Ok I slapped someone and I feel bad

  • Thread starter Yayfordoritos
  • Start date
In summary, the conversation is about a mother who brought her daughter to an atheists meeting, but the daughter is not an atheist. The mother ended up slapping a woman at the meeting who called her daughter stupid for her beliefs. The mother is now facing consequences for her actions and is regretful for her behavior. The conversation also touches on the issue of people judging others based on their appearance. The experts advise that physical violence is not an appropriate response to verbal insults and that the mother should have handled the situation differently.
  • #1
Yayfordoritos
23
1
I went to an atheists meeting a year ago, and I brought my daughter she isn't an atheist she believes that there is something out there and there is something after you die, which I say ok you're a weirdo, but I love you. The only reason I brought her was cause I couldn't find a babysitter, and I was told it was ok. So my daughter was talking to a woman that I think might have ran the get together. I heard this woman tell my daughter that she was stupid for her beliefs, so I slapped her, the woman not my daughter. I'm not very big either. at the time I was about 5'0 110 lbs, this happened over a year ago, and now I'm 5'0 135 lbs, and all this is starting to effect me. I guess it was the wrong thing to do, but what would you do if someone called your kid stupid?

Now when I go and sign up for things I'm automatically banned. Which I think is unfair I'm an atheists but I'm also a mom.
 
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  • #2
I think it was a mistake to act so hasitly you should have talked to your daughter but now you shouldn't feel bad for what you have done but as you stated that you feel bad then try to apologize to that woman
 
  • #3
Feel bad ? When your daughter grows up and have children, she'll understand you were right, slap her! Insulting is a sign of impolite_ness and disrespect. I never feel bad if I slap a boy's face for his disrespect to me or anyone I love.
 
  • #4
I think some people look at my daughter and think cause she's pretty that she must be stupid, which is what I think that woman thought. Also I'm not just saying my daughter is pretty cause I'm her mom, she won a contest at her school for prettiest girl the past decade. She is really pretty, and it pisses me off that people use her looks to undermine her
 
  • #5
Yayfordoritos said:
I went to an atheists meeting a year ago, and I brought my daughter she isn't an atheist she believes that there is something out there and there is something after you die, which I say ok you're a weirdo, but I love you. The only reason I brought her was cause I couldn't find a babysitter, and I was told it was ok. So my daughter was talking to a woman that I think might have ran the get together. I heard this woman tell my daughter that she was stupid for her beliefs, so I slapped her, the woman not my daughter. I'm not very big either. at the time I was about 5'0 110 lbs, this happened over a year ago, and now I'm 5'0 135 lbs, and all this is starting to effect me. I guess it was the wrong thing to do, but what would you do if someone called your kid stupid?

Now when I go and sign up for things I'm automatically banned. Which I think is unfair I'm an atheists but I'm also a mom.
It is generally not appropriate to slap (or resort to physical contact) someone for a verbal offense. It could result in criminal or civil charges.

One approach would have been to admonish the offender in front of one's child, and then have a separate discussion with one's daughter.

When one mentions one is banned, banned from what?
 
  • #6
Yayfordoritos said:
I think some people look at my daughter and think cause she's pretty that she must be stupid, which is what I think that woman thought. Also I'm not just saying my daughter is pretty cause I'm her mom, she won a contest at her school for prettiest girl the past decade. She is really pretty, and it pisses me off that people use her looks to undermine her
than don't give it much concern. The people who think so are just stupid so try to tell your daughter to talk people after observing and thinking carefully
 
  • #7
Yayfordoritos said:
I went to an atheists meeting a year ago, and I brought my daughter she isn't an atheist she believes that there is something out there and there is something after you die, which I say ok you're a weirdo, but I love you. The only reason I brought her was cause I couldn't find a babysitter, and I was told it was ok. So my daughter was talking to a woman that I think might have ran the get together. I heard this woman tell my daughter that she was stupid for her beliefs, so I slapped her, the woman not my daughter. I'm not very big either. at the time I was about 5'0 110 lbs, this happened over a year ago, and now I'm 5'0 135 lbs, and all this is starting to effect me. I guess it was the wrong thing to do, but what would you do if someone called your kid stupid?

Now when I go and sign up for things I'm automatically banned. Which I think is unfair I'm an atheists but I'm also a mom.

Slapping wasn't really the best thing to do, but I do understand it. If somebody is rude against the people I love, I might lash out as well and do things I'll regret later (strange thing is that I won't do that if somebody is rude to me personally). Don't worry too much about it, you obviously love your daughter very much and that's the important part.
 
  • #8
Astro is correct, at least here in the US, you could have been arrested for assault. A verbal insult is never cause for physical violence. You taught your daughter that it's ok to act violently and irrationally when confronted by simple rudeness.

You should have told the woman that your daughter wasn't stupid. And that as an adult, she should have used more sense.

I guess the most important question is, did you apologize to the woman in front of your daughter so that your daughter would understand the mistake you made? Did you have a talk with your daughter explaining that what you did was wrong and that she should never act upon her feelings in violent ways?
 
