Choosing the Safest Email for Your 12 Year Old: Gmail vs. Hotmail

[glondor]

Hey all, My 12 year old son wants an email account. We discussed some basic rules which he agreed to so I told him I would hook him up with gmail. The youngster for some reason balked at gmail and insisted on msn hotmail. I told him I would look at the merits of each and decide. I use gmail and like it fine. My wife uses hotmail and likes it fine. Is there any reason to choose one over the other for a 12 year old? (from a parental standpoint). I prefer gmail because I think it is safer to use from a virus standpoint and spam blocking, However to be fair to him I told him I would find out about hotmail a bit. Any help would be appreciated. I have till tomorrow night if I am to keep my word.

 

[Evo]

I personally dislike gmail and don't use it. I would suggest yahoo mail. Spam free, (g-mail puts the spam in a folder that your son can see, yahoo mail keeps it from appearing, better for a young child) perhaps there is a selection in g-mail to prevent seeing the spam also, I would hope so). Some spam has gotten through on my gmail account and has never gotten through on yahoo.

The overall format of yahoo is more visually appealing, larger text boxes for example.

There is less advertising on yahoo mail.

Yahoo mail is also less confusing to use without the confusing threading that you cannot delete from g-mail.

Also, yahoo is unlimited, unlike g-mail.

 

[glondor]

Thanks Evo. I will throw that one into the mix!

 

[Kurdt]

A 12 year old might want hotmail for easier use with MSN instant messenger (although you can get a .NET passport with any e-mail address these days). Just highlighting that in case that was an issue you hadn't thought of.

 

[scorpa]

I have a Gmail and Hotmail account. I'm not a big fan of either really and pretty much just use my school one. Gmail annoys me and hotmail sends you a ridiculous amount of spam, although their spam blockers are getting better. Your kid probably wants hotmail for msn messenger, but i believe yahoo will work with msn messenger as well.

 

[Werg22]

You sound a bit too overprotective.

 

[Kurdt]

I have several e-mails and need uniformity so I download them through outlook. I don't know how people can use the service in a web browser. Its too messy and confusing.

 

[Google_Spider]

I prefer gmail. Yahoo gives me login trouble. Error code1, error code2 , error code 999, sorry for the inconvenience, contact customer care, bla bla bla ...I'm a Google fan.:tongue:
Who else gives IMAP for free ?

 

[glondor]

Thanks all I will post when we decide which one we choose. Yahoo mail is looking good.
werg22--Thanks for the unsolicited opinion of my wife and my parental skills. I will always protect my kids. The internet is a public place, the tools available are many and varied. I do not think it is unreasonable to seek knowlageable advice. Frankly all 3 of my kids appreciate being protected. It allows them to be kids.

 

[dst]

Thanks all I will post when we decide which one we choose. Yahoo mail is looking good.
werg22--Thanks for the unsolicited opinion of my wife and my parental skills. I will always protect my kids. The internet is a public place, the tools available are many and varied. I do not think it is unreasonable to seek knowlageable advice. Frankly all 3 of my kids appreciate being protected. It allows them to be kids.

***APPLAUSE***I've had a Hotmail and Gmail account for the past 4 years (POP3 got really tiring). I can't vouch for the gmail account though since it's rarely used. As long as your son is careful, it (a Hotmail account) will never be hit with spam (the spam has only recently started to come in - ZERO e-mails prior to Jan of this year).

Here is another thing to consider - back when I was 12 there were these age blocks on registration which I'm guessing are still around. I just gave a fake age and went about my business; if your son really wants a hotmail account he WILL get one.

 

[Moonbear]

I don't like yahoo...too many ads crowding all over the page for me.

I do like gmail, but agree with the issues raised by Evo that they only put your spam into a separate folder rather than deleting it immediately, so there might be quite an eye-full in there for a 12-year old.

I despise hotmail because it ALWAYS seems to be broken, but if you set the spam filters to exclusive (in other words, it only let's through messages from people you put on a safe list...he can just enter the email addresses of his friends into that), he won't have all the porn ads awaiting him.

