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N>Help on asking a guy out.

  1. Nov 6, 2011 #1
    Hello there,

    I am a 25 y.o. female nurse. I attended a group gathering and noticed a sincerely sweet guy who is almost 30 and an engineer. My question is, how do I ask him out/get to know him better successfully, without coming off as a social path? I doubt I will meet him again, but I can find him via the net. Also, I'm a little worried he's a little too "cool" for a quiet person such as myself. Thanks! Advice appreciated!
  2. jcsd
  3. Nov 6, 2011 #2
    Yea finding him via the net, especially if you think he is "too cool", would be weird. I would just make small talk. Make up an excuse to talk to him.
  4. Nov 6, 2011 #3
    Hmm, I don't think I really have an excuse to talk to him seeing as I barely know him. It seems that 1. my choices are to ask him to hang out and come off creepy or 2. just be safe and not say anything at all. 3. Friend him on facebook and wait for him to develop an interest in me

    I'm guessing I should go with 3?

    Thanks for responding to my plea, are other suggestions on how to approach this?
  5. Nov 6, 2011 #4
    Who cares what's weird and what's not (as far you don't go to extreme) .. just do whatever it takes to hunt him down :tongue2::devil:
  6. Nov 6, 2011 #5
    [1] "I'm a little worried he's a little too "cool" for a quiet person such as myself" lack of confidence = turn-off. You don't think you're good enough for him? Or he's "above" you? Get your thinking straight before proceeding.

    [2] Would have been better to talk to him in person so you get your name and face in his head. This way you don't come of as a "stalker" finding him via net and going I was in that group gathering with you remember...? If there's still a chance to meet up again definite do go and speak

    [3] "How do I ask him out..?" Just be calm. Calmness will prevent you from making "weird" statements. Keep your calm. Have a conversation. Take a chance and ask for contact info: phone number / facebook (I would say phone number) but whatever works for you.
    You have nothing to lose here. He gives it to you fine. He doesn't, cool, move on!

    [Closing] Don't think lowly of yourself and think someone is "above" or "too cool" for you. You're a nurse you're 25. I bet you're really good looking too :biggrin:
  7. Nov 6, 2011 #6
    No, no, and no to all 3! :rofl:

    Look, here:
    You: So what field of engineering are you in?
    Him: X
    You: Oh that's cool. I think engineering is a very interesting field. Considering how rigorous the academic demand is, I hold engineers with high regard. So how many years have you been in the field for?
    (and take it from there) You just need a way to kick-start a convo and keep it going.

    Close out the convo asking for contact info: phone, facebook, etc., whatever works for you. I would say go for phone but whatever works for you though. Keep us updated
  8. Nov 6, 2011 #7
    Nothing ventured, nothing gained. I say just go for it which ever way feels most comfortable to you. Whether that be facebook or stalking him just start up a conversation or ask him out. Us engineers are a strange breed and as a general rule don't we say no when girls ask us out (especially nurses!) and often find stalkers rather flattering.
  9. Nov 7, 2011 #8
    try to find out if you guys have friends in common, then you can find out more about him through the friend and maybe get the friend to set you guys up. Or ask him to dance at the xmas party. Or just smile at him when you next see him and say hi. Or find something broken in your ward and get him to come and fix it...
  10. Nov 18, 2011 #9


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    Why is everything a complicated mess... find out this, then try that, if this happens go this place and meet so-and-so to receive your flagon of courage.

    Just be like "hey, go out?"
  11. Nov 29, 2011 #10
    Be creepy, ask him out. Who knows, maybe he's into creepy girls.
  12. Nov 30, 2011 #11
    I was lurking around the website and stumbled across this. I don't normally care for discussions of relationships but I think you definately need to hear what I have to say because you will only hear this from a guy, and probably only from me. Everyone else will tell you the obvious ie. confidence is attractive, what to talk to him about:

    1) Girls think guys are creepy all the time. Guys will never think a girl is creepy unless a) she is at least years older than him or b) he gets to know her, very well. If a you, as a girl, approach him he will either think that you're slutty, desparate or genuine. I don't like to stereotype but most people (guys or girls) will. Since he's an engineer he's far less likely to do this, but its not impossible.

    2) Most guys don't care what they talk about with girls, as long as they have their attention. This isn't usually conscious, but you will virtually always find that us guys only talk to each other like they would to you if we were drunk.

    3) Whatever hormones you have us guys have it a hundred fold (usually behind much self-discipline). He won't think its strange if you check him out AS LONG AS YOU APPROACH HIM. If you ever suspect for a second that you think he's noticed you, approach him.

    4) It's a well known fact that girls are much more sociable than men, and few guys know exactly how much more. Going up to him and talking is unusual for guys, but he will have no clue if you are trying to be friends (which he will likely think if you are not obvious, but if this happens, he will likely go after you eventually if you spend enough time with him), just being sociable or hitting on him. I don't know most of the time myself, and you can easily exploit this.

    The only way you will come off as wierd is if you start rambling about cucumber or you pull out a knife or something messed up. Good luck.

    One more thing. You said he is almost 30. If he is experienced with women (few engineers are, but the fact that you are interested in him makes him an exception) all of what I've said may not apply if he already knows it. Also, what I've said is only to supplement and is secondary to what everyone else is saying. What is commonly said is done so for a reason. I just felt obliged to give some different, if less relevant advice.
  13. Nov 30, 2011 #12
    All girls are creepy. If you look them in the eyes for a few seconds, you will see that there is something terribly wrong with them.Just like cats and birds. Scary stuff.
  14. Dec 1, 2011 #13
    You met him at a gathering. So is he local? What company does he work for? Find out. Do you have a teen friend, relative, etc. that's interesting in engineering?? And needs career guidance??? So you have an opening to ask him about his job and maybe possible intern positions there, on facebook - be very general - and perhaps suggest a coffee shop because you are a lousy typist??? Get him talking about himself so at least you know if he's married or in a relationship although usually people say on facebook. I don't think he cares how you found out where he worked - again maybe already on facebook. I went over 30 years and never did find out how my SO found my phone number. Didn't care. Sure you face rejections. So think about guys - how many rejections do they get for every date?? Many get a lot but they don't quit trying. Just be funny flirty and real. No crushes or goo goo eyes or drooling even if he is drool worthy.
  15. Jan 19, 2012 #14
    I'd suggest you send him a link to this thread, and wait..
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