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Kiss my Honey-Baked Butt

  1. Nov 24, 2004 #1
    Kiss my Honey-Baked Butt!!!!

    Well, if you all remember I got a $50 gift certificate to Honey Baked Hams. Today I went down to the HBH store to get myself a little pork. I went inside and asked for the biggest ham I could get for this $50. The lady at the counter said okay, then she went to the computer and a little while later said, "You can pick up your ham on January 5th."
    I said, "Where's the camera? Am I on TV?"
    She said, "What do you mean?"
    I said, "I'd just like to have a ham this year, that's all, just a regular ham."
    She said, "There is a waiting list for our hams."
    I said, "What do you cook them in? Easy-Bake ovens? How about putting a bigger light bulb in there and getting me a ham before my gift certificate expires."
    She said, "Oh, it won't expire. You pay for the ham now."
    I said, "The hell I do. I give you the money, then when I show up to get the ham in a few months and find nothing here but an empty building and about 25 other hungry, confused suckers."
    She said, "Look I'm busy do you want the ham or not."
    I said, "I'll think about it."
    She said, "Thank you for shopping at Honey-Baked Hams, please come again and have a Happy Thanksgiving."
    I didn't say anything I just gave her a dirty look and walked out the door.
     
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  3. Nov 24, 2004 #2

    Moonbear

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    January 5th???!!! There's a waiting list over a month long?! I could understand if you were in there today looking for a ham for Thanksgiving day (because of course everyone has the traditional Thanksgiving HAM), but who ever heard of waiting over a month just to buy a ham? Wouldn't the point be to be able to get it when you need it? Did you ask her if there was anything you COULD buy sooner than next year? I just kind of want to know the answer to that question now.

    Maybe my original idea of donating the gift certificate to charity wasn't so bad, now was it?
     
  4. Nov 24, 2004 #3
    And it's not like I asked for an off the wall item. I didn't say "Could I please have a gallon of your finest pig tails." I asked for a honey baked ham, like the sign on the door says. Call me crazy, but if I go into a store that is named HAMS, I should think I could get a HAM.
     
  5. Nov 24, 2004 #4

    Moonbear

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    What a strange thought that is? Actually selling the product they advertise? What were you thinking?

    You'd think if they have enough demand to have a waiting list over a month that they could afford another oven or two, especially at the prices they charge!
     
  6. Nov 24, 2004 #5
    Maybe the $50 ham you were demanding was too large. Perhaps the have smaller cuts of ham. Say, two for $25? Or are you really adamant about having a ginormous ham? :p
     
  7. Nov 24, 2004 #6

    Moonbear

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    Check, when he mentioned getting the gift certificate, I looked up their website. I think $50 was on the cheap side of what they have! Isn't that horrid? Hams that cost $50 and people are willing to pay that and even be put on a waiting list for it! :bugeye: Glad to know tribdog isn't dumb enough to go along with the crowd on that. :approve:
     
  8. Nov 24, 2004 #7
    I'd imagine that a $50 ham would take a while to get; that's gotta be one mighty fine ham. What kind of ham costs $50 to begin with?
     
  9. Nov 24, 2004 #8

    Evo

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    Actually at Honey Baked Hams, it's tiny. I don't even like Honey Baked Hams, I like smoked ham. As I've always said, REAL MEAT AIN'T SWEET or Meat that's sweet ain't fit to eat. I know, it's corny, but don't mess with my meat. :devil:

    I hate it when someone adds sugar or fruit to meat. :yuck:
     
    Last edited: Nov 24, 2004
  10. Nov 24, 2004 #9

    Gokul43201

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    Cheers to that !! Does it disturb you too, to watch cows eating berries and stuff ? :yuck:
     
  11. Nov 24, 2004 #10

    Evo

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    Cows eats berries? :bugeye: Is that where that strawberry flavored Nesquik comes from? :yuck:
     
  12. Nov 24, 2004 #11

    Moonbear

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    I totally agree! I've never had Honey Baked Ham, but the idea of a sweet ham sounds icky. Ham is supposed to be salty and smoked. A little sugar to some fruits is okay, like when making cranberry sauce, but definitely not to meat! I was at a dinner for the workshop I attended last month and they brought out a cherry pie that I absolutely could not eat...I've never had to pass up pie before! But it was so horribly sweet, I took one bite and just left the rest. :yuck:
     
  13. Nov 25, 2004 #12

    Math Is Hard

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    Jeez! Jan 5th?? Who knows if you'll even be in the mood for ham on Jan 5?
    Maybe you can unload that gift certificate by "re-gifting" it.
     
  14. Nov 25, 2004 #13

    Evo

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    You're my kind of person. :approve:
     
  15. Nov 25, 2004 #14

    Moonbear

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    Hee hee...maybe that's why his boss gave it to him in the first place! Now that everyone knows there's really only one fruitcake that gets passed around from year to year, they had to come up with a new scam, and that's the Honey Baked Ham gift certificate! :rofl:
     
  16. Nov 25, 2004 #15

    Math Is Hard

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    LOL!! I never thought of that :rofl: So there's NO such thing as a Honeybaked Ham -- just the gift certificate! :rofl:
     
  17. Nov 25, 2004 #16
    I just checked out the website. Their hams range from 7lbs to 16lbs. ($68.95 - $127.95). YEESH. Even a pound and a half of nuts costs $36!
     
  18. Nov 25, 2004 #17
    I was powerless to resist the urge to investigate this thread due to its intriguing subject line.

    :bugeye:
     
  19. Nov 25, 2004 #18

    Moonbear

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    Isn't it pathetic? You can't even get their smallest ham with a $50 gift certificate! What's the point?
     
  20. Nov 25, 2004 #19
    I think I'd just buy four of their seasoning shakers or a pie and throw it right back at them. Nah, I'd definitely go with the seasoning. Nothing says "F U!" like the old PEPPER IN THE EAR! Bah! :surprised
     
  21. Nov 25, 2004 #20
    Twas Thanksgiving morning,
    I was still in my bed.
    But I'd better get up
    if I want to get fed.

    I didn't buy a turkey,
    and couldn't get a ham.
    My honey baked certificate
    turned out to be a sham.

    So if I want a dinner
    that's not from Burger King
    I better grab the phone book
    and give someone a ring.

    "Hello, my name is tribdog."
    "What? You're mad at me?"
    "I'm sorry 'bout your daughter."
    "She looked old enough to me."

    That first call went so badly
    so I won't be eating there.
    Calls two through thirty seven
    were just as hard to bear.

    Everyone I talked to
    had something new to say
    for why I'm not invited
    to their Thanksgiving Day.

    I refuse to let rejection
    cast a shadow on my mood.
    I have plenty to be thankful for
    despite a lack of food.

    I'm thankful I don't have to work.
    I'm thankful for PF.
    I'd be a lot more thankful
    if my best friend was a chef.

    Looks like a flame broiled Whopper
    is all the food I'll see.
    Cause the only turkey near this place
    has turned out to be me.
     
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