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Lame Jokes

  1. May 12, 2004 #1
    Lamest joke you know ... :zzz:
     
  2. jcsd
  3. May 12, 2004 #2

    jimmy p

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    My dad was a pistol, that makes me a son of a gun...
     
  4. May 13, 2004 #3
    A duck walks into a pharmacy and says, "Give me some chapstick and put it on my bill."
     
  5. May 13, 2004 #4

    jimmy p

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    A man walks into a bar... ouch
     
  6. May 13, 2004 #5

    arildno

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    Dearly Missed

    -Watch out for the vacuum cleaner!
    -What vacuuuuuuuuuuu.......
     
  7. May 13, 2004 #6
    What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?.....


    ......a stick
     
  8. May 13, 2004 #7
    Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

    Right where you left it.
     
  9. May 13, 2004 #8

    Ivan Seeking

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    The first dirty joke that my parents told me: A white horse fell in the mud.

    Why do cows wear bells? Their horns don't work. :rofl:
     
  10. May 13, 2004 #9

    enigma

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    A horse walks into a bar. The bartender takes one look at it and asks: "So, why the long face?"
     
  11. May 13, 2004 #10
    :rofl: ...sorry. This joke doesn't qualify to be in this thread as in my opinion it is funny :biggrin:
     
  12. May 13, 2004 #11

    enigma

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    Oh, I think it's hilarious too...

    But the groan-to-laugh ratio is up around 90% when I tell it.
     
  13. May 13, 2004 #12

    Hurkyl

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    Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?
     
  14. May 13, 2004 #13
    Maaaan! LOL. I'm a sucker for lame jokes! Hurkyl - u deserved a prize 4 urs ;D
     
  15. May 13, 2004 #14

    Hurkyl

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    I generally dislike that type of humor, but this one is just too good to ignore. :smile:
     
  16. May 13, 2004 #15

    jimmy p

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    What is green, has 8 legs and will kill you if it falls from a tree??

    A snooker table.
     
  17. May 14, 2004 #16
    ...terrible...

    When is a car not a car?

    When it turns into a driveway! :yuck:
     
  18. May 14, 2004 #17
    Why did the chicken cross the road?

    He was stapled to Sid Vicious.
     
  19. May 14, 2004 #18

    Njorl

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    I dated a girl who was a magician. She put her hand on my lap and I turned into a motel!
     
  20. May 14, 2004 #19

    jimmy p

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    What is long, brown and runs around the garden??

    A fence.
     
  21. May 16, 2004 #20
    Why do women wear make up and perfume?








    Because they're Ugly and Smelly.
     
  22. May 16, 2004 #21

    Math Is Hard

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    A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender points to a sign behind the bar that says NO STRINGS ALLOWED. Dejectedly, the piece of string leaves the bar... but then he has an idea. He ruffles out his edges a little bit and ties himself into a bow. Then he walks back into the bar, hops up on the barstool, and again orders a beverage. The bartender is deceived by the string's appearance only for a moment.
    "hey....what are you doing back in here?" says the bartender. "You're that piece of string aren't you?"

    "No Sir!" says the string, "I'm a frayed knot!"

    :rofl:
     
  23. May 16, 2004 #22
    What's black and white and has wheels?

    a zebra! and i lied about the wheels
     
  24. May 26, 2004 #23
    Q: Which car is the biggest car A: The big car
     
  25. May 26, 2004 #24
    Where will i b @ today? - for those people who want to know - yes u people -

    I am going to my exam @ 2.30 but i will go out @ 2. I will afterwards head to the fees department to get the crap sorted out...or i might come straight home. i am stil undecided. my exam lasts 2 hours so it ends @ 4.30 (i think-need to chek this). I might come out earlier than that because I might not b able to do anymore. Hope ur satisfied. i will go via harford street n my exam is in BSM 115.
     
  26. May 26, 2004 #25
    A man walks into a bar and proclaims;
    I’m feeling mean enough tonight to whip a bear!
    Following that, a burly giant of a man walks over to him and asks;
    and just what kind of a bear would that be?
    The first man uses his thumb and forefinger to illustrate his point as he responds;
    a liiiiitle bitty bear!
     
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