Collection of Lame Jokes

  • Thread starter quddusaliquddus
  • Start date
  • Tags
    Jokes
In summary: It's a humor that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness. It's not for everyone.Not a fan of surrealism, I take it?In summary, surrealism is an art form that relies on absurdity and unexpectedness, often producing incongruous imagery or effects. It may not be appreciated by everyone, but for those who do, it can be quite humorous.
  • #4,936
fresh_42 said:
"I store wind energy!"
Long as you're JUST storing it, we don't want/need releases.
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #4,937
upload_2018-10-15_13-12-42.png
 

Attachments

  • upload_2018-10-15_13-12-42.png
    upload_2018-10-15_13-12-42.png
    52.4 KB · Views: 303
  • Like
Likes Bystander
  • #4,938
OMG

43770204_2038546849542158_4058182832688726016_n.jpg
 

Attachments

  • 43770204_2038546849542158_4058182832688726016_n.jpg
    43770204_2038546849542158_4058182832688726016_n.jpg
    44.8 KB · Views: 296
  • #4,939
Could be a dirty parking lot, could be a store policy, could be any number of external factors --- local ordinance, even.
 
  • #4,940
Bystander said:
Could be a dirty parking lot, could be a store policy, could be any number of external factors --- local ordinance, even.
true, but highly unlikely LOL
 
  • #4,941
davenn said:
true, but highly unlikely LOL
This could have happened to me, too. Enter a store to buy something, didn't find it, but bought something else instead. And it's still better than a) leave the cart anywhere or b) handle both separately.
 
  • #4,942
At least he isn't using the hand cart to move the shopping cart. :oldeyes:
 
  • Like
Likes DrClaude
  • #4,943
Borg said:
At least he isn't using the hand cart to move the shopping cart. :oldeyes:
:DD:DD
 
  • #4,944
44100776_10157237070325400_4499949132802162688_n.jpg
 

Attachments

  • 44100776_10157237070325400_4499949132802162688_n.jpg
    44100776_10157237070325400_4499949132802162688_n.jpg
    52 KB · Views: 502
  • Like
Likes DennisN, russ_watters, jtbell and 1 other person
  • #4,945
What do you call a small one-eyed donkey with one leg shorter than the others?

A dinky winky wonky donkey.
 
  • Like
Likes davenn
  • #4,946
Borg said:
At least he isn't using the hand cart to move the shopping cart. :oldeyes:
Or even worse, if he had gone to the store to buy a shopping cart, and put his purchase into one of the store's carts. :oldeyes:
 
  • Like
Likes Borg
  • #4,947
fresh_42 said:
This could have happened to me, too. Enter a store to buy something, didn't find it, but bought something else instead. And it's still better than a) leave the cart anywhere or b) handle both separately.
Yes. If you look carefully, you will see that there is something in the guy's cart where a child can sit.
 
  • #4,948
43878725_1397642810365999_7364044878684094464_n.jpg
 

Attachments

  • 43878725_1397642810365999_7364044878684094464_n.jpg
    43878725_1397642810365999_7364044878684094464_n.jpg
    17.7 KB · Views: 778
  • Like
Likes Pallavi, DennisN, Keith_McClary and 3 others
  • #4,949
42254651_1383915011738779_5411787955511492608_n.jpg
 

Attachments

  • 42254651_1383915011738779_5411787955511492608_n.jpg
    42254651_1383915011738779_5411787955511492608_n.jpg
    24.4 KB · Views: 452
  • Like
Likes Wrichik Basu, Pallavi and Keith_McClary
  • #4,950
davenn said:
Matte finish invisible tape, no less. You might catch a specular reflection off the glossy stuff.
 
  • Like
Likes davenn
  • #4,951
43709455_349564019122850_488345151719079936_n.jpg
 

Attachments

  • 43709455_349564019122850_488345151719079936_n.jpg
    43709455_349564019122850_488345151719079936_n.jpg
    37.5 KB · Views: 462
  • Like
Likes QuantumQuest, WWGD, Keith_McClary and 5 others
  • #4,952
unnamed (1).jpg
 

Attachments

  • unnamed (1).jpg
    unnamed (1).jpg
    46 KB · Views: 481
  • Like
Likes Pallavi, DennisN, WWGD and 7 others
  • #4,953
44560348_2060473067352848_7029187207990607872_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_ht=scontent-syd2-1.jpg
 

Attachments

  • 44560348_2060473067352848_7029187207990607872_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_ht=scontent-syd2-1.jpg
    44560348_2060473067352848_7029187207990607872_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_ht=scontent-syd2-1.jpg
    37.9 KB · Views: 420
  • Like
Likes collinsmark, BillTre and Ibix
  • #4,954
43632692_312960489529361_6823628831958499328_n.jpg?_nc_cat=105&_nc_ht=scontent-syd2-1.jpg
 

Attachments

  • 43632692_312960489529361_6823628831958499328_n.jpg?_nc_cat=105&_nc_ht=scontent-syd2-1.jpg
    43632692_312960489529361_6823628831958499328_n.jpg?_nc_cat=105&_nc_ht=scontent-syd2-1.jpg
    17.9 KB · Views: 398
  • Like
Likes Pallavi, QuantumQuest and DennisN
  • #4,955

Attachments

  • 43681907_2421811291193064_4456060253573742592_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_ht=scontent.fham1-1.jpg
    43681907_2421811291193064_4456060253573742592_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_ht=scontent.fham1-1.jpg
    40.9 KB · Views: 635
  • Like
Likes Pallavi, DennisN, DrClaude and 1 other person
  • #4,956
I had an oven that needed the simultaneous press of three buttons to change the time. Afterwards you had a single rotating knob that was ...well... correlated with time changes (but certainly not linear).
 
