MIH goes to the hippy soap shop

  • #1
Math Is Hard
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So I decided to spend a little of my stimulus check to help local merchants. I went down to our local soap vendor. They have beautiful handmade soaps that they create right there in the shop and they smell so nice.

I'm browsing around, and this guy comes in the store looking and sounding like he'd been up for about 3 days straight. Long hair, too tan, rumpled suit, flip flops. He was really loud and making a huge fuss over everything and asking the salesgirl to tell him about this and that. OH, THIS IS SO AMAZING. THIS IS SO MARVELOUS. I HAVE TO TELL ALL MY FRIENDS!

These people at the soap shop are new age types, so she's showing the guy the soaps and telling him to properly select a soap, he had to place a hand over his stomach and sniff a soap, then see if it "resonated" in the chest/heart area, the nasal passages or in.. get this.. "the frontal lobes". (almost lost it right there).

Now I am just minding my business, sniffing the soaps old-school style. You know, just sniffing them. And the weirdo starts in on me saying' "hey, you're doing it wrong - you have to put your hand on your stomach. Go on, put your hand on your stomach." So, I laugh, a little embarrassed. Then the salesgirl starts in, too, insisting I do this airy-fairy sniffing ritual, and finally I'm like, "no thanks, I don't believe in that stuff. I'm a science major."

OHHHMG! It was like SHUN, SHuuuUUuuN, SHUN the non-believer!!! They ganged up on me.

The salesgirl said, "Well, that's too bad because your body is a beautiful vessel..blather blather..and your chakras.. blather blather..." And the guy is harping on me, and I grab my soap and go to the counter to pay for my soap. (I really wanted the soap.) And the guy is going on as loudly as he can about how the soap essences have been scientifically proven to align the chakras, make the cells healthier, etc. It just kept getting more and more absurd as he went on. The salesgirl is agreeing with him and eating it up with a spoon.

The girl behind the counter seemed to feel truly bad for me. She rang me up quickly and politely while the other two yammered on.

How do you guys deal with New Agers? Normally I would just ignore them, but when they want me to do something stupid, it's a bit too much.

(The soap's really good, though.)
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
Ivan Seeking
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The soap is what makes them that way.
 
  • #3
Math Is Hard
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Ooh. Maybe I should not have used the soap. If I start talking about auras and chakras, call 911.
 
  • #4
Ivan Seeking
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My favorite new-ager story came from a woman who claimed that a black panther appeared and slept next to her during the night of her vision quest.
 
  • #5
Math Is Hard
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My favorite new-ager story came from a woman who claimed that a black panther appeared and slept next to her during the night of her vision quest.

Did you nod and smile?
 
  • #6
Cyrus
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You should have balanced your sharkas. Didnt you get my school email?

BTW, I GOT ANOTHER god damn email from the health department adverting the sharkas. I think Ill have to send another email, this time to the deparment heads of every biology department on campus informing them what the health center is promoting.
 
  • #7
Math Is Hard
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You should have balanced your sharkas. Didnt you get my school email?

BTW, I GOT ANOTHER god damn email from the health department adverting the sharkas. I think Ill have to send another email, this time to the deparment heads of every biology department on campus informing them what the health center is promoting.

I think you should. Ask the biologists where the chakras are located while you're at it. :biggrin:
 
  • #8
Kurdt
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On the rare occasion i venture out of the house i often get mistaken for one (unless i wear my bike leathers). I gave up trying to correct misconceptions a while back and tend to just let them yammer on and nod politely until I can run away.
 
  • #9
TheStatutoryApe
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I had a woman tell me that she was never into this sort of thing and never believed it until her friend who owned a new age book shop turned her on to a book by David Icke. I really have to wonder about someone who is swayed by stories of lizard people and luciferians.

Then there was the scary but hot little Nicaraguan girl I went out with. I met her on MySpace and she wanted to go out immediately. All night long she pulled one conspiracy theory and bit of junk science after another out of that cute little bottom of hers. On top of that she either had a very tiny bladder or she was doing lines in the bathroom about every fifteen minutes. And no matter how many holes I poked in what she was telling me she kept liking me more and more. It wasn't worth it. I never saw her again after that first date.
 
