Over protectivehelp

I suppose what you have to understand is that girls are a different race. You don't speak that language and you aren't familiar with the culture. Your girlfriend needs to stay in touch with her peoples, as it were, or she won't feel like herself. As much as you want her attention, she needs periods where she can drop the effort of speaking rumpyson and revert to the much easier girl-speak, that is her native tongue.

 

You obviously love your gf very much, that's certainly a good thing!! But love can manifest itself in very unhealthy ways. What you are doing now is being too dependend on your gf. You basically want to restrict her freedom and you want her to always be with you. And you're only doing this to make yourself happy, even though it makes her sad. (I may sound harsh right now, but it isn't meant that way. I DO sympathize with you and I DO know how hard it is to be alone!!).

Eventually, it comes down to a very hard choice: do you want to see your girlfriend happy or do you want to see you happy.

If you really love your girlfriend, then you'll let her hang out with her friends!!

What to do now??
First of all, don't get angry at her. She doesn't deserve it. And anger is a very destructive emotion. It will destroy your girlfriend and it will destroy you.
It's ok to feel sad, disappointed, depressed, but don't feel angry. Whenever you feel angry: try to see it from your gf's point-of-view. This helps a bit.

Try to have a conversation with your girlfriend about the topic. Tell her how you feel. Tell her that you don't want to see her unhappy, but that it is sometimes hard for you (and be sure to mean it). She should try to consider your emotions. That DOES NOT mean that she should stop hanging out with her, but at least she will be aware of it and try to work out a solution.

A possible solution might be that she would call you every day. That way you have something to look out to. It really does help!!

Other solutions must come from you. Try to find a hobby or something to do, so you feel less lonely. Maybe try to talk to a councellor or psychologist. They might help you get into harmony with your emotions.

Do know that if you do nothing, then your gf WILL leave you. I will guarantee you this.

 

Young love is very precious. It seems to me that you will be alone for two days since your girlfriend is taking a two day vacation with a female friend while you will be working a 12 hour day. So you will be at work for 24 hours and she will be gone for 48 hours. Time flies bye pretty fast. Don't sweat it. Tell her you love her and you'll be there when she gets back. You need to learn to set aside time for yourself. This will give you the opportunity to do so. It's very important at your age to learn to amuse yourself. Take up a hobby that you may have wanted to do that you haven't had time for because she was there. Here's an idea you might like: Go to a hobby shop. You might find something there to amuse yourself. Time flies bye when you are doing something for yourself that is fun. Who knows, it might be a future gift for her when she arrives home. My point is look forward to the brighter side of life.

 

In addition to the excellent advice you've gotten so far:

Don't smother her. You're just going to end up pushing her farther away. It is imperative that you learn how to be alone or I don't see this relationship lasting much longer. She is already exhibiting signs of wanting some time apart. I feel like the relationship is in a very fragile place at the moment. You sound like you're genuinely interested in wanting this to work, so you must understand that you can only change yourself. I commend and respect your desire to self-evaluate and seek help. I hope everything works out.

 

Smothering someone with genuine love which is filled with honesty is fine. It's important and extremely healthy for rumpyson and his girlfriend to have freedom of space within their relationship. There is not a single person that I personally know that lives with someone 24 hours a day except if he/she are on their death bed.

P.S. We might have to consider his girlfriend is pregnant and leaving for a reason. I hope that is not the case but we may not have all the details and neither might rumpyson.

 

Huh, why do we need to assume she is pregnant??

The situation is already complicated enough. Let's not overdo things by making baseless assumptions...

 

Micromass, "If you really love your girlfriend, then you'll let her hang out with her friends!!"

Obviously, your comment was based on an assumption. I don't think my previous contribution was a baseless assumption. Futhermore, I did state, ". . .we may not have all the details and neither might rumpyson." That statement is not an assumption but in fact the truth. I can't read his girlfriend's mind. So it's merely hearsay in my opinion what rumpyson has shared with us about her. His girlfriend isn't here to speak for herself and my contributions are merely based on rumpyson's observations. I too can have the right to make my own thoughts available as has every person that has contributed to this topic. I'm an mature adult woman that has worked with youth in the past. Seen and heard what young people his age have to say.

 

I disagree. I don't think smothering someone is ever okay. At least in the sense that the person who's being smothered feels controlled and/or overwhelmed. If someone is suffocating, it doesn't matter what the device is, they're still being smothered to the point of suffocation.

This doesn't mean he can't be passionate with expressing his love, it just means he needs to figure out what is too much for her. My wife knows that I need about a full day alone about once a month, and I'm aware of her need to be social. We both make compromises for each other and it makes for a fulfilling relationship.

They need to find out what works for them, and perhaps I was a bit hasty with my "fragile relationship" conclusion. However, I don't think it's entirely unreasonable in this case.

 

Thank you.

I beg to differ with you. I'm not suffocating anyone. My husband and I have been married for over 30 years. He doesn’t mind me smothering him with genuine love. Not only is he smart and kind, but lucky me, he looks like the actor Sir Thomas Sean Connery. He's my personal 007 agent. He’s over six feet tall and an Englishman. I’m only a little over 5 feet tall so he likes my smothering him with lots of good loving filled to the brim with honesty! Naturally, he does the same thing for me.

 

That all sounds great, and I'm glad your relationship is healthy. However, if you read my post carefully, I was referring to the type of smothering that makes the other person feel controlled. Control is never healthy, and it is completely possible to try and control someone by smothering them.

So, again, I never said there was anything wrong with honest love and affection. There just needs to be a realization that not everyone enjoys being smothered.

 

I would like to backtrack on this conversation.

So you seem to be arguing with Astronuc and what I earlier stated , “Smothering someone with genuine love which is filled with honesty is fine. It's important and extremely healthy for rumpyson and his girlfriend to have freedom of space within their relationship. There is not a single person that I personally know that lives with someone 24 hours a day except if he/she are on their death bed. ”

First off, my husband and I don’t argue. So I won’t be arguing with you either. Arguing with people is unhealthy. As far as your comment, “My wife knows that I need about a full day alone about once a month, and I'm aware of her need to be social. We both make compromises for each other and it makes for a fulfilling relationship.” The impression I’m getting from your statement is that you leave your wife one full day (24 hours) once a month since you have been married because you wish to be anti-social whereas your wife prefers to be social. Personally speaking, a relationship, especially a married couple, consists of two individuals that are socially compatible who enjoy each others company and people that are non-argumentative. I leave it at that and say, “Adieu. Wishing you the best life has to offer.”:smile

 

I don't see it like that. There will always be frctions and arguments between people. But people that love eachother are ready to make compromises for the other person. You may not always like what the other person does (and it's ok not to like it), but out of love you let them do it otherwise. If you like everything about your partner: good for you. But it's not something necessary for a relationship...

 

No wonder divorce is at its all time high! People who truly love each other and are married don't argue if they are mature adults. I not only like but love everything about my husband. He is perfectly beautiful in my eyes. And every woman that I personally know that is married thinks the same way about their husband.