Don't you have email through your ISP that you can just set up a mailbox for him?

 

[ice109]

there's something to be said for a child that figures out on their what's right and what's wrong

 

[CaptainQuasar]

I'm with Moonbear - if any selection needs to be made I'd go for some obscure provider that doesn't show advertisements. Web-based email is a straightforward, well-honed application at this point in history and there's no particular reason to go with a big name.

http://www.hushmail.com/" is a good one for security and privacy, though I'm sure you know that the biggest security risk is what an internet user willingly gives away about themselves.

(I'm not just saying that Hushmail is good for security because that's what they advertise; I have some expertise in computer security and their software and the policies they claim to follow internally display security knowledge and acumen.)

⚛​

 

[Saladsamurai]

there's something to be said for a child that figures out on their what's right and what's wrong

This seems like a rather obnoxious comment. He asked for advice on email services. But it seems like some people like to give their opinion on things that they weren't asked about.

I personally like Gmail. But only because it gives you more than just an email account (blogger etc.). The spam issue seems to be a tie in my opinion.

 

[Cyrus]

I use .msn, which was the old hotmail account before hotmail got bought out by msn. But if you have a hotmail account, its still the msn interface. It works great, and I get NO spam. NONE. :)

 

[P4PPY]

I would set him up on which ever email account gets the most spam. This way you have the most opportunities available to educate your child on the rights and wrongs in our society. :)

 

[ice109]

This seems like a rather obnoxious comment. He asked for advice on email services. But it seems like some people like to give their opinion on things that they weren't asked about.

I personally like Gmail. But only because it gives you more than just an email account (blogger etc.). The spam issue seems to be a tie in my opinion.

meh there's nothing wrong with a little discourse

 

[NoobixCube]

I think either or. But give your son any time on the net and he is going to figure stuff out, be it the nastier side of the net or not. Just tell him not to meet people he's contacted via the net...

 

[lisab]

I know this is pretty obvious, but get his password and check his account often.

 

[EL]

I know this is pretty obvious, but get his password and check his account often.

...and find out where he keeps his diary (if he has one) and read it through in detail...:yuck:

 

[Moonbear]

...and find out where he keeps his diary (if he has one) and read it through in detail...:yuck:

Sorry, but not even close to the same thing. A diary is written with the expectation the contents are private. There's no reason to think email should be kept private any more than a phone call is. If she requires he provide his password and is allowed to have email under the condition she can view it at any time, then there should be no surprises. Good parents pay attention to what their kids are doing. A 12-year old shouldn't be writing about anything to anyone that his parents shouldn't be able to see...if he wants to do things he'd be embarrassed about his parents seeing, then all the more reason for a parent to keep tabs on him.

Another similar approach is to simply keep the computer in a common room where you can peek over his shoulder from time to time when he's online.

 

[lisab]

...and find out where he keeps his diary (if he has one) and read it through in detail...:yuck:

You must not be a parent.

Keeping tabs on a kid's e-mail was how I found out about a 25-year-old guy who was flirting with my daughter, when she was 10. She didn't recognize it for what it was, since she didn't know what he was talking about when he suggested they "fool around."

 

[EL]

If she requires he provide his password and is allowed to have email under the condition she can view it at any time, then there should be no surprises.

My interpretation of lisab's statement may have been wrong. If the son is aware of it, it's of course another story.

 

[EL]

You must not be a parent.

Keeping tabs on a kid's e-mail was how I found out about a 25-year-old guy who was flirting with my daughter, when she was 10. She didn't recognize it for what it was, since she didn't know what he was talking about when he suggested they "fool around."

Was your daughter aware of your supervision?

 

[Evo]

Although I never monitored my children's activities online, I can't say that I disagree with doing it. I was very surprised to discover that my 12 year old daughter was building free websites for people and even companies! And that she had a website where she was counseling teenage girls on safe sex and personal issues. I was shocked that her advice was excellent, and realized that I had no idea who my 12 year old really was.

