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Lubos Motl Christmas Songs

  1. Dec 24, 2005 #1

    marcus

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    on his blog, he has put these songs to the tune of We Wish You a Merry Christmas-----and also Jingle Bells.
    http://motls.blogspot.com/2005/12/merry-christmas.html
    I have made small emendations, to get the songs so I can imagine singing them.
    To see the originals go to Lubos website, where you can also HEAR him singing them in his beautiful voice.

    the first one mocks the Anthropic way of distinguishing our vacuum (with its correct VEVs, vacuum expectation values) from among the alleged "Landscape" or "Discretuum" of some 10500 inhospitable string theory vacua.
    it is advised that the song be sung by people who take the Landscape seriously and so are feeling sorry for the failed lifeforms in the jillions of other miserable depressing or outright sterile universes.

    One trouble with the jilliions of bad universes is that their Cosmol. Constants CC are TOO BIG so that they expand too fast----they don't allow galaxies to form, or much in the way of stars to condense. This is just one problem, lots of other things can go wrong in these bad universes.

    Here is how Lubos introduces it:
    ---quote---
    Merry Christmas! This special season is also a great opportunity for Matias Zaldarriaga and Nima Arkani-Hamed to sing for all the victims of the anthropic principle who try to live in the bad universes

    WE WISH YOU A TINY CC
    WE WISH YOU A TINY CC
    WE WISH YOU A TINY CC
    SO YOU GET GALAXIES!

    GLAD TIDINGS WE BRING,
    FROM VI-I-LENKIN
    DON'T CRY IF YOUR WORLD SUCKS
    ITS MUCH BETTER HERE

    WE WISH YOU A LUCKY QUARK MASS
    WE WISH YOU A PROPER HIGGS VEV
    WE WISH YOU A PERFECT WEAK SCALE
    AND A HAPPY VACUUUUUMMM.

    You can't live until you get stars
    You can't live until you get stars
    You can't live until you get stars
    So bring them right here.

    GLAD TIDINGS WE BRING,
    FROM FROM VI-I-LENKIN
    DON'T CRY IF YOUR WORLD SUCKS
    ITS MUCH BETTER HERE

    WE WISH YOU A TINY CC
    WE WISH YOU A TINY CC
    WE WISH YOU A TINY CC
    IN A BIG MULTIVERSE!

    ----endquote---

    Here is the Lubos song "Single Vevs" to the tune of Jingle Bells.
    this song expresses wish that a better theory would collapse the Landscape down into a SINGLE SET OF UNIQUELY DETERMINED vacuum expectation values or VEVS. It is a jolly hopeful song. I will print the chorus first, because that is the usual way we remember Jingle Bells.
    I will surpress the "Oh" at the start of the chorus, because it is not required. People who know the song will put it in AD LIB if they wish. I will also surpress Lubos confusing square brackets and make other minor emendations. See Lubos website for the original.

    -----quote, with slight changes------

    Single set of single vevs, single all the way!
    Grab the other vacua and throw them all away.
    Single set of single vevs, single all the way!
    Oh, what fun it is to thrash anthropic beasts of prey.

    Trashing discretuum,
    with a one-choice vacuum.
    Laughing with our boss
    and with David Gross... (( Ha, ha, ha ))
    Vevs are 'bout to ring
    Making spirits bright
    What fun it is to determine
    the one background that's right.

    Single set of single vevs, single all the way!
    Grab the other vacua and throw them all away.
    Single set of single vevs, single all the way!
    Oh, what fun it is to thrash anthropic beasts of prey.

    Landscape now is gone,
    so let's have some fun
    Take Witten along
    And sing predictive song.
    Starting from the state
    Two-forty-eight E-eight,
    Numbers you can calculate
    and crack! You won't be late.

    Single set of single vevs, single all the way!
    Grab the other vacua and throw them all away.
    Single set of single vevs, single all the way!
    Oh, what fun it is to thrash anthropic beasts of prey.

    -----endquote-----

    an example of a beast of prey is a tiger or a panther. I am worried by the image of someone trying to thrash a panther. the panther might object to being thrashed, and make a scene.
     
    Last edited: Dec 24, 2005
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  3. Dec 24, 2005 #2

    selfAdjoint

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    Well but these are anthropic beasts of prey, and being thrashed by the single vevs that Santa if no one else may bring, they will vanish away and fail to make the scene!:tongue:
     
  4. Dec 24, 2005 #3

    marcus

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    It seems to make Lenny Susskind out to be a predator, which might be OK, though in the current circumstance he looks more like a wiley scavenger type to me.

    the issue is what rhymes with way, and has something to do with anthropery, landscapery. Maybe "beasts of prey" is right and maybe it isnt. We could try different things, and see.

    decay

    cliché

    so far I can't think of any improvement

    -----------------------------------------

    [afterthought: what about this?]

    Single set of single vevs, single all the way!
    Dump the other vacua, they're starting to decay.
    Single set of single vevs, single all the way!
    Anthropery is potpourri, so throw the rest away.
     
    Last edited: Dec 25, 2005
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