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My own ideas about the SEGWAY

  1. Nov 29, 2005 #1
    many moons ago the day mister Dean release the segway I made this little renderings, i quess i was trying to make fun of it but also marvel at the incredible amount of technology and possibilities for the future of the already rich and famous.

    I call this the "Berkeley special" a absolutlly autonomous self contain transport sistem, with rain water pick up at the top and the dispossible unit for the "Biodigestor" intake place under the sedentary drivers seat, notice the "use as you go Road map" and the impecable stainless steel construction, on this squematic is kind of dificult to see, but the biodigestor reactor provide heat for your feet in the form of "hang ten" fussy blue slipers...
    hey this way you don't even need to walk to get your slippers...
    http://patineto.smugmug.com/photos/15973-O-1.jpg [Broken]

    The DPT series special....
    at least were I live i see the people from the Department of Parking and Traffic, performing their "Social dutty" on the little and soffocating Cushmann trykes, so i decide to make them a "Roman horseless charriot" so they can perform their duttyes in style.
    oviuslly comes equipe with a Dual sets of wheels to spread the load of the extremlly fit and active metermates, also a middle step is being added so the 12' inch step is cut in half for easy acess, also notice the super wide ''cabboze'' entrance to acomodate all sizes of drivers, other amenityes, self writing ticket machine to deminish carpotunnel sindrom, a really nice roof with the integrated lights, few coffe cup holders among magazine storage and will come custom painted acording to each department regulation
    http://patineto.smugmug.com/photos/15889-O-1.jpg [Broken]

    somehow after i saw the segway for the first time, i was really surprise of the level of "arrogancy" of the machine, but even more surprise that they did not go all the way...
    so i made my own version ''The portable orgasmatron" in honor to the great director Woody allen, this is a Opni directional vehicle, directlly control by brain waves, the control modul will be implanted in the cerebral cortex at the same time the latest lipossuction, nose job or trepanation is perform to save time and money
    http://patineto.smugmug.com/photos/15890-O-1.jpg [Broken]

    this is actually my Favorite...
    the "Nike transporation module" oviuslly run on electric energy, so the person don't need to walk on the treatmill to propulse the vehicle on the way to the gym for exercise, that will be crime don't you think...?
    comes with all the ameniest to make the short trip to the gym as productive as possible like internet capable touch screen to have direct acess to the stock market and all this other very important things oviuslly a TV will come standard as well frontal and rear view camaras so the user don't need to bend his neck (ovislly the use of mirrors is "So last century") but the DVD adaptor will be a "Extra Option" this model show is the MP-3 compatible version, but the MP-4 will come in a few months from now, just remenber they will be totally incompatible with the current model so sadlly you can not upgrade, after all who knows what color is going to be "the New black" in the future plus the marketing departments studies shows that the target audience will not be "Cut death " on last years model anyway..

    other options...Juice maker(show), laptop/running shoes combo bag with maching color logos(also shown), endless dispenser of Towels and headbands..
    oh i you can not live with out your "super moccka triple latte" a hidden compartment is available for secure transportation and concealment of you "bad vices" so nobody else becomes aware of your dark secrets


    Ps: design Changes are subject to be random at times, depending on the availability of cheap labor forces all over the world, specially on the nike machine..
    Last edited by a moderator: May 2, 2017
  2. jcsd
  3. Nov 29, 2005 #2


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    Someone has too much time on his hands. :biggrin:
    Great renderings, by the way.
  4. Nov 29, 2005 #3
    what can i say,,,, i don't drink, smoke or hunt for two legged trophys, besides what else is in life than ussing your brain from time to time... !?!?
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2005
  5. Nov 29, 2005 #4


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    Ah, well then... therein lies the difference. :devil:
  6. Nov 29, 2005 #5


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    Funny spoof, but it ain't engineering...
  7. Nov 29, 2005 #6
    Of course is noT.....
    But somebody needs to come with "Inteligent" concept before somebody else goes drilling holes somewere,,, this Examples as ridiculous as they are just my little efford to remind people to keep focus in what is Really important, when and were ussually the best solution is to NOT Drill holes at All..

