, so technically, 0 talent = 1 so its technically michael mcdonald/ 1 as M.M goes to 0 = 0 talent...

    [EDIT] You should also note that i said (u+v)=footloose, so footloose=1==(u+v) (none of which are 0). So in no way does this go to infinity...

    And at no point did i have (u+v) going to zero, michael mcdonald went to zero.
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2008
  16. Dec 25, 2008 #15

    My favourite rendition of my favourite Loggins song.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 25, 2014
  17. Dec 25, 2008 #16

    Ivan Seeking

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    Someone didn't get what they wanted for Christmas.
  18. Dec 25, 2008 #17
    Or something they didn't want for Christmas.
  19. Dec 25, 2008 #18

    Ivan Seeking

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    Actually, my guess is that dad was playing a Kenny Loggins CD.
  20. Dec 25, 2008 #19
    Or sisters/mom/cousins were watching Top Gun considering the Danger Zone reference.
    I hate that movie for no other reason than the outrageous number of times I have been made to watch it.
  21. Dec 25, 2008 #20


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    When I was in high school, I jumped the fence and snuck into a Loggins & Messina concert at Blossom Music Center. This was the only concert I ever successfully snuck into, so I'm somewhat favorably biased towards Kenny Loggins.

    None the less, I dutifully listened to a view of the songs on YouTube and I have to agree with the OP. Kenny Loggins sucks.

    What in the world was I thinking?! At least I never paid to see him.

    Heck, the fact that I snuck into his concert might be irrefutable proof that Kenny Loggins sucks. The first LP I ever owned was Bobby Goldsboro.
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