  • Like
Likes davenn
  • #4,957
fresh_42 said:
Pretty much my strategy ... although ... adjusting the car clock once saved me a ticket for speeding.

View attachment 233000
https://www.facebook.com/madsciencenw
I seem to recall that Windows 95 would automatically reset the clock for daylight savings time. If you left your computer on overnight it did it at 2am, resetting to 1am. Guess what happened an hour later.
 
  • Like
Likes Keith_McClary, fresh_42 and DrClaude
  • #4,958
44938148_10155923675486588_5375062570631692288_n.jpg?_nc_cat=102&_nc_ht=scontent-syd2-1.jpg
 

Attachments

  • 44938148_10155923675486588_5375062570631692288_n.jpg?_nc_cat=102&_nc_ht=scontent-syd2-1.jpg
    44938148_10155923675486588_5375062570631692288_n.jpg?_nc_cat=102&_nc_ht=scontent-syd2-1.jpg
    40.8 KB · Views: 395
  • Like
Likes Pallavi, Keith_McClary, DennisN and 3 others
  • #4,959
Ibix said:
Guess what happened an hour later.
Nothing special?
I don't find any mention of a problem with DST for Windows 95 - apart from being stuck at the rules of 1995.
 
  • #4,960
mfb said:
Nothing special?
I don't find any mention of a problem with DST for Windows 95 - apart from being stuck at the rules of 1995.
Windows 95 (and 98, I think) prompted you to confirm the time change. From what I recall, it didn't consider the switch made until the confirmation box had been dismissed, which obviously didn't always happen if the system was on at 2am.

I recall discussing this with friends at the time, but I can't find any reference online either. Maybe it was an urban myth.
 
  • #4,961
upload_2018-10-31_12-58-2.png
 

Attachments

  • upload_2018-10-31_12-58-2.png
    upload_2018-10-31_12-58-2.png
    56 KB · Views: 653
  • Like
Likes DrClaude, AlexCaledin, Bystander and 2 others
  • #4,962
Hurkyl said:
Did you hear the one about the cannibal who dumped his girlfriend?
Hey this is funny...at least i find it so.
 
  • Like
Likes DennisN
  • #4,963
What did the vampire say a when he couldn't dye his hair?
"I suck at dying"
 
  • #4,964
  • Like
Likes davenn
  • #4,965
DaveC426913 said:
36+ inches:
Canadians start wearing socks.
In here socks are like tree rings, allowing you to tell how old someone is. Older people wear them above the knees...
 
  • #4,966
hygDDSqWsezB_su7zRuwhCaepFsVTTXQ2XGFke7-p0dijNuMWvAMocGrQ8wCoS4f9VUAgyA9w&_nc_ht=scontent-ams3-1.jpg
 

Attachments

  • hygDDSqWsezB_su7zRuwhCaepFsVTTXQ2XGFke7-p0dijNuMWvAMocGrQ8wCoS4f9VUAgyA9w&_nc_ht=scontent-ams3-1.jpg
    hygDDSqWsezB_su7zRuwhCaepFsVTTXQ2XGFke7-p0dijNuMWvAMocGrQ8wCoS4f9VUAgyA9w&_nc_ht=scontent-ams3-1.jpg
    59.6 KB · Views: 484
  • Like
Likes collinsmark, Lisa!, DennisN and 2 others
  • #4,967
Ibix said:
Windows 95 (and 98, I think) prompted you to confirm the time change. From what I recall, it didn't consider the switch made until the confirmation box had been dismissed, which obviously didn't always happen if the system was on at 2am.

I recall discussing this with friends at the time, but I can't find any reference online either. Maybe it was an urban myth.
I am still using win98 and it's the other way around. First it makes the change and then it asks you if it's correct. You have to confirm the change or change the time manually to whichever time you like, or the OS won't boot.
 
  • #4,968
Those involved in any form of customer service/sales will relate to this ...

upload_2018-11-6_12-24-9.png
 

Attachments

  • upload_2018-11-6_12-24-9.png
    upload_2018-11-6_12-24-9.png
    44.6 KB · Views: 480
  • Like
Likes collinsmark, Lisa!, Pallavi and 3 others
  • #4,969
Why are sheepdogs not very accurate?

They're always rounding things up.
 
  • Like
Likes Lisa!, AlexCaledin, Ibix and 2 others
  • #4,970
ohhh dear ! :rolleyes:

upload_2018-11-8_8-7-24.png
 

Attachments

  • upload_2018-11-8_8-7-24.png
    upload_2018-11-8_8-7-24.png
    97.7 KB · Views: 502
  • Like
Likes Stavros Kiri, DrClaude, strangerep and 3 others

Similar threads

  • General Discussion
12
Replies
394
Views
16K
  • General Discussion
2
Replies
42
Views
2K
Replies
0
Views
516
  • General Discussion
8
Replies
260
Views
21K
  • General Discussion
Replies
7
Views
2K
  • General Discussion
Replies
5
Views
744
  • General Discussion
6
Replies
185
Views
6K
Replies
15
Views
3K
Replies
21
Views
2K
  • Feedback and Announcements
Replies
2
Views
846
Back
Top