Olden times

Previously, people could expect that their neighbours
a) also were relatives
b) workmates
and/or

c) "Repositories" for groceries you didn't have the time or money to buy on your own.

All these three sources for neighbourly interaction have dried up;
in addition, there are no longer any bored house-wives who go over to each other in the day-time to swap knitting recipes, husband woes and child boasts.

I agree that it is, indeed, a sad feature that neighbourliness has disappeared, but there aren't that many natural/spontaneous reasons for why you should talk to your neighbour unless his apple tree shadows for your garden spot.

 

Kindergartens, rather than kindly old aunties in the neigbourhood also have a share in the "blame", if we could call it "blame".


I do not think our social networks are any less extensive, rather I think in extension, these have grown.
However, perhaps most of our acquaintances only have a narrow, specific role in our life, as sparring partner at the gym, say.

Thus, it may be argued that the average "depth" in our relationships have decreased, relative to those of the previous generations.

 

It is still like that in small towns and farming areas where i am from, but you are right it sure isn't like that in the city. It was a big shock coming to the city for school and finding people won't even look at each other and say hi when they pass each other on the street. I hardly know anyone in the building I live in, I've tried to start conversations with a few people but it is pretty apparent they have no interest in meeting their neighbours. It is sad really.

 

True I suppose but it doesn't mean you can't be friendly. Half the time you try to talk to someone here and they kind of grunt hey at you without making eye contact and then leave, if they even do that.

 

When I was a kid we had a very friendly block. We even had weekly volleyball games in which most of the neighborhood participated - kids and adults alike. This went on for almost ten years. But that was a unique situation even then. Since then, the only times that I have really gotten to know the neighbors I regretted it. Currently, the only time that I hear from the neighbors is when they want something. And more often than not, the ones who go out of their way to be neighborly will be the first to become pests.

 

I speak to my neighbor on the east side of the house, we share gardening tips and information, and we trade plants. When they had a well problem and needed water, I hooked up a hose so they had water. This winter, my neighbor came over with his snow-blower and cleared about 10-15 of my drive near the street. The kids used to play together in the back yard, but then they grew apart. Now our oldest are off to college.

We talk to the lady on the other side, and we help her out if she asks. She is retired and gone most of the time, so we don't see her too much, except briefly on the weekends.

I rarely see the neighbors across the street, but we wave whenever we pass. Sometimes, if I'm walking by a neighbor's, I'll stop and chat.

Beyond the neighborhood we have friends in the immediate area whom we visit.

I know a lot of people who socialize through a religious institution (church, synagogue, mosque, . . . ) or secular or ecumenical social organization. So socializing does occur.