hello, i'm not sure if it's ok to put this up here., i mean it's not related to physics, but I don't know anywhere to post something and get a feedback, except for phyzics forum.. It's just a personal conflict here, and i don't talk with my counselor that much about this kind of problem. My best friend knows that i'm stressed out of these kind of problem because she felt the same way. Anyways to begin,,, I'm an asian who came to America to begin with 8th grade, (But I was born here and lived here until age of 5) and since I forgot most of my English, i am very bad at speaking in English. I usually hangout with asians who speaks Korean like me. I'm not racist for real, but I just feel more comfortable with my friends which they don't speak English that often. But!!! I really love English,,,,, I felt alot during this year that wouldn't it be better to be born as an American, then i could have blend with America culture better speak more fluently, and make more friends. (i hate the fact that i'm friends with only asians, i mean i have other americans as friends too, but they are more considered to be just an aquaintance) I think i'm having depression because i'm taking AP courses first in my life time.. i maintained good grades during 9th &10th grade but this year my grades are suffering. Anyways that not my point but i felt that i don't belong to the community. During english class every students seemed to be so professional and confident, while I rarely speak in that class. I don't have a special friend that I can hangout with. Like group projects..-_- I hate it when I get to chose my own partners in a class that I don't have a particular person that I'm close too. These are what happens in my English and U.S. history class. I sometimes (often these days..)hate the fact that I speak Korean more fluently and not in English. I feel miserable whenever I stumble or mumble in a presentation infront of the class. I was a very confident student in Korea, but these days my self esteem is crawling on the floor. How can I improve my speaking? especially infront of Americans? Can anybody help me????? like give me a tip of speaking infront of people? I envy those people who are good at debate.TT I want to become more american style, feeling more comfortable. I really want to fit in to this environment.. I don't know I'm so lost these days.. I think I really need like a secret anyonymous medidator or counselor..-_- anyways.. if anybody read this whole thing, I thank you so much.