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  • #9
Evo said:
Astro is correct, at least here in the US, you could have been arrested for assault. A verbal insult is never cause for physical violence. You taught your daughter that it's ok to act violently and irrationally when confronted by simple rudeness.

You should have told the woman that your daughter wasn't stupid. And that as an adult, she should have used more sense.

I guess the most important question is, did you apologize to the woman in front of your daughter so that your daughter would understand the mistake you made? Did you have a talk with your daughter explaining that what you did was wrong and that she should never act upon her feelings in violent ways?


I didn't apologize and I would like to, but now I don't think I will be able to get in contact with that lady.
 
  • #10
Yayfordoritos said:
I think some people look at my daughter and think cause she's pretty that she must be stupid, which is what I think that woman thought. Also I'm not just saying my daughter is pretty cause I'm her mom, she won a contest at her school for prettiest girl the past decade. She is really pretty, and it pisses me off that people use her looks to undermine her
You're not at all ashamed or disappointed for allowing your girl to participate in such superficial nonsense? Anyways, you shouldn't have slapped that woman if it was in front of your daughter. What kind of example are you setting? A pretty bad one.
 
  • #11
Nstraw said:
than don't give it much concern. The people who think so are just stupid so try to tell your daughter to talk people after observing and thinking carefully

I didn't pick her as prettiest, the staff at her school told me she was the prettiest girl they've seen win the prettiest girl contest in the past decade. It was the yearbook contest thing, where they pick most likely to succeed and best looking and all those stupid categories. I rolled my eyes when they told me that, me or her don't let her looks influence things.
 
  • #12
WannabeNewton said:
You're not at all ashamed or disappointed for allowing your girl to participate in such superficial nonsense? Anyways, you shouldn't have slapped that woman if it was in front of your daughter. What kind of example are you setting? A pretty bad one.


That woman was really really rude to my daughter, and yes I acted inappropriately, but I was trying to protect my daughter. I would love for my kid to be an atheist, but she isn't one and I have to respect that about her. I didn't slap her in front of my daughter I slapped her later on when she told me what happened. I normally don't go around slapping people, but I let my anger take over.
 
  • #13
Can I ask what the purpose of an "aethist" meeting is? Do you gather just to discuss the fact that you don't believe in imaginary beings?
 
  • #14
Evo said:
Can I ask what the purpose of an "aethist" meeting is? Do you gather just to discuss the fact that you don't believe in imaginary beings?

Pretty much, the whole thing is a little self righteous.
 
  • #15
Yayfordoritos said:
I would love for my kid to be an atheist, but she isn't one and I have to respect that about her.
... As much as i don't want to question parenting. But i was wondering. What's the deal of being an "atheist" or an "eist" these days? I would love my kids away from all those irrelevant things.
Refutal against invalid doesn't end well. Meaningless and garbage (Apologies to atheist member here)... Entertaining thought. ^^
 
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  • #16
An atheist meeting sounds pretty hippie actually, were there any purpose for that? Do people hold those like it's some hobbyists convention?
 
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  • #17
A person who calls other especially a little girl stupid only because their beliefs are different from each other doesn't sound a decent person to me, so I try to take a distance as far as possible from her/him.
 
  • #18
WannabeNewton said:
You're not at all ashamed or disappointed for allowing your girl to participate in such superficial nonsense? Anyways, you shouldn't have slapped that woman if it was in front of your daughter. What kind of example are you setting? A pretty bad one.

The only reason she went with me was cause I didn't have a babysitter. Also you seem to be taking this really personal I didn't slap you.
 
  • #19
An atheist meeting? This sounds like some troll from reddit.
 
  • #20
I understand the fierce she-wolf reaction when something unfair happens to your kid. Really, I totally, totally get that - I'm the mother of a daughter.

But let's examine what could have happened, or what may have already happened:


  • You now have a reputation as someone who is unbalanced and unstable. This could cost you in terms of future friends, study buddies, job opportunities, etc. This may have already happened, who knows.
  • The woman you slapped could have been a way better fighter than you, and totally kicked your @ss.
  • The woman you slapped knows someone who is a way better fighter than you, and has arranged for you to be jumped. That may have already happened, too.
  • The woman could have decided to call the cops, and press charges. You are immediately arrested for assault and taken to jail. If you can't reach a family member or friend (I think you're given maybe one call?), your daughter is taken into state custody -- a foster family until your kin can be contacted. What a horrific thing to put your daughter through! Oh and guess what, that may be happening this minute.

Come on, you are an *adult* and a mother.
 
  • #21
What.what the hell is this??
 
  • #22
HomogenousCow said:
What.what the hell is this??

Weirdest PF thread ever?

Seriously, to the Original Poster, you should do everything you can to find the woman and apologize. Tell your daughter about it too, and that you were wrong. This is bad karma, if you can take it in the non-religious sense...
 
