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My teacher told me

  1. Dec 3, 2004 #1
    You can't love humanity and love children. For children are an apish mockery of humanity. - Soph Math Teacher

    Haha, and just for good measure a funny thing this guy in my Freshman math class said.
    Scene: rectangular table seating 15 of us, teacher at the head of the table.
    teacher: Mr. Perring, would you care to demonstrate Proposition 45?
    Mr. Perring: (obviously is incapable of doing so) *smiles sheepishly* It's all Greek to me:rofl:
    (we learn Greek at that school so it was especially appropriate and funny to us dorks)

    Anything memorable your teacher said? Or are you a teacher that tells your students these treasures of wisdom?
    Now, I know most of you are too old to remember that far back, but give it a try :tongue2:
  2. jcsd
  3. Dec 3, 2004 #2
    "Children are a pain in the ass!!!"

    Me-December 2004
  4. Dec 3, 2004 #3
    A little background:

    We wre playing in wind orchestra, and the song called for the french horns to use what is called a "stop mute."

    Conductor: Ok Play it without the mute.
    Horn player plays
    Conductor: That was without the mute? OK, now stop it.

    Conductor stands and waits for the horn player to play with the mute in, looking down at the music, and looks up, obviously momentarily confused by the silence. Everyone else jsut busted up laughing.
  5. Dec 3, 2004 #4
    This is a reference letter for a scholarship my physics teacher wrote me.

    After showing me this one, he then gave me a ‘good’ one. I like this one better though. :tongue2:
    Last edited: Dec 3, 2004
  6. Dec 3, 2004 #5
    And i thought some of my teachers didn'tlike me :bugeye:

    I feel so loved by comparison.
  7. Dec 3, 2004 #6


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    :rofl: It would be funny if he accidently sent the wrong letter.
  8. Dec 3, 2004 #7

    Oh I had a good laugh after reading this, as did he. I've had this letter hanging on my fridge for the last 5 months for all to read. lol :biggrin:
  9. Dec 3, 2004 #8
    Well I didn't get the scholarship anyway, so maybe it would have helped. They might have felt sorry for me. LoL
  10. Dec 3, 2004 #9


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    Some people actually made a list of quote from one of my prof at my old-department. It is quite amusing, at least for the biology type of people.

    Him talking about PCR and making an analogy

    From an pollution class that has several vegan and vegetarian

    I will have to find the list.
  11. Dec 3, 2004 #10


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    I had a Spanish teacher who used to insult us poor laggards in Spanish. It's pretty humiliating to be insulted with a new phrase I would have learned had I done my homework and have half the class laughing at his clever insult while I sat there bewildered.

    And he always seemed to know exactly which one of us it was that hadn't done their homework. Of course, I think it was probably a pretty good bet that one of the four in the same back corner of the class would be the victim of the day. Luckily, at least one of us had probably done the homework so there was usually at least one person who would explain the insult after class. (Us poor laggards have to stick together, you know).
  12. Dec 3, 2004 #11


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    I went to a Catholic high school, and in my freshman health class, they taught us that condoms only prevent pregnancy 30% of the time and never prevent STD's. May not be very funny, but either way.
  13. Dec 3, 2004 #12
    Sigh, I know what you mean.
    My Gr. 9 religion teacher tried teaching us that 'condoms are made of holes'
    I asked how could something be made of holes? He wasn't too impressed.
  14. Dec 3, 2004 #13


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    Most of the class consisted of us being shown disgusting photos of people's genitals horribly disfigured by STD infections. That and of course the requisite videos of fetuses being shredded by abortion machines.
  15. Dec 3, 2004 #14
    shredded fetuses aren't funny and do not belong in this thread :grumpy:
  16. Dec 3, 2004 #15


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    My teacher once told a university I'd applied to that I was "work efficient". They never worked out that he meant "bone idle".

    He also told me that "with bull**** like that, you'll go a long way in life", I've always been proud of that one.
  17. Dec 3, 2004 #16
    I would be too.

    http://meeq.net/nicework/Midee_NiceWork.jpg [Broken]
    Last edited by a moderator: May 1, 2017
  18. Dec 12, 2004 #17
    Archaeology is the study of garbage.
    -archaeology teacher
  19. Dec 13, 2004 #18
    From my economics prof's blog:

    This is for the boys: I'm hetero.
    This is for the girls: If you’re flunking my class, don’t make sly little suggestions about what you might do to earn a passing grade. You’re flunking my class. Why would I think your performance would be better in any other areas? Besides, I'm too old to care.
    When you ask a stupid question in class I will try not to laugh at your question. However, I do reserve the right to tell my friends later and to laugh then. Sorry, but sometimes I just have to. Your name and any identifying information will not be used.
  20. Dec 13, 2004 #19
    Fish are caught by the mouth. People, by their word
    -english prof
  21. Dec 13, 2004 #20
    "So whenever you feel like you're something special, just remember you kids, you're just another pimple on the world's butt." -Mr. Gaworecki, the always negative history teacher.
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