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Q:What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey?

A: (Chicken)(turkey) sine theta

Q: What did one photon say to the other photon?

A: I'm sick and tired of your interference.

Q: Why won't Heisenbergs' operators live in the suburbs

A: They don't commute

A bar walks into a man, oops, wrong frame of reference.

Physics professor has been doing an experiment, and has worked out an empirical equation that seems to explain his data. He asks the math professor to look at it. A week later, the math professor says the equation is invalid. By then, the physics professor has used his equation to predict the results of further experiments, and he is getting excellent results, so he asks the math professor to look again. Another week goes by, and they meet once more. The math professor tells the physics professor the equation does work, "But only in the TRIVIAL case where the numbers are real and positive."

Q: What's the difference between an auto mechanic and a quantum mechanic?

A: The quantum mechanic can get the car inside the garage without opening the door.

Zero is walking down the street. He bumps into 8, looks him up and down and then says: HEY, NICE BELT!