My cat's an annoying sack of fat

[JamesU]

To start off, my cat weighs 17 pounds. Every night, she tries to open my door and ends up hitting herself against the door. After she does this multiple times, she rolls around on the floor and makes her name tag jingle When she is able to get in my room, she politely jumps on top of my keyboard when I'm trying to post Then she jumps to the upper shelf and steps on my printer (which isn't working, I winder why :uhh: ) Then she climbs onto my DVD player for a nap


AAAHHHH!

 

[JamesU]

K, I've got new stories.

She keeps trying to get on my desk(she hasn't learned from me tossing her so many times, I deserve a shotput medal) now she thinks she is being sneaky by getting on my nightstand first, and then jumping from there to the desk.

I plan to break the shotput world record

 

[Math Is Hard]

for some strange reason she likes you.

 

[JamesU]

She's rolling on her back right now. I'm getting my arm ready!

 

[Huckleberry]

One of my relatives had a toothless cat. Something was wrong with it and it would sneeze all over everything. It especially liked to do this when it was right in my face. It would walk all over everything I was trying to do. It seemed to make a point of getting in the way when I was trying to read or use the computer. It also had a nasty temper and sharp claws. Whenever I would attempt to pet it without it's permission it would scratch me and try to bite me.

I prefer dogs.

 

[dextercioby]

I have three cats at home and with my girlfriend 4...Aren't they lovely though...?:tongue2:

Daniel.

 

[Moonbear]

One of my relatives had a toothless cat. Something was wrong with it and it would sneeze all over everything.

Must be allergic to people.

I prefer dogs.

Me too! Though, Danger is still trying to convince me to keep the kittens under my deck (yep, despite my hopes, they haven't been moved and were making noises on Monday to let me know they still live there). Why do cats always have to sit on the one book or piece of paper you're trying to read, or your keyboard when you're trying to type?

 

[Moonbear]

I have three cats at home and with my girlfriend 4...Aren't they lovely though...?:tongue2:

Daniel.

Your girlfriend is a cat? :tongue2:

 

[1123581321]

my cat is fun to play with, its like messing with death. if you hit its belly, you get clawed and chewed on. i still think its funny, and who cares about pain, pain is weakness leaving the body.

Fibonacci

 

[dextercioby]

Your girlfriend is a cat? :tongue2:

Yeah,i call'er "my sweet,delicious cat"...

Daniel.

 

[Huckleberry]

Me too! Though, Danger is still trying to convince me to keep the kittens under my deck (yep, despite my hopes, they haven't been moved and were making noises on Monday to let me know they still live there). Why do cats always have to sit on the one book or piece of paper you're trying to read, or your keyboard when you're trying to type?

Cats are crafty creatures. They know when they can get your attention and when they can't. If they know that they can get your attention then there's no point in going out of their way to do it. If they think they can't get your attention then they get upset. This results in the cats always choosing the worst moment to demand attention. Kind of reminds me of a girlfriend I almost had once. :grumpy:

 

[Moonbear]

Kind of reminds me of a girlfriend I almost had once. :grumpy:

Sounds like a close call!

 

[Huckleberry]

Sounds like a close call!

True, but I'm not perfect by a long shot either. She might have been the one that wanted out.

 

[chroot]

Ugh. I hate cats.

- Warren

 

[JamesU]

I think mine counts as 2, maybe 3. I have tossed her about 4 feet so far

 

[SOS2008]

I think mine counts as 2, maybe 3. I have tossed her about 4 feet so far

A photo just surfaced:


http://img289.echo.cx/img289/6956/fatcat16dw.jpg

 

[JamesU]

That's only a few pounds from my cat

 

[Huckleberry]

That poor cat. What did they do to it? That's bordering on animal abuse.

 

[SOS2008]

That's only a few pounds from my cat

A strict Burger King diet perhaps?

 

[JamesU]

My cat eats diet food that costs $30 a bag. She's lost about 5 pounds.

 

[Mk]

My cat's an annoying sack of fat

Yeah well, so am I.

 

[JamesU]

I agree

 

[Mk]

Booo! I'm going to stuff your cat into your face when I come over there...

 

[JamesU]

my cat can't fit "into" anything

 

[Math Is Hard]

my cat can't fit "into" anything

does your cat occupy an infinite amount of space then?

 

[Mk]

does your cat occupy an infinite amount of space then?

my cat can't fit "into" anything

I'm sure we can cut it up and compress it to its Schwartzchild radius, then stuff it into your face.

 

[JamesU]

In our world, she occupies a space of about 1 cubic foot. I think that she's fat in the fourth dimension though.

 

[Danger]

A photo just surfaced:


http://img289.echo.cx/img289/6956/fatcat16dw.jpg

That's not a cat; it's a planet with fur.

I'd gladly trade beds with it, though.



If you really want to keep a cat off of a surface such as a desk or kitchen counter, just sprinkle cayenne powder around. They can't stand it, and it's fine enough that it doesn't make the place look dirty. I don't know if it would mess up a keyboard or not, but mine is full of ashes and beer, and still works fine. To keep them from chewing on something (Lucy was determined to eat all of my computer cables), you can buy a green-apple liquid to spray on it. It was intended to put on plants, but works on anything chewable.

 

[JamesU]

Oh, god! she's collapsing into a black hole!

 

[Mk]

cayanne powder

Wouldn't that make you sneeze if inhaled?

 

[SOS2008]

That's not a cat; it's a planet with fur.

:rofl:

If you really want to keep a cat off of a surface such as a desk or kitchen counter, just sprinkle cayenne powder around. They can't stand it, and it's fine enough that it doesn't make the place look dirty. I don't know if it would mess up a keyboard or not, but mine is full of ashes and beer, and still works fine. To keep them from chewing on something (Lucy was determined to eat all of my computer cables), you can buy a green-apple liquid to spray on it. It was intended to put on plants, but works on anything chewable.