  • #10
Astronuc
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So I decided to spend a little of my stimulus check to help local merchants. I went down to our local soap vendor. They have beautiful handmade soaps that they create right there in the shop and they smell so nice.

I'm browsing around, and this guy comes in the store looking and sounding like he'd been up for about 3 days straight. Long hair, too tan, rumpled suit, flip flops. He was really loud and making a huge fuss over everything and asking the salesgirl to tell him about this and that. OH, THIS IS SO AMAZING. THIS IS SO MARVELOUS. I HAVE TO TELL ALL MY FRIENDS!

These people at the soap shop are new age types, so she's showing the guy the soaps and telling him to properly select a soap, he had to place a hand over his stomach and sniff a soap, then see if it "resonated" in the chest/heart area, the nasal passages or in.. get this.. "the frontal lobes". (almost lost it right there).

Now I am just minding my business, sniffing the soaps old-school style. You know, just sniffing them. And the weirdo starts in on me saying' "hey, you're doing it wrong - you have to put your hand on your stomach. Go on, put your hand on your stomach." So, I laugh, a little embarrassed. Then the salesgirl starts in, too, insisting I do this airy-fairy sniffing ritual, and finally I'm like, "no thanks, I don't believe in that stuff. I'm a science major."

OHHHMG! It was like SHUN, SHuuuUUuuN, SHUN the non-believer!!! They ganged up on me.

The salesgirl said, "Well, that's too bad because your body is a beautiful vessel..blather blather..and your chakras.. blather blather..." And the guy is harping on me, and I grab my soap and go to the counter to pay for my soap. (I really wanted the soap.) And the guy is going on as loudly as he can about how the soap essences have been scientifically proven to align the chakras, make the cells healthier, etc. It just kept getting more and more absurd as he went on. The salesgirl is agreeing with him and eating it up with a spoon.

The girl behind the counter seemed to feel truly bad for me. She rang me up quickly and politely while the other two yammered on.
Umm - MIH, you're in LA, right? :biggrin: It could be worse - you could be in SF, or Berkeley. :uhh: :rofl:

How do you guys deal with New Agers?
Avoidance. Or distance - lots of distance.

This is why it is important to carry a bottle of Dark Energy when traveling in the vicinity of New Agers. Just in case.
 
  • #11
Borek
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Poor MIH :frown:
 
  • #12
turbo
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Oh, well, MIH, at least you got some soap. I hope your unbalanced chakras don't cause you any trouble.:rofl:

Last summer, I bumped into a woman from town that I have known for a lot of years, and she mentioned that our garden looked beautiful when she passed by on her way to town. I told her that I was using organic methods and materials, and no pesticides, herbicides, etc. Apparently that was some kind of cue that I was a nut case and she started telling me about "living naturally", including Wiccan beliefs, healing crystals, etc. BTW, many years ago she showed me a "healing crystal" she had bought in a shop because she knew that I faceted gem-stones. It was a piece of quartz with a bit of amethyst color in it. The shop owner had told her that doubly-terminated quartz crystals were very rare and powerful. I looked it over and noticed that her natural "crystal" had been faceted and polished. The material itself was natural, but the form and finish was pure South American sweat-shop labor. What can you do? You can't undo years worth of odd beliefs and misinformation - it's best to just be pleasant and make an escape at a convenient moment. There are LOTS of 60's transplants up here - we called them trust-fund hippies because they seemed to exist with no visible means of support and pretended to be living off the land, meanwhile driving Daddy's hand-me-down Volvo, etc.
 
  • #13
_Mayday_
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I like soap. Shower gel just doesn't feel right.
 
  • #14
Moonbear
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How do you guys deal with New Agers? Normally I would just ignore them, but when they want me to do something stupid, it's a bit too much.

Most of the time I just don't. At the point where they ganged up, I'd have probably given up on politely ignoring them and moved onto rude sarcasm, "Well, I was going to buy this really nice-smelling soap you're selling, but since you're being so rude and ignorant, I think I'm going to go down the street and buy something that's been tested on animals so I know it won't turn my brain into mush like this soap has done to you."
 
