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Modernising underpants

  1. Jan 15, 2009 #1

    wolram

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    How can such a basic item of clothing be modernised you ask, well i have come up with an idea for sound cancelling underpants, the idea is to use upto date technology to capture sounds and produce an anti sound, and thus no one will have suffer embarrassment in meetings etc.
    The only problem i have, is doing this in real time, this problem arises from the fact that the noise frequency can vary so much, so i will have to spend a lot of time making recordings . It may even be that each pair of underpants has to be tuned to the individual user, which will be a major disadvantage.
    In the pipe line is odour retaining pants, but these are not looking promising, as so far they need to be at least 1/2 thick, and with people wanting to wear eye patches, i can not see how these could be packaged.
     
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  3. Jan 15, 2009 #2

    mgb_phys

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    Do it digitally?
    Have a microphone, a DSP and play the opposite sound through your iPod headphones.
     
  4. Jan 15, 2009 #3

    turbo

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    Complex problem! Some of the sound emanates from the underpants, themselves (think of a flag snapping in the wind), and that has to be dealt with. Instead of active sound-cancellation, perhaps you ought to start working along the lines of acoustic damping, with fabric that resists vibration at the relevant range of frequencies.
     
  5. Jan 15, 2009 #4

    wolram

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    The problem is more complex, a free standing (noise) from one is unmodified, but with people in a sitting position the sound could be modified, ie, the chair could produce harmonics.
     
  6. Jan 15, 2009 #5

    wolram

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    Ah yes ,what frequency does a G string vibrate at?
     
  7. Jan 15, 2009 #6

    mgb_phys

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    You just need sound cancelling headphones tuned to only cancel farts.
     
  8. Jan 15, 2009 #7

    turbo

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  9. Jan 15, 2009 #8

    Ivan Seeking

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    Underwear with a cork would be a lot easier.
     
  10. Jan 15, 2009 #9

    wolram

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    The point of the idea is that others do not perceive the sound, i do not have much of an idea about how much energy is emitted, i guess there could be an OFM difference, like some people just squeak and others blow a trumpet.
     
  11. Jan 15, 2009 #10

    Gokul43201

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    Probably wouldn't work too well if your fart is high pitched. Also, to effectively cancel at all locations, you'll need to attach the speaker to your butt.
     
  12. Jan 15, 2009 #11

    LowlyPion

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    You might want to consider attacking the problem at the source.

    For instance a butt-whistle could limit the frequency range that your noise cancellation apparatus would need to deal with.
     
  13. Jan 15, 2009 #12

    Gokul43201

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    The speaker you use will produce a canceling signal that matches the amplitude of the received signal, so that shouldn't be the concern.
     
  14. Jan 15, 2009 #13

    Gokul43201

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    Ah! A hybrid passive+active system - what fun!
     
  15. Jan 15, 2009 #14

    Ivan Seeking

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    I think conservation of energy prevents the noise from cancelling everywhere.
     
  16. Jan 15, 2009 #15

    mgb_phys

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    Whats the fun in that!
    It's only fair to give any surrounding victims a warning before the smell hits them - in fact in version 2 of my system there would be an siren and a flashing light.
     
  17. Jan 15, 2009 #16

    wolram

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    Okay, i think a reed like sensor would be the best, it would depend on accurate possitioning,
    and real time electronics, butt i am sure it could be done.
     
  18. Jan 15, 2009 #17

    turbo

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    Pitch is probably proportional to how tightly the butt-cheeks are held together and inversely proportional to the mass of the cheeks. For shapely ladies that favor tight pants, a "soprano" version of the underpants might be necessary. Marketing 101 - know your target customers.
     
  19. Jan 15, 2009 #18

    wolram

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    Doe's the mass of the surrounding medium make a difference? i guess it will but would have thought it would have a dampening effect.
     
  20. Jan 15, 2009 #19

    Gokul43201

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    By "everywhere", I meant most everywhere within earshot of the fart.

    As for the odor, there's always activated charcoal inserts.

    Here's a picture (just in case lisa's reading this thread - she loves pictures like this :wink:)

    [​IMG]
     
  21. Jan 15, 2009 #20

    Gokul43201

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    There. Fixed it for you! :biggrin:
     
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