  • #23
BTW, I don't see any problems with atheists meeting and I find some of the remarks a tad discourteous. There are are a lot of issues relevant to atheists that go beyond just "believing in imaginary things," many of which relate directly to the respectability of science, education, and so forth. Just IMO and perhaps slightly off topic.
 
  • #24
I'm not so sure you have to include a discussion on (a)theism in those subjects dkot. There are weirdo fundamentalists to whom those things are mutually exclusive, sure, but you're just being an extremist on the other side if you agree with their mutual exclusivity.

Most people manage just fine with theism, science, and education. The extremists just get all the headlines.

Anyway, I try to avoid even saying words like "imaginary friend" to theists. I think it's condescending. Let people believe what they want as long as they are not trying to force their beliefs on me through policy or significant social discomfort.
 
  • #25
Pythagorean said:
I'm not so sure you have to include a discussion on (a)theism in those subjects dkot. There are weirdo fundamentalists to whom those things are mutually exclusive, sure, but you're just being an extremist on the other side if you agree with their mutual exclusivity.

Of course not. My point is that there are legitimate reasons for non-thestic types to gather, just as there are reasons for theists.

Mutual exclusivity is a whole other neverending-thread-that-eventually-gets-closed thing I would rather not start.

:biggrin:

What might be relevant here, is that the OPs daughter quite possibly will associate violence with atheism, which is a great backwards step.

-Dave K
 
  • #26
Pythagorean said:
I'm not so sure you have to include a discussion on (a)theism in those subjects dkot. There are weirdo fundamentalists to whom those things are mutually exclusive, sure, but you're just being an extremist on the other side if you agree with their mutual exclusivity.

Most people manage just fine with theism, science, and education. The extremists just get all the headlines.

Anyway, I try to avoid even saying words like "imaginary friend" to theists. I think it's condescending. Let people believe what they want as long as they are not trying to force their beliefs on me through policy or significant social discomfort.

Looking at you Evo.
 
  • #27
tahayassen said:
Looking at you Evo.
Explain? If you're referring to the worship of "supernatural beings", it's just the simple truth. See the definition of "supernatural".

Definition of SUPERNATURAL

1: of or relating to an order of existence beyond the visible observable universe; especially : of or relating to God or a god, demigod, spirit, or devil
2a : departing from what is usual or normal especially so as to appear to transcend the laws of nature b : attributed to an invisible agent (as a ghost or spirit)

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/supernatural

Do you disagree with the dictionary?
 
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  • #28
Yayfordoritos said:
I went to an atheists meeting a year ago, and I brought my daughter she isn't an atheist she believes that there is something out there and there is something after you die, which I say ok you're a weirdo, but I love you. The only reason I brought her was cause I couldn't find a babysitter, and I was told it was ok. So my daughter was talking to a woman that I think might have ran the get together. I heard this woman tell my daughter that she was stupid for her beliefs, so I slapped her, the woman not my daughter. I'm not very big either. at the time I was about 5'0 110 lbs, this happened over a year ago, and now I'm 5'0 135 lbs, and all this is starting to effect me. I guess it was the wrong thing to do, but what would you do if someone called your kid stupid?

Now when I go and sign up for things I'm automatically banned. Which I think is unfair I'm an atheists but I'm also a mom.

I don't want to condone violence, but this seems to be much ado about nothing.

In my opinion, you reacted poorly and resorted to violence when there was likely a better way of handling things. It sounds as though the consequences in this case are not too severe (being unable to attend Atheist meetings seems much less severe to me than some more common responses to violence, such as escalated violence in return or criminal charges). I'd suggest you simply apologize to the person you slapped, and explain to them why you did it (but don't get your hopes too high for a kind response), and tell your daughter that you shouldn't have reacted with violence even though you believe that the woman you slapped said something very innapropriate and insulting.

You made a mistake - accept the consequences, try to learn from it, and move on. Presumably, you are an adult, and so you should be no stranger to this process by now.
 

Related to Ok I slapped someone and I feel bad

1. Why did you slap someone?

I cannot speak for your specific situation, but generally, people may slap someone out of anger, frustration, or a lack of control in the moment. It is important to reflect on your actions and try to understand why you reacted in that way.

2. Should I apologize for slapping someone?

Yes, it is important to take responsibility for your actions and apologize if you have harmed someone. It shows that you recognize the impact of your actions and are willing to make amends.

3. How can I make things right after slapping someone?

Making amends can look different for each situation, but some steps you could take include apologizing sincerely, offering to make things right or do something to make up for your actions, and trying to understand and address the root cause of your behavior.

4. What should I do if I feel guilty after slapping someone?

Feeling guilty is a normal reaction after causing harm to someone. It is important to acknowledge your feelings and take steps to make things right. Apologizing, learning from the experience, and trying to prevent similar situations in the future can help alleviate feelings of guilt.

5. Can slapping someone have legal consequences?

Yes, depending on the severity and context of the situation, slapping someone can have legal consequences. It is important to understand the laws and consequences in your specific area and to take responsibility for your actions if necessary.

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