Lamest joke you know ... :zzz:
My dad was a pistol, that makes me a son of a gun...
A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill."
A man walks into a bar... ouch
-Watch out for the vacuum cleaner!
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?.....
Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it.
The first dirty joke that my parents told me: A white horse fell in the mud.
Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don't work. :rofl:
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender takes one look at it and asks: "So, why the long face?"
:rofl: ...sorry. This joke doesn't qualify to be in this thread as in my opinion it is funny
Oh, I think it's hilarious too...
But the groan-to-laugh ratio is up around 90% when I tell it.
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?
Maaaan! LOL. I'm a sucker for lame jokes! Hurkyl - u deserved a prize 4 urs ;D
I generally dislike that type of humor, but this one is just too good to ignore.
What is green, has 8 legs and will kill you if it falls from a tree??
A snooker table.
When is a car not a car?
When it turns into a driveway! :yuck:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He was stapled to Sid Vicious.
I dated a girl who was a magician. She put her hand on my lap and I turned into a motel!
What is long, brown and runs around the garden??
Why do women wear make up and perfume?
Because they're Ugly and Smelly.
A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender points to a sign behind the bar that says NO STRINGS ALLOWED. Dejectedly, the piece of string leaves the bar... but then he has an idea. He ruffles out his edges a little bit and ties himself into a bow. Then he walks back into the bar, hops up on the barstool, and again orders a beverage. The bartender is deceived by the string's appearance only for a moment.
"hey....what are you doing back in here?" says the bartender. "You're that piece of string aren't you?"
"No Sir!" says the string, "I'm a frayed knot!"
What's black and white and has wheels?
a zebra! and i lied about the wheels
Q: Which car is the biggest car A: The big car
Where will i b @ today? - for those people who want to know - yes u people -
I am going to my exam @ 2.30 but i will go out @ 2. I will afterwards head to the fees department to get the crap sorted out...or i might come straight home. i am stil undecided. my exam lasts 2 hours so it ends @ 4.30 (i think-need to chek this). I might come out earlier than that because I might not b able to do anymore. Hope ur satisfied. i will go via harford street n my exam is in BSM 115.
A man walks into a bar and proclaims;
I’m feeling mean enough tonight to whip a bear!
Following that, a burly giant of a man walks over to him and asks;
and just what kind of a bear would that be?
The first man uses his thumb and forefinger to illustrate his point as he responds;
a liiiiitle bitty bear!
Separate names with a comma.