Patent # 4,669,216

  • Thread starter zoobyshoe
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  • #1
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"High tech mousing that not only kills but crushes and incinerates the victim is offered in a trap devised by Texan Ted M. Moss. His enclosed apparatus lures a doomed rodent into a cylindrical chamber with bait. An electric eye senses the presence of the mouse and actuates a spring driven vertical harpoon that spears the creature on the spot. Once dead, the mouse is crushed between two flat metal plates to a thickness of about three-sixteenths of an inch and incinerated by an electric coil. The trap then automatically places another morsel in the bait chamber and resets itself to harpoon the next small intruder."

-Inventive Genius
Library of Curious and Unusual Facts
Time-Life books, 1991
 

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  • #2
Ivan Seeking
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Patent # 4,669,216.1

Finger gaurd for patent #4,669,216.
 
  • #3
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Patent # 4,669,216.2

Mouse ash scraper for patent # 4,669,216
 
  • #4
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Patent # 4,699,216.3

Mouse harpoon sharpener for patent # 4,699,216
 
  • #5
Ivan Seeking
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Patent #4,699,216.4

MouseBeGone Room Deodorizer.
 
  • #6
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Ivan Seeking said:
MouseBeGone Room Deodorizer.

"Are your guests uncomfortable with the odor of burning hair and seared flesh your Moss Mouse Masher creates?

Try MouseBeGone™ Room Deodorizer today!"
 
  • #7
Ivan Seeking
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Patent #4,699,216.5

MouseBeGone Room Deodorizer Neutralizer

Special Note: According to Federal Mandate 21233.33_11_1.4699216 part c
 
  • #8
Njorl
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"The flattened and roasted rodent is then placed on a soft whole wheat tortilla with sundried tomatoes, arugala and parmesean cheese. It is served with your choice of medium soft drink. It is the McMousetrap mousewrap. Available for a limited time only.

Njorl
 
  • #9
Evo
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Life would be so boring without you guys. :biggrin:
 
  • #10
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Njorl said:
"The flattened and roasted rodent is then placed on a soft whole wheat tortilla with sundried tomatoes, arugala and parmesean cheese. It is served with your choice of medium soft drink. It is the McMousetrap mousewrap. Available for a limited time only.

Njorl
And soon Subway will introduce a low-carb version of the roasted rodent, this time it is on a carb-friendly Atkins (R) Wrap. Dieters can eat mice and lose weight!
 
  • #11
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Njorl said:
"It is the McMousetrap mousewrap. Available for a limited time only."
"While supply lasts, or untill we get our A rating back from the health department."
 
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  • #12
Ivan Seeking
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APP News General Release: Due to the overwhelming success and health benefits of the "McMousetrap mousewrap", the "carb-friendly Atkins (R) Wrap", and the most successful marketing slogan in history, "Everybody Needs Mouse", the Disney Co. announced today the release of a its newest product to spin off from the so called "critter craze": A new soft drink that comes with proof of spectacular health benefits and called "The Real Mickey". The drink is available in fine strained form or for you heartier drinkers, with the pulp.
 
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  • #13
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I drink it for the fiber!
 
  • #14
Ivan Seeking
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I drink it every day. Like the label says, "it keeps you squeaky clean".
 
  • #15
Ivan Seeking
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Patent # 4,669,216.6

The Real Mickey Home Brew Kit

(Mouse trap - Patent # 4,669,216 - and The Mouse Ash scraper - patent # 4,669,216.2 purchased separately)
 
  • #16
Njorl
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Bah! With all these fast-food mouse places opening up, you just can't good mouse anymore.

Njorl
 
  • #17
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Ferret, hampster and gerbil guards, so you don't kill your own pets
 
  • #18
Ivan Seeking
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...and then disaster strikes: Mad Mouse Disease!!!
 
  • #19
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Mad Mouse Disease

MAD MOUSE DISEASE



WASHINTON, D.C. - Scores of angry mice have gathered outside various government buildings in the US capitol city of Washington to protest the increasing view of mice as a "viable protein source."

PETA spokesperson, Pamela Anderson, acting as interim representative for the angry rodents untill legal representation can be arranged, said that the mice are seeking permanent legal status as "diseased vermin" to curtail the snowballing fad of including mouse dishes on restaurant menus.

"Haven't you ever noticed their ugly, protruding, little butts?" Anderson asked. "Now who in their right mind would want to eat that?"

"It all started with that horrible mouse roasting trap", Anderson continued, "PETA is looking into how to sue him. In the meantime, please have the respect to consider these angry mice to be the diseased vermin they wish to be considered, and don't eat them."



Copyright 2004 Rooters News Service. All rights reserved
 
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  • #20
Ivan Seeking
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Now running pretty much down party lines, Democrats are demanding mice rights and Republicans are demanding mice dinners. "American Mouse is Safe" insisted the Republican whip. "What's more, they don't have any rights" he added. "They're just stinking mice!" .

There are some ugly reports surfacing about a practice known as "packratting"; where the mice are raised in little stalls with hardly any room to move, "never once free to scurry and scamper like normal mice" said one protester. Also in the news, in a coordinated effort with PETA, illegal mice fighting rings are hit by SWAT Teams in and around Las Vegas.
 
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  • #21
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Soylent Gray - it takes a mouse to catch a mouse.
 
  • #22
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Patent #4,699,216.6 DENIED

invention:Soylent Gray made from smashed, incinerated mouse carcass used as bait in Patent #4.699.216.

Decision:Patent Denied

Reason: using mouse to make bait to catch mouse to make bait. PERPETUAL MOTION DEVICES MAY NOT BE PATENTED
 
  • #23
Tsu
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zoobyshoe said:
MAD MOUSE DISEASE



WASHINTON, D.C. - Scores of angry mice have gathered outside various government buildings in the US capitol city of Washington to protest the increasing view of mice as a "viable protein source."

PETA spokesperson, Pamela Anderson, acting as interim representative for the angry rodents untill legal representation can be arranged, said that the mice are seeking permanent legal status as "diseased vermin" to curtail the snowballing fad of including mouse dishes on restaurant menus.

"Haven't you ever noticed their ugly, protruding, little butts?" Anderson asked. "Now who in their right mind would want to eat that?"

"It all started with that horrible mouse roasting trap", Anderson continued, "PETA is looking into how to sue him. In the meantime, please have the respect to consider these angry mice to be the diseased vermin they wish to be considered, and don't eat them."



Copyright 2004 Rooters News Service. All rights reserved
WHAT?!?!? No mousemeat PIE???? :cying:
 
  • #24
chroot
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Or should be it called 'mincemouse pie?'

- Warren
 
  • #25
Tsu
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Totally different recipe. I would also miss mincemouse pie, just not as much as mousemeat pie. (I like chunky meat more than minced mousey parts. :wink:)
 

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