Parental Involvement in High School: To Help or Not to Help?

  • Thread starter MarcoD
  • Start date
In summary, the conversation discusses the topic of parental involvement in their children's education during high school. The question is raised of whether or not parents should help their children with homework and the potential impact on their academic success. Some participants share their personal experiences and opinions, with the general consensus being that parents should provide support and guidance, while ultimately allowing their children to take ownership of their education. The importance of finding a balance between being too involved and too hands-off is also mentioned.

Did you receive, or give, help with high school education?

  • Yes, of course. It's a parent's task.

    Votes: 2 22.2%

  • No, of course. Students shouldn't be that lazy.

    Votes: 3 33.3%

  • I wouldn't know or don't think it's that easy.

    Votes: 4 44.4%
  • Total voters
    9
  • Poll closed .
  • #1
MarcoD
I am a bit at a loss as a parent at the moment so please help me out.

Thing is, my eldest now goes to high school, and I don't know whether to help her with her education? I never had any help during my own high school period, but then I guess I also didn't need it, but I don't want my kids to miss a good education because I would be the only parent not helping my kids in school...

What is the default?
 
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  • #2
MarcoD said:
I am a bit at a loss as a parent at the moment so please help me out.

Thing is, my eldest now goes to high school, and I don't know whether to help her with her education? I never had any help during my own high school period, but then I guess I also didn't need it, but I don't want my kids to miss a good education because I would be the only parent not helping my kids in school...

What is the default?
I've always heard that parent's involved in helping their children with homework was important. Of course, if you aren't good in the subjects, it may be best to stay away.

Is that what you meant by help?
 
  • #3
Evo said:
I've always heard that parent's involved in helping their children with homework was important. Of course, if you aren't good in the subjects, it may be best to stay away.

Is that what you meant by help?

I don't think at the current level there is a lot I can't help them with, well except for latin of which I hardly remember anything. That isn't the problem. (And, yes, that's what I mean by help: Tutoring, as rootX stated below.)

I just don't know whether I am supposed to help them or not since I did everything myself (due to circumstance).
 
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  • #4
My parents gave me 3 critical pieces of help (well, what they did is of course uncountable, but here's the anecdotal version):

1. They always said grades are not important.
2. My father explained Archimedes principle in an intuitive way.
3. My father explained the difference between a potential, and a potential difference.
 
  • #5
I never consulted my parents what courses I am taking or what I am learning etc once I got into HS.

OP, if you help your eldest in HS, she might be unprepared for university. You cannot tutor her all through her life.
 
  • #6
There is a huge difference between genuinely helping, and doing their homework for them.

Even if you can't help directly with the academic content, you can help by providing the right sort of environment and home routine so it is "normal" for them to spend the appropriate amount of time studying.
 
  • #7
Along with what Aleph said

During the middle- and high-school years, homework gets more intense and grades start to matter more.

At the same time, teens face a lot of other big changes. They're adjusting to the physical and emotional effects of puberty, while busy social lives and sports commitments gain importance, and many also take part-time jobs.

Parents can play a crucial role in helping teens handle these challenges and succeed in school by lending a little help, support, and guidance, and by knowing what problems demand their involvement and which ones require them to hang back.

http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/learning/help_teen_homework.html
 
  • #8
MarcoD said:
I am a bit at a loss as a parent at the moment so please help me out.

Thing is, my eldest now goes to high school, and I don't know whether to help her with her education? I never had any help during my own high school period, but then I guess I also didn't need it, but I don't want my kids to miss a good education because I would be the only parent not helping my kids in school...

What is the default?
Parents should provide encouragement and support. Ultimately, it's up to the children to work toward learning.


Probably by the time I was starting 11th grade, my math and science (chemistry and physics) was well beyond my parents' experience. I was self-motivated, so I didn't need my parents help. They however did support me as best they could.
 
  • #9
As a high school teacher of physics, I can tell you with some authority that the best help a parent can be is to simply make sure that your kid actually does the homework. Give him/her a two-hour window of time each night that is for nothing else except homework/study. Expect that they are doing homework during this time. If you can't be helpful with a subject, that's fine, but there is always some advice that a parent can give.
 
  • #10
That question doesn't apply in my case, because my daughter absolutely refused any help I would try to give. She also strongly resisted telling what her grades were. To this day, I have no idea how she did in high school.

Now, this may seem odd to "helicopter parents", but I saw that as a very, very good sign. Her education was just that -- HERS. She took complete ownership.

This style of parenting won't work for all kids, I realize. But in our case, I think it was really good, since she's on track to earn her bachelor's degree before her 21st birthday.
 
  • #11
There are always exceptions to any general rule, but I wouldn't recommend Lisab's method to most parents. One can tell by high school whether or not a student will be the kind to take care of their own business; and if so, let them. There will be some that will simply never, ever, ever do any homework/study at all regardless of parental involvement; oh well.

But the majority of students benefit hugely from implementation of a simple framework of time-management. The spectrum is broad between "Helicopter" and "Hands-off," and no one solution works everywhere, so take with salt.
 