    I Believe that is the Problem with many of the people that gets Focus on ONE single task so deeply and they forget a more Holistic and less comparmentalize (folder and "Little Boxes" for everything) is require, since they losee the avility so see other "life reality", points of view and all the sociological and socieconomic aspect that influence a well design product...
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2005
  8. Nov 29, 2005 #7


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    Fantastic drawings! And great imagination! I reminds me a bit of the cartoons that used to be on between the regular cartoons when I was a kid...they showed things like "the home of the future" with gadgets like a "radish burper" to get the burps out, or the car that had separate bubble compartments for the mother-in-law and kids. It was futuristic whimsy really, which is what these drawings seem like to me.
  9. Nov 29, 2005 #8


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    Don't sweat it...your post was just moved out of engineering to a more appropriate place for the topic...that's all Russ' "it ain't engineering" comment meant. I agree that creativity is important, and even out of something that may seem like whimsical drawings, some solid ideas might be inspired...and even if they aren't, you have some fun in the process.

    BTW, welcome to PF. I've been reading through some of your other threads and looking at the things you've really designed and built, and am really enjoying them. (Since you mentioned it in a few of those threads, don't worry about your English...we have many people here who are not native English speakers, and even with the occassional spelling mistake, I have no problem understanding what you're writing, so you're doing just fine).
  10. Nov 29, 2005 #9
    this is the coolest thing I've ever seen! Kudos man! When can I get one of those!?? I totally dig the level of sarcasm, so many layers of funniness. It's missing something though... hmm... Can you make the juice machine remotely controlled with your brain waves too? that would be the best! Or maybe a a segway trailor that can haul your competition class pure bred poodle, complete with air conditioning, heat, a radio and bubble bath? I also want a rangefinder, a telescope, a cannon that shoots radioactive jelly at homeless people, a candy bar dispenser, a mechanical arm operated by brain waves, a retractable roof, an autopilot, an ejection system (with parachute) in case a car is about to run into me, a 360 degree proximity detector system linked to the ejection system, a coffee grinder powered by going downhill (to save energy because I care about the environment), a docking station that will support all sorts of accessories (such as a snow blower, or lawn mower, or rocket launcher), and I want the whole thing painted with photovoltaic paint to power all it's systems, that way I don't have to hassle with plugging it in and letting it charge overnight. You also gotta make a military version!
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2005
  11. Nov 29, 2005 #10
    I guess to me "COncept" is what really makes a object valuable and viable, Maybe because I'm a industrial Designer trying to achive a "Wider view" of the specific needs and requirement before somebody goes making some useless marvel like the Overprice, over build and uver complicated Segway machine.

    actually those drawings Serve only one porpuse , to make people aware that technology is not always the answer,,,come On...!!!!!
    a motorize treadmill to take you to the gym so you can exercice On AnOtHeR Motorize machine as oppose to do something more useful with your body and energy like helping your neibor move the new and fancy sofa to the second floor....

    actually for my master in Ergonomics, i did a viavility study and design ways to make a comercial Gym into a self suffient entittly (with the help of solar panels,Heolic energy, biodigestors and other similar technologies) even if this gym never got build is a statement to the ultra wasteful culture and the times we live in,, I guess i when to way to many sociology classes and over my years of traveling i see to many people suffering for no justifiable reason...

    I really believe Smart Design can harness a incredible energy and that used wiselly can make this world a better place even if is little by little and for sure not making stupid treadmills when people still have feet to walk..

    thanks for the warm welcome...

    so Mister Oso lunar...

    is any place on this forum for APLIED solutions,, as basic or complicated as they maybe, i find kind of Incredible a place with so much pottencial those not a have "Workshop" section were all this super brains colaborate to evolve, share or at least make a Rucckus in the name of progress,,,

    then again I'm totally new here and a reputated spacecadet so maybe the forum was right in my face and i did not see it...

    if Exist,,,,
    Please point me in the right direction, if I does Not, We need to Make one Pronto.
  12. Nov 29, 2005 #11
    man Finally....
    I was getting kind of worry somebody will be making some cad drawings for a preproduction model...

    I'm glad you like it and GET IT,,, keep the ideas coming, i can make them into drawings before you know it..

    you are right but usually the "SUper bussy" people don't have time to think about nemial things like Pedestrians and the right of others. so maybe will be to much to ask,,,how about the use the "Exaust gases" of last night dinner to operate a small turbine...!?!?
    that will be fun and for sure viable, the only problem is maybe the "Tail tube" will be conside a fashion "Fo-ppa" or whatever the fashion victims call it..

    Dude I get right on it.... (Scanner is broken so is going to take a little longer)

    How about we also design (like on american choppers) a "Rap DIvva" strech out "Look at me, I made it" lomousin machine with the "SPinner rims" the GOld grill and everything else...

