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## Main Question or Discussion Point

i got some math jokes on my cmoputer. Some are alright, most are terrible. Ill keep adding some periodically. Feel free to post your own.

Whats purple and commutes?

An abelian grape.

(i have no idea what that one means)

Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?

A: Pumpkin Pi!

Teacher: What is 2k + k?

Student: 3000!

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?

A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

Q: Why do mathematicians, after a dinner at a Chinese restaurant, always insist on taking the leftovers home?

A: Because they know the Chinese remainder theorem!

Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"

Student: "It's 42!"

Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"

Same student: "It's 24!"

Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?

A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin...

Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?

A: Möbius Dick...

( i have no idea what this means)

Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can't...

Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four...

It is only two weeks into the term that, in a calculus class, a student raises his hand and asks: "Will we ever need this stuff in real life?"

The professor gently smiles at him and says: "Of course not - if your real life will consist of flipping hamburgers at MacDonald's!"

Q: What does the Ph.D. in math with a job say to the Ph.D. in math without a job?

A: `Paper or plastic?'

Q: What is the first derivative of a cow?

A: Prime Rib!

Q: Why do mathematicians often confuse Christmas and Halloween?

A: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.

(dont get this one)

Whats purple and commutes?

An abelian grape.

(i have no idea what that one means)

Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?

A: Pumpkin Pi!

Teacher: What is 2k + k?

Student: 3000!

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?

A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don't need the sun!

Q: Why do mathematicians, after a dinner at a Chinese restaurant, always insist on taking the leftovers home?

A: Because they know the Chinese remainder theorem!

Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"

Student: "It's 42!"

Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"

Same student: "It's 24!"

Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?

A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work - the philosopher can do without the trash bin...

Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?

A: Möbius Dick...

( i have no idea what this means)

Life is complex: it has both real and imaginary components.

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can't...

Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza?

A: A large pizza can feed a family of four...

It is only two weeks into the term that, in a calculus class, a student raises his hand and asks: "Will we ever need this stuff in real life?"

The professor gently smiles at him and says: "Of course not - if your real life will consist of flipping hamburgers at MacDonald's!"

Q: What does the Ph.D. in math with a job say to the Ph.D. in math without a job?

A: `Paper or plastic?'

Q: What is the first derivative of a cow?

A: Prime Rib!

Q: Why do mathematicians often confuse Christmas and Halloween?

A: Because Oct 31 = Dec 25.

(dont get this one)