  • #15
turbo
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Most of the time I just don't. At the point where they ganged up, I'd have probably given up on politely ignoring them and moved onto rude sarcasm, "Well, I was going to buy this really nice-smelling soap you're selling, but since you're being so rude and ignorant, I think I'm going to go down the street and buy something that's been tested on animals so I know it won't turn my brain into mush like this soap has done to you."
Ooh! Good one!
 
  • #16
turbo
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On the subject of soap, there is an excellent anti-bacterial unscented liquid soap/shampoo initially designed for hunters. It's called Scent Away (from a distributer called Hunter's Specialties) and it's available from sport shops like Cabela's, and seasonally from Wal-Mart and other places. It is so concentrated that you only need a little drop to shampoo and shower, and it sudses up nicely. We mix it 50:50 with water and put it in hand-soap dispensers at the bathroom and kitchen sinks. For those that like to wear fragrances, this is a soap/shampoo that will not clash with your favorite scents.
 
  • #17
lisab
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How do you guys deal with New Agers?

I have a sister-in-law whom I love dearly, but boy oh boy, is she ever out there! She truly belives in fairies, angels, sprites, etc. Usually I nod and smile.

But once she was talking about Atlantis and I had to tell her that there is no evidence that it ever existed. This didn't go over well with her, and I had to drop it. Her beliefs are simply a matter of faith, and it's never good to confront someone on those matters. That explains why New Agers don't like being challenged with such things as "facts" and "data."

Aren't we long overdue for another Age of Reason?
 
  • #18
Kurdt
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Aren't we long overdue for another Age of Reason?

Not until our first world civilization brought to its knees and we've had a few centuries of dark ages again. You could always start writing Lisa. :smile:
 
  • #19
Math Is Hard
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Most of the time I just don't. At the point where they ganged up, I'd have probably given up on politely ignoring them and moved onto rude sarcasm, "Well, I was going to buy this really nice-smelling soap you're selling, but since you're being so rude and ignorant, I think I'm going to go down the street and buy something that's been tested on animals so I know it won't turn my brain into mush like this soap has done to you."

:rofl:

They probably burned smudge sticks after I left to clear out my bad vibes.
 
  • #20
rewebster
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I think you should. Ask the biologists where the chakras are located while you're at it. :biggrin:

Well, I would say, Keep using that soap, MIH----


just from your posts alone, since you said you bought it, I can tell that it has increased the size of your chakras by at least two inches
 
  • #21
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I have a sister-in-law whom I love dearly, but boy oh boy, is she ever out there! She truly belives in fairies, angels, sprites, etc. Usually I nod and smile.

But once she was talking about Atlantis and I had to tell her that there is no evidence that it ever existed. This didn't go over well with her, and I had to drop it. Her beliefs are simply a matter of faith, and it's never good to confront someone on those matters. That explains why New Agers don't like being challenged with such things as "facts" and "data."

Aren't we long overdue for another Age of Reason?

My aunt and uncle are really into the What the Bleep movie. When they found out that I was taking a physics class they wanted to talk to me about all the "quantum physics" they'd been learning. That was really uncomfortable.
 
  • #22
Math Is Hard
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On the subject of soap, there is an excellent anti-bacterial unscented liquid soap/shampoo initially designed for hunters. It's called Scent Away (from a distributer called Hunter's Specialties) and it's available from sport shops like Cabela's, and seasonally from Wal-Mart and other places. It is so concentrated that you only need a little drop to shampoo and shower, and it sudses up nicely. We mix it 50:50 with water and put it in hand-soap dispensers at the bathroom and kitchen sinks. For those that like to wear fragrances, this is a soap/shampoo that will not clash with your favorite scents.

I want to try that. I could make my own shampoo with a custom fragrance. I have a lotion that is scented with ylang ylang and myrhh, and I want to try to copy the blend.
 
  • #23
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Well, I would say, Keep using that soap, MIH----


just from your posts alone, since you said you bought it, I can tell that it has increased the size of your chakras by at least two inches

They looked small before? Now I feel insecure.
 
