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Parent's torture

  1. Apr 11, 2014 #1
    i am now currently studying for jee advanced 2014.I dont have the required study materials in hard copy.so i am using my computer's internet to study.i study about 15 hours a day.i eat less.my parents dont believe that i am actually studying.they think that i am just wasting my time.i convinced them but still they dont believe me.they are beating me with a stick thinking that i am watching porn.but i really did watch it one day but i swear i never watched it again.i tried telling them but they dont agree with me.they are using abusive words on me.if i say anything bad on them,they would slap me and kick me.all my relatives too support them.i have been beaten throughout my 12th grade.maybe that's one of the reasons i am getting bad marks.my jee main exam didn't go as planned.that is the reason why i am preparing well for jee advanced.now they are saying that they wont pay the fees for jee advanced as my jee main exam didn't go well.they are also saying that they wont help me join the college.i have to earn money and enter college on my own.when i told them that it's my liberty to eat whenever i want,sleep whenever i want and watch computer.they are asking me to get out of the house.my aim is studying physics at IIT,but my parents themselves are blocking my dream.:cry:
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2014
  2. jcsd
  3. Apr 11, 2014 #2
    Sorry for my bad english.by the way jee advanced is an entrance test to get into IIT(for those of you who do not know).
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2014
  4. Apr 11, 2014 #3

    micromass

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    They are fully within their right here. As long as you live at home, you need to abide by their rules. You are an adult (or going to be an adult soon), so nothing stops you from moving out of the house if you don't like their rules. Certainly if you get beat up by your parents (which is absolutely not within their right!!), then I would move outside of the house in no time. Start your own life without your parents and don't look back. You'll be happier for it.

    I seem to recall you live in India. How serious does the police take physical aggression by parents there? You should definitely consider filing a complaint.
     
  5. Apr 11, 2014 #4
    i would be happier to start a new life but i dont have money at all.In India jobs are given only to those who are above 18.Though there are jobs for teens below 18,they are not highly payable.if i go to work then i cant study for jee advanced.one more thing is that jee advanced can be taken only twice in lifetime.
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2014
  6. Apr 11, 2014 #5

    micromass

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    Then I'm afraid you will have to find some agreement with your parents. Ask them what it would take for them to pay for your studies. And agree to their rules since you will be living at their home and you will be using their money.
     
  7. Apr 11, 2014 #6
    Apply to some U.S. schools and get the hell out of India.

    Also, I would serious consider a degree in engineering - if you're going to end up in debt, you may as well go for a degree which has a high probability of leading to gainful employment.
     
  8. Apr 11, 2014 #7
    as i already mentioned,i dont have money at all.my english is also not good.i don't know whether in U.S. there are schools that accept people like me,otherwise i must come to U.S. to work,earn money and then join college.but i currently have 0$,so for coming there itself,i must earn money.
     
  9. Apr 11, 2014 #8

    micromass

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    Then, in my opinion, there are only three real options.

    1) Convince your parents to financially give you aid to some degree. Perhaps on some conditions such as you paying them back.
    2) Try to get out a loan to finance yourself. I don't know how viable this is in India.
    3) Get a job and try to make some money. Perhaps work at the job while you are studying at the university. Or perhaps save up money to go to university later. There might not be many jobs for people below 18 years of age, but you won't be below 18 years of age forever.

    All of these options have their pro's and cons. It is up to you to decide.
     
  10. Apr 11, 2014 #9

    micromass

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    Also, I don't claim mastery of the English language, but your post would be a lot more readable with the following hints:

    - Put a space between the previous sentence and the next. So for example, instead of:

    "i like mathematics.my dream is to become a mathematician.mathematics is the best thing there is."

    write something like "i like mathematics. my dream is to become a mathematician. mathematics is the best thing there is."

    - Secondly, every new sentence should start with a capital letter. So the previous becomes:

    "I like mathematics. My dream is to become a mathematician. Mathematics is the best thing there is."