    I love the idea of the Poddle, is like a Roman Quadriga but backwards,, now the ChArriot Carries the useless and pompous animals on the way to the show.

  13. Nov 29, 2005 #12
    oh man, this is just the beginning of a whole new way of living. Get ready for the future when segways can go 250 mph, and we'll race them at the segway 500, and build buildings on them to make them earthquake proof, and even land on the moon with them! Can you design a "dance dance revolution" segway?

    good point

    Good idea! so many ideas, so little time.

    oh man, that takes the cake. This must be rendered, I think you're on to something. I've seen people wearing shoes with those spinners built into the sides... I was perplexed, and at the same time I wanted to bust out laughing.
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2005
  14. Nov 29, 2005 #13
    actually to make Segways Even more Pathetic, they are becoming Slower and slower, thanks to the complains of all the Wussy wusses that "stand on them" (I don't know how to call it) so every time somebody falls for one reason or another (like laws of gravity will not affect them) the company issues a another Recall and the computer (CPU) gets a Updated program and guess what come out of the shop being even slow and "Safer" than use to be...

    PC as in Political Correct,, is the best damper for technology this days.
    what happends to the days when you fall and when to a hospital (or the arms of your mother) Today everybody goes directlly to thier Lawyer, what is the fun in that....!?!?

    What,,,spinner shoes....!?!?!?
    how about VIdeo screens inside their troats!?

    I got cableTV again not that long ago and i need to admite the cultural content of TV is reaching a new low point,(from two years with out it) in between the Liposuction shows, the breast implants flunked all over the place and the rappers showing "their game" this persue of the "Ultimate" image is going way to far... exept for a few programs on the history channel and public TV stations, is just No substance, just add the lack of libraries, proper teachers, idols and after school programs and this country is going the way of the doddo.

    take for example the "American chopper show" (man i ride real motorcycles a lot, but those things they make are a freaking joke) from time to time you will see them grinding on structural members of the frame and filling the hole with bondo like nothing happend, or a typical case a saw when they make a bunch of "Decorations" for the bike frame ussing 1/2' steel rod (since cromolly tubes are just to dificult to bend) and when they try to lift the frame a comemt scapes like..."OH man this S^^t is heavy" .... Oh really.

    the most incredible part is that people actually pay top dollar for that crap and this Monkeys are call "designers",,,

    man Leonardo must be shaking on his grave...
    Last edited: Nov 30, 2005
  15. Nov 29, 2005 #14


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    But, but, but...there are a lot of people who would actually buy something like that! :biggrin: Just put it on some late-night infomercial and before you know it, there'll be one in the home of every insomniac with a maxed-out credit card! I said the same thing about treadmills...what's the point of a machine that allows you to run for hours and go nowhere? Go out and do something useful. They're still really cool drawings. :approve:
  16. Nov 29, 2005 #15


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    It somewhat depends on what you're discussing. Some of it might fit within engineering (that's where your other threads are residing and are appropriate). If it doesn't fit there, or you can't find another place for it, then that's what this General Discussion area is for (though we also use it for playing around and being silly, we can have serious discussions that don't fit in any of the other forum categories here too). Make your best guess of where to post and if the mentors decide there's a better place for it, we can just move it there.
  17. Nov 30, 2005 #16
    *sob sob sob*... *cry cry*... I want to work out, but.... but.... *sob sob*... *cry*... It's just so diffacult!! *burst out crying*..... I mean... *sob sob*... It takes a lot of... *wipes runny nose*... effort!... hey whats this?! *stops sulking*... Chuck Norris?... *raises volume*.... He says working out as easy as a walk in the park with this new device that looks like a hybrid cuiseart and hydrolyc jack?? ... Wow!!! *ecstatic* For only ten easy payments of 59.95? plus 3 payments of 19.95 shipping and handling?? thats not so bad! I'll put it on a new credit card! Now I don't have to put in the effort of working out, and still get a workout!! This seems too good to be true *pauses for a moment and wonders why being slim is such an important thing to him/her*... *dials number*... *Hello? Yes I'd like the new Chuck Norris approved yada yada yada..... *proceeds to watch tv and unconscoiusly gets opinions molded by the tyranny of the majority of pop culture*...
  18. Nov 30, 2005 #17

    so how i have the feeling I'm going to like it around here...
  19. Nov 30, 2005 #18

    Great renders, I must say.
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