  • #24
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I had a woman tell me that she was never into this sort of thing and never believed it until her friend who owned a new age book shop turned her on to a book by David Icke. I really have to wonder about someone who is swayed by stories of lizard people and luciferians.

Then there was the scary but hot little Nicaraguan girl I went out with. I met her on MySpace and she wanted to go out immediately. All night long she pulled one conspiracy theory and bit of junk science after another out of that cute little bottom of hers. On top of that she either had a very tiny bladder or she was doing lines in the bathroom about every fifteen minutes. And no matter how many holes I poked in what she was telling me she kept liking me more and more. It wasn't worth it. I never saw her again after that first date.

Did you duck out when she was in the bathroom?
 
  • #25
Math Is Hard
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This is why it is important to carry a bottle of Dark Energy when traveling in the vicinity of New Agers. Just in case.

I hear they hate that stuff. It's like Kryptonite. :approve:
 
Last edited:
  • #26
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On the rare occasion i venture out of the house i often get mistaken for one (unless i wear my bike leathers). I gave up trying to correct misconceptions a while back and tend to just let them yammer on and nod politely until I can run away.

Train your dog to snarl at crystals. :rofl:
 
  • #27
rewebster
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They looked small before? Now I feel insecure.

hmm, small??--NOOOOOO.....well... they're just making an impression on me of some growth
 
  • #28
Astronuc
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Don't go near Sedona AZ. There they will tell you about the Great Vortex. :uhh: :grumpy:
 
  • #29
Kurdt
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Don't go near Sedona AZ. There they will tell you about the Great Vortex. :uhh: :grumpy:

Don't they have vacuum cleaners round there?
 
  • #30
turbo
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I want to try that. I could make my own shampoo with a custom fragrance. I have a lotion that is scented with ylang ylang and myrhh, and I want to try to copy the blend.
That would work. Scent Away could easily be mixed with lemon oil, oil of wintergreen, or whatever natural scents you like to make safe and delicately-scented liquid soaps. You could make a variety and transfer them to small squeeze-bottles. Most ladies don't realize how potent their fragrances really are, once they get into the habit of wearing them, in part because the human olfactory system can "baseline" and ignore strong smells. A delicate scent that can only be detected when you're in their personal space (a foot or two at most) was always a definite attraction when I was single. The father of one of my closest friends used to say when a heavily-scented lady walked by "I wonder what she's trying to hide."
 
  • #31
rewebster
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Don't go near Sedona AZ. There they will tell you about the Great Vortex. :uhh: :grumpy:

I thought that was it Oregroan
 
  • #32
~christina~
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The father of one of my closest friends used to say when a heavily-scented lady walked by "I wonder what she's trying to hide."

It's not only women, there are men out there who think that they smell nice when they put on so much cologne that you can smell them from down the street.
Makes me want to puke.
 
  • #33
...
How do you guys deal with New Agers? Normally I would just ignore them, but when they want me to do something stupid, it's a bit too much.
...

I generally ask them if they want to watch an hour of Fox and then watch an hour of CNN and compare notes.
 
  • #34
Chi Meson
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Don't go near Sedona AZ. There they will tell you about the Great Vortex. :uhh: :grumpy:

Sedona. Great place. Our family spent a few days there. On one day we visited THREE of the famous vortexes. Simply put, a vortex is an awesome view that you can get to after a short, short hike (3 miles or so is a SHORT hike). For most people, this short hike is akin to a pilgrimage, with an awe-inspiring view at the end. The energy they feel is the rush of adrenaline one gets when taking in such scenery.

The typical, puffy, out of shape new-ager assumes it's special. I have found that most folks who hike way into the back countries don't carry such weak-brain notions. Hike for a week in the Rocky Mountains and you'll get at least two vortexes each day. In the Wemenuche wilderness, more like one every half hour.
 
  • #35
Evo
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MIH, if you use the soap without properly following instructions, it could destroy your chakras, flush your aura, blind your third eye, and the Priestess only knows what other terrible thngs.:surprised

<hits MIF over the head with a fish in the traditional PF spirit cleansing ceremony>

fish2.gif
 
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