I also tried sprinkling cayenne in front of my home to prevent dogs "dooing" their business there--it didn't work. You're not wasting precious green apple martini ingredients are you? :grumpy: No, the sisterhood is not coming over to nibble your cords!

I was told to puree jalapeno to apply on my lawn/plants to keep the rabbits from eating everything, but it didn't work. It just pissed them off, and they ravaged everything even worse. I started referring to them as rabids.

I used to keep a spray bottle of water handy, set of fine stream, and could squirt my cat at pretty far distances. It was great for training him to stay of kitchen counters, etc. He would jump in shock and then run for protection from the horrible alien attack.

 

[Danger]

Wouldn't that make you sneeze if inhaled?

You're not supposed to snort it; just spread it around. Although I suppose that snorting it and then sneezing on the cat might have the same effect.

I also tried sprinkling cayenne in front of my home to prevent dogs "dooing" their business there--it didn't work.

I don't know about outdoors or dogs, but it sure kept my previous cat off of things when nothing else worked (including a water pistol).

You're not wasting precious green apple martini ingredients are you? :grumpy:

If you put this stuff in a martini, you have more problems than animals in your yard.

No, the sisterhood is not coming over to nibble your cords!

Rats!

 

[Moonbear]

I also tried sprinkling cayenne in front of my home to prevent dogs "dooing" their business there--it didn't work. You're not wasting precious green apple martini ingredients are you? :grumpy:

I really don't think any of that stuff works. That bitter apple stuff is sold for keeping horses from sucking on fences as well, but they seem to think it tastes just fine. When I used to work with deer, for a bit of extra funding, we did some consulting for a company trying to develop deer repellents (stuff to spray on your plants to keep the deer from eating them). So, we got a bunch of plants and would put them out in the deer pens and sprayed whatever they sent us onto the plants. :yuck: It was good human repellent, but the deer seemed to consider it a very tasty seasoning. Some of the most vile smelling concoctions seemed to result in the deer eating the plants even faster than the untreated ones!

Though, I hope you realize that squirting your cats with water isn't going to keep them off the counters...it only keeps them off the counters when you're standing there holding the squirt gun! :rofl: My step sister thought she had trained her cat to stay off the counters using that method, until I was cat-sitting for her and informed her that the moment she walked out the door, the cats hopped right up on the kitchen counter. It was pretty funny, but she wasn't very happy about it. They stayed off the counter if I had the squirt gun on the table next to me, but if I wasn't within reach of it, the little brats were right up there again. :rofl:

 

[SOS2008]

I really don't think any of that stuff works. That bitter apple stuff is sold for keeping horses from sucking on fences as well, but they seem to think it tastes just fine. When I used to work with deer, for a bit of extra funding, we did some consulting for a company trying to develop deer repellents (stuff to spray on your plants to keep the deer from eating them). So, we got a bunch of plants and would put them out in the deer pens and sprayed whatever they sent us onto the plants. :yuck: It was good human repellent, but the deer seemed to consider it a very tasty seasoning. Some of the most vile smelling concoctions seemed to result in the deer eating the plants even faster than the untreated ones!

Though, I hope you realize that squirting your cats with water isn't going to keep them off the counters...it only keeps them off the counters when you're standing there holding the squirt gun! :rofl: My step sister thought she had trained her cat to stay off the counters using that method, until I was cat-sitting for her and informed her that the moment she walked out the door, the cats hopped right up on the kitchen counter. It was pretty funny, but she wasn't very happy about it. They stayed off the counter if I had the squirt gun on the table next to me, but if I wasn't within reach of it, the little brats were right up there again. :rofl:

Between everyone (and even in the night because of shift work) the poor cat had no idea when it was safe, and he didn't seem to know where the water was coming from. But you may be right--if I could have installed a camera I may well have seen him shedding all over everything and smirking to himself.

I had a neighbor once who decided to pour bleach on her lawn as a deterrence to dogs. It killed her tree, and she was heart broken. Too bad people can't just be more responsible about their dogs. :grumpy:

The home with the rattle snakes, scorpions, etc. was on a preserve, so in addition to the jack rabbits, the havalena (which I called havoclenas) would eat even prickly pear cactus, and by the time I had the home for sale, I had to repair the columns of the back patio from cactus wrens trying to peck holes for nests. It was a zoo--literally! Zoobie brush, no!

Now the birds make a mess eating the olives...meh.

 

[Moonbear]

Between everyone (and even in the night because of shift work) the poor cat had no idea when it was safe, and he didn't seem to know where the water was coming from. But you may be right--if I could have installed a camera I may well have seen him shedding all over everything and smirking to himself.

Well, it might actually work better when you have multiple people in the house all enforcing the rules. With my step-sister's cat, she was the only one squirting it, so it didn't associate the countertop with getting squirted as much as it associated her with getting squirted. Her bratty kids weren't really much help when it came to enforcing rules for the cat (then again, her cat was better behaved than her youngest kid...I haven't talked to her in years, I wonder if the youngest has been to jail yet ).

I had a neighbor once who decided to pour bleach on her lawn as a deterrence to dogs. It killed her tree, and she was heart broken. Too bad people can't just be more responsible about their dogs. :grumpy:

Considering the kittens living under my deck (yep, they're still there, and "talking" now), I wonder the same about cat owners! Then again, the bleach idea really wasn't too bright either. :uhh: We don't have any laws about cats around here, but if I saw dogs off-leash regularly, I'd be calling the SPCA to come fetch. We have too many children in the neighborhood to risk strays wandering around.