Collection of Lame Jokes

[Ibix]

Not even for write.

So you're saying that if you write write right, you don't write write right. But if you write write wrong then you do write write wrong? However, if you write right right you write right right, and if you write right wrong you also write right wrong. Right?

 

[Ibix]

A strange word. The only winning move is not to play write the word.

How about a nice game of Scrabble?

 

[fresh_42]

So you're saying that if you write write right, you don't write write right. But if you write write wrong then you do write write wrong? Right?

Except if ...

How about a nice game of Scrabble?

Not today. Since I have read to abseil a few hours ago I'm totally confused.

 

[Ibix]

Not today. Since I have read to abseil a few hours ago I'm totally confused.

A perfectly good English word, just like to rappel.

 

[fresh_42]

A perfectly good English word, just like to rappel.

I read it in its literal context about a rescued dog, but I wonder whether it's also used as we normally use it in everyday language for "to leave early"?

 

[russ_watters]

I'm not sure if this counts as a joke or not, but here's Abbott and Costello and Covid:

Costello: I just want to know who’s up next for the Phillies.
Abbott: The Blue Jays.
Costello: When?
Abbott: Friday.
Costello: In Toronto?
Abbott: No, the Blue Jays are playing their home games in Buffalo this season.
Costello: So the game is in Buffalo?
Abbott: No, it’s in Philly.
Costello: So the Phillies are the home team?
Abbott: No, they’re the road team.

https://www.inquirer.com/phillies/phillies-covid-19-scheduling-quirks-20200728.html

 

[jtbell]

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Pilgrims.

 

[jack action]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[Keith_McClary]

Found a the bottom of a webpage:

You Might Also Like:
5 reasons why you’re probably procrastinating more right now

I bookmarked it to read later.

 

[Keith_McClary]

Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for July 31, 2020

 

[etotheipi]

 

[fresh_42]

If this is funny to you, I have an advice for life which you should definitely follow:
Do not drink with Russian men or British women!

 

[wrobel]

http://www.tylervigen.com/spurious-correlations

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

To the delight of Gary Larson's dyslexic friends, the back side is far.

 

[Auto-Didact]

A mathematician has spent ten years trying to prove the Riemann hypothesis. Finally, he decides to sell his soul to the devil in exchange for a proof. The devil promises to deliver a proof in four weeks. Half a year later, the devil shows up again - in a rather gloomy mood. "I'm sorry", he says. "I couldn't prove the hypothesis either. But" - and his face lightens up - "I think I found a really interesting lemma..."

 

[Keith_McClary]

Most of these are really lame, but some are funny.
Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for May 13, 2020

 

[WWGD]

 

[Ibix]

 

[jack action]

 

[Keith_McClary]

Most of these are really lame, but some are funny.
Real Life Adventures by Gary Wise and Lance Aldrich for May 13, 2020
View attachment 267229

This underwear company already thought of it.

The fabric is actually like panties.

 

[etotheipi]

 

[Wrichik Basu]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[davenn]

 

[nuuskur]

 

[WWGD]

Never give up:

 

[fresh_42]

Even fish need some alcohol to cope with the 2020 crap.

 

[BillTre]

Here is a funny and very long meme summary of the year, so far. Too long to post; 4 different pictures repeated more than 80 times (each with different text).

 

[davenn]

 

[WWGD]

 

[WWGD]

 

[fresh_42]

Do they have customers to go?