Anyway, I feel that you would step into a confrontation of an adult with your child in real life, it should be no different online.

 

[Mk]

werg22--Thanks for the unsolicited opinion of my wife and my parental skills. I will always protect my kids. The internet is a public place, the tools available are many and varied. I do not think it is unreasonable to seek knowlageable advice. Frankly all 3 of my kids appreciate being protected. It allows them to be kids.

The internet can be a great tool for free exploration. And, unlike the real world, no body can ever punch you out or otherwise physically harm you on the Internet. As for child predators? The media talks about that so much because it's and emotional soft spot for parents, regardless of how much it happens. To the average parent with a child turning into a teenager, the Internet is somewhat of an unknown territory. If you let your kids freely master the Internet, they'll soon be protecting you, with no harm to their innocent young minds. If your kids have character and intelligence in the real world, they will have enough sense on the Internet.

And, I recommend gmail. Gmail is the best. Gmail is integrated with all of Google's services, including spreadsheets, documents, photos, usenet, blogs, stocks, video, and various services for web entrepreneurs (that's where the money's at). Gmail has storage, ease, and is secure.

 

[scorpa]

Well if you keep tabs by going through your child's email, that is your decision and it completely fair to do, after all it is easy to get in trouble on the internet. But to be fair to them at least tell them you are going to do it. When I was about 13 or so I had my first email account and apparently my mom had been reading my messages on a regular basis which I was not aware of. I never had anything bad in there that I was worried about other people seeing but one day I came home to my mother fuming mad. She had an email printed off that was rather explicit and inappropriate. Turns out someone had sent the email to the wrong address but she thought it was sent to me. She had canceled the internet before I even got home, phoned the school and told all my teachers that I had received this email and was to irresponsible to use the computers at school again. She told me that I was to not go near a computer again and if I ever needed to use the internet at school for a project I was to phone her and she would come in and sit beside me while I used it (how mortifying for a teenager).

If she had just calmed down and gave me time I would have gone into my email address on my own checked the message freaked out, blocked the sender, and disabled the account and gotten a new one. After I did that I would have told my mom what had happened and that would have been that. But as it was I ended up being forbidden from using the internet until I was about 16 or 17. So I understand your concern but be sure to give your child a little credit if something does happen.

 

[lisab]

Was your daughter aware of your supervision?

Yes, she was. She wasn't happy about it, though!

 

[Evo]

Well if you keep tabs by going through your child's email, that is your decision and it completely fair to do, after all it is easy to get in trouble on the internet. But to be fair to them at least tell them you are going to do it. When I was about 13 or so I had my first email account and apparently my mom had been reading my messages on a regular basis which I was not aware of. I never had anything bad in there that I was worried about other people seeing but one day I came home to my mother fuming mad. She had an email printed off that was rather explicit and inappropriate. Turns out someone had sent the email to the wrong address but she thought it was sent to me. She had canceled the internet before I even got home, phoned the school and told all my teachers that I had received this email and was to irresponsible to use the computers at school again. She told me that I was to not go near a computer again and if I ever needed to use the internet at school for a project I was to phone her and she would come in and sit beside me while I used it (how mortifying for a teenager).

If she had just calmed down and gave me time I would have gone into my email address on my own checked the message freaked out, blocked the sender, and disabled the account and gotten a new one. After I did that I would have told my mom what had happened and that would have been that. But as it was I ended up being forbidden from using the internet until I was about 16 or 17. So I understand your concern but be sure to give your child a little credit if something does happen.

That's really bad. I trusted my daughters to have brains and maturity, and I was only surprised at how much more mature and sophisticated they were for their ages.

I think a parent's responsibility is to know their children's limits. It is not the same for all children, obviously. Unfortunately a lot of adults shouldn't be allowed on the internet unchaperoned, much less their children.

 

[EL]

Yes, she was. She wasn't happy about it, though!