    - Finally, the word "I" should always be a capital letter, even if it's not in the beginning of a sentence. For example "Mathematics is what i like" should be "Mathematics is what I like"

    Please don't take this post as putting you down, that is not my intention at all. I'm just trying to show you how to make your posts more readable.

    (and yes, I'm not a perfect English speaker either, so if anybody has any constructive criticism about my use of the English language, please send me a PM)
     
  11. Apr 11, 2014 #10
    Only Indians can truly understand his predicament. Intentions are good but the advice given is laughably naive.

    Facts-

    i)If he lodges a formal complaint with the police they will just come and collect a small fee from his parents. Then his parents will beat him or will ask the policemen to do this. They might really throw him out out of the house if he does this.

    ii)Even applying to US colleges costs upwards of INR 50000 when you factor in everything, and even then the chance of success is minuscule. Most US colleges see international students as a source of income. Only a handful of US schools give need based financial assistance to International students. Some of them are- MIT, most Ivies, Stanford....
    The competition to get those few seats is intense. You need 2300+ SAT and some "hooks" to get through.

    So smart_worker I think you know what to do, but in case you feel direction-less -

    i)Convince your parents that you are capable of clearing JEE. Do this in any way possible.

    ii)Get JEE Advanced material in hard copy. I am sure your parents will give enough money for second hand material.

    iii)Study hard enough to get any rank. Since you aim for Physics the rank doesn't matter. Even AIR 10000 will be sufficient for a new IIT.

    If you fail at the above do not despair! Get a degree from any crap college. Once you start earning some money all your problems will be solved.

    Edit- I forgot to write- please learn to type properly.
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2014
  12. Apr 11, 2014 #11

    Evo

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    Is this a joke or the problem?
     
  13. Apr 11, 2014 #12
    If he applies to a mid-ranked college, and he has good scores, he has a decent change of getting in. Obviously if he's applying to Harvard, MIT and Stanford his chances are nill. Be realistic - if you're not one of the best in your country, don't apply to the very best schools. Aim for schools in the top 30-50 range.

    Also, the purpose of loans is so you can pay for things when you don't have the money upfront. If he can get some loans, he can make the move. He can work summers and possibly do work-study and earn extra money while living in America.

    I've seen people from some pretty bad backgrounds come here and be successful - it just takes a lot of hard work an initiative, and a lot less feeling sorry for yourself.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 11, 2014
  14. Apr 11, 2014 #13
    That's the problem. They are interfering with my liberty.
     
  15. Apr 11, 2014 #14

    Vanadium 50

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    If you are a child, your parents get to call the shots.

    If you are a legal adult, you have two options: live under your parents' roof and your parents' rules, or move out. If that second option is unpleasant - for example, you would be homeless - you might think harder about the first option.
     
  16. Apr 11, 2014 #15

    Evo

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    If you are living off of your parents, then yes, they do get to tell you what to do. If you don't like it, move out. I'm sorry, but based on your attitude, I'm inclined to side with your parents. Two sides to every story.

    If you aren't old enough to move out, then I suggest that you stop the entitled attitude and show some gratitude and try to work something out with them. It seems that your attitude may be the root of the problems.
     
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2014
  17. Apr 12, 2014 #16
    Are you an iitian? If yes,can i pm you please.
     
  18. Apr 12, 2014 #17
    I am not an IITian. I don't have much advice to give other than what I wrote. I am trying to improve my attitude, you can do that too! Don't lose hope.
     
  19. Apr 12, 2014 #18

    Astronuc

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    It would seem that one's parents are encouraging one's liberty or independence.

    While living in their home and depending on their support, one should expect that certain restrictions may apply.

    I did chores for my parents. During university, I helped them (and my siblings) financially, as well as paying for university myself.
     
  20. Apr 14, 2014 #19

    utkarshakash

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    I totally agree with this. Considering the program which you want to take up as an undergrad you have higher chances of securing a seat in any IIT since these programs do not receive much attention by students and you can easily get admission even if you get a rank between 8000-10000. But be sure you're not on their EML list. I'm an Indian btw.
     
  21. May 30, 2014 #20
    Should i do this while writing also or not?
     
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