  • #12
I always check my kids' homework and point out any mistakes so they can redo it. I explain why it's wrong if necessary but I never do the homework myself.
 
  • #13
My thoughts on this, as an educator (but not of high school students) is to let them put a considerable effort into it on their own. Then, only after they've completed it to the best of their ability, don't give them answers, but if you know enough to recognize errors, you can point out homework problems that they have mistakes on and just tell them that much, but leave it up to them to find the mistake on their own and correct it.

It's funny, I've been having the complete opposite discussion with some of my fellow faculty recently. They have school-aged kids and the teachers have been sending home homework with instructions for parents to help them with it, and they're getting annoyed that they have to spend time doing the kids' assignments with them when the point of homework is supposed to be for kids to practice the classwork independently, and they have other things they need to be doing while the kids are working on homework.
 
  • #14
1) I think you should help them, but use your judgment as to whether you are contributing positively or giving them "too much help" to the point where they aren't truly learning.

2) My parents were never able to help me, but frankly if they were and chose not to I'd be quite offended.

3) The whole "well I did it this way when I was a kid" is not the best basis for raising a child. The best parent is one who is willing to explore things for their kids that they never got the chance to.

4) Question: how hard is he or she trying? Is he or she lazy, or struggling with the material?
 
  • #15
KingNothing said:
Question: how hard is he or she trying? Is he or she lazy, or struggling with the material?

Ah, too early to tell since she just started. I think she got a bit lazy after the first results were fine. I tutored her a bit on math this week since she was ill, and I guess it looks average. (I find math hard to assess though since I was mostly lazy, if not absent, in high school and math I found easy since you could get good enough grades by glancing over the subjects.)

Think this one is going to do fine, it's the second one I am more worried about.
 

What are some effective ways for parents to support their high-schoolers academically?

1. Establish a consistent routine: Having a set schedule for studying and completing assignments can help students stay organized and on track.

2. Encourage independence: While it's important for parents to be involved, it's also important for students to learn how to manage their own workload and responsibilities.

3. Communicate with teachers: Stay in touch with your child's teachers to stay informed about their progress and any areas they may need extra help in.

4. Provide a quiet and distraction-free study environment: A designated study space can help students focus and be more productive.

5. Celebrate achievements: Be sure to recognize and celebrate your child's successes, no matter how small. Positive reinforcement can motivate them to continue working hard.

How can parents help their high-schoolers balance school work and extracurricular activities?

1. Prioritize: Help your child prioritize their commitments by discussing which activities are most important to them and how much time they will realistically have to devote to each one.

2. Encourage time management: Teach your child how to effectively manage their time by creating a schedule and setting aside specific blocks of time for studying and extracurricular activities.

3. Be understanding: It's important for parents to be understanding and flexible when it comes to their child's extracurricular activities. Communicate with your child and their teachers if it becomes overwhelming.

4. Help with transportation: Offer to help your child get to and from their extracurricular activities if they don't have their own transportation. This can alleviate some stress and save time.

5. Discuss the importance of balance: Remind your child that while extracurricular activities are important, their education should always come first. Encourage them to find a healthy balance between school work and other activities.

What should parents do if their high-schooler is struggling academically?

1. Identify the root cause: Talk to your child and try to identify the reason behind their academic struggles. It could be a lack of understanding of the material, poor study habits, or personal issues.

2. Work with their teachers: Reach out to your child's teachers to get a better understanding of their performance in class and to discuss strategies for improvement.

3. Consider tutoring: If your child is struggling with a specific subject, consider hiring a tutor to provide one-on-one help and support.

4. Encourage and support: Remind your child that it's okay to make mistakes and that they can always improve. Offer your support and be there to help them through any challenges they may face.

5. Seek additional resources: There are often resources available through the school, such as study groups or academic support programs, that can provide extra help for struggling students.

How can parents help their high-schoolers prepare for college?

1. Start early: Begin discussing college with your child early on and encourage them to start thinking about their interests and goals.

2. Research together: Work with your child to research different colleges and universities to find the right fit for them.

3. Encourage extracurricular activities: Colleges often look for well-rounded students, so encourage your child to participate in extracurricular activities that align with their interests and passions.

4. Help with the application process: Assist your child with filling out applications, writing essays, and gathering necessary documents.

5. Discuss financial planning: College can be expensive, so it's important to have discussions about finances and explore options such as scholarships, grants, and student loans.

How can parents support their high-schoolers emotionally during this important time?

1. Listen and communicate: Make time to listen to your child and communicate openly and honestly with them about their feelings and concerns.

2. Be patient and understanding: High school can be a challenging time for teenagers, so it's important for parents to be patient and understanding when their child is going through emotional struggles.

3. Encourage self-care: Remind your child to take breaks, get enough sleep, and engage in activities that bring them joy and relaxation.

4. Seek professional help if needed: If your child is struggling with mental health issues, it's important to seek professional help. Look for therapists or counselors who specialize in working with teenagers.

5. Celebrate successes: Be sure

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