Then I find it ok. Sorry if I misinterpreted your sentence "get his password".
(Although I really think a 12 year old in general should be mature enough to be able to handle a private e-mail account. Of course some are not, but, as Evo said, that holds for some adults too.)

 

[lisab]

Then I find it ok. Sorry if I misinterpreted your sentence "get his password".
(Although I really think a 12 year old in general should be mature enough to be able to handle a private e-mail account. Of course some are not, but, as Evo said, that holds for some adults too.)

Well, I do agree that by age 12, most kids are getting pretty savvy about the world. I don't remember what age she was when I set up that account for her...eight or nine, maybe. At that age I checked her account quite often. But as she got older I checked it less and less.

In this instance, I had sent her a funny email but she didn't respond after several days, so I checked her account and found this conversation with this guy...but the messages were maybe a few weeks old by that time.

I didn't take offense at your comment, no worries! People have wildly different ideas about raising kids, and on a forum such as this with members from around the world, the spectrum is especially broad.

 

[Moonbear]

(Although I really think a 12 year old in general should be mature enough to be able to handle a private e-mail account. Of course some are not, but, as Evo said, that holds for some adults too.)

Perhaps mature enough, but maybe not experienced enough to recognize when they're getting into a dangerous situation, especially if this is a new privilege for him. At least in my view (and I realize not everyone agrees on these sorts of things), when you give a kid a new priviledge, it needs to go along with some oversight at first to ensure they are handling it appropriately, and as they demonstrate their ability to handle the responsibility that goes with it, then you back off and let them become more independent.

Quite frankly, there are things I've encountered online that I'm not old enough to have seen. :yuck: I would not want a 12-year-old stumbling across it and having to explain to them why people would do things like that.

 

[Andre]

Here is something that should make you wanting to know what's going on in your kids mailbox:

http://poverty.suite101.com/article.cfm/cyber_bullying_can_kill

Cyberbullying is not a minor silly teenage problem. Some kids become so upset from the bullying that they kill themselves over it.

Cyberbullying or electronic bullying is becoming a major problem for many young people and it can be so hurtful that some have even resorted to suicide to stop the pain. Since cyberbullying happens electronically it’s more secretive.

I seem to remember a case discussed in The Netherlands.

 

[lisab]

Here is something that should make you wanting to know what's going on in your kids mailbox:

http://poverty.suite101.com/article.cfm/cyber_bullying_can_kill



I seem to remember a case discussed in The Netherlands.

Ugh. I despise bullies. They're all cowards, and to bully using e-mail, IM, etc., is especially cowardly.

 

[glondor]

Thanks for all your input everyone. My son has done a good job convincing me to get him hotmail for the antispam features. Athhough he is only 12 he can use logic and reason pretty well and he presents his case well. I think I have a budding litigator! FYI these are the rules he agreed to.
1.
I will not give out personal information such as my address, telephone number, parents’ work address/telephone number, or the name and location of my school without my parents’ permission.*

2.
I will tell my parents right away if I come across any information that makes me feel uncomfortable.

3.
I will never agree to get together with someone I “meet” online without first checking with my parents. If my parents agree to the meeting, I will be sure that it is in a public place and bring my mother or father along.

4.
I will never send a person my picture or anything else without first checking with my parents.*

5.
I will not respond to any messages that are mean or in any way make me feel uncomfortable. It is not my fault if I get a message like that. If I do I will tell my parents right away so that they can contact the service provider.

6.
I will talk with my parents so that we can set up rules for going online. We will decide upon the time of day that I can be online, the length of time I can be online and appropriate areas for me to visit. I will not access other areas or break these rules without their permission.

7.
I will not give out my Internet password to anyone (even my best friends) other than my parents.

8.
I will check with my parents before downloading or installing software or doing anything that could possibly hurt our computer or jeopardize my family’s privacy*

9.
I will be a good online citizen and not do anything that hurts other people or is against the law.

10.
I will help my parents understand how to have fun and learn things online and teach them things about the Internet, computers and other technology.