Patent # 4,669,216

  1. "High tech mousing that not only kills but crushes and incinerates the victim is offered in a trap devised by Texan Ted M. Moss. His enclosed apparatus lures a doomed rodent into a cylindrical chamber with bait. An electric eye senses the presence of the mouse and actuates a spring driven vertical harpoon that spears the creature on the spot. Once dead, the mouse is crushed between two flat metal plates to a thickness of about three-sixteenths of an inch and incinerated by an electric coil. The trap then automatically places another morsel in the bait chamber and resets itself to harpoon the next small intruder."

    -Inventive Genius
    Library of Curious and Unusual Facts
    Time-Life books, 1991
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Ivan Seeking

    Ivan Seeking 12,539
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    Patent # 4,669,216.1

    Finger gaurd for patent #4,669,216.
     
  4. Patent # 4,669,216.2

    Mouse ash scraper for patent # 4,669,216
     
  5. Patent # 4,699,216.3

    Mouse harpoon sharpener for patent # 4,699,216
     
  6. Ivan Seeking

    Ivan Seeking 12,539
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    Patent #4,699,216.4

    MouseBeGone Room Deodorizer.
     

  7. "Are your guests uncomfortable with the odor of burning hair and seared flesh your Moss Mouse Masher creates?

    Try MouseBeGone™ Room Deodorizer today!"
     
  8. Ivan Seeking

    Ivan Seeking 12,539
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    Patent #4,699,216.5

    MouseBeGone Room Deodorizer Neutralizer

    Special Note: According to Federal Mandate 21233.33_11_1.4699216 part c
     
  9. Njorl

    Njorl 875
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    "The flattened and roasted rodent is then placed on a soft whole wheat tortilla with sundried tomatoes, arugala and parmesean cheese. It is served with your choice of medium soft drink. It is the McMousetrap mousewrap. Available for a limited time only.

    Njorl
     
  10. Evo

    Staff: Mentor

    Life would be so boring without you guys. :biggrin:
     
  11. And soon Subway will introduce a low-carb version of the roasted rodent, this time it is on a carb-friendly Atkins (R) Wrap. Dieters can eat mice and lose weight!
     
  12. "While supply lasts, or untill we get our A rating back from the health department."
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2004
  13. Ivan Seeking

    Ivan Seeking 12,539
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    APP News General Release: Due to the overwhelming success and health benefits of the "McMousetrap mousewrap", the "carb-friendly Atkins (R) Wrap", and the most successful marketing slogan in history, "Everybody Needs Mouse", the Disney Co. announced today the release of a its newest product to spin off from the so called "critter craze": A new soft drink that comes with proof of spectacular health benefits and called "The Real Mickey". The drink is available in fine strained form or for you heartier drinkers, with the pulp.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2004
  14. I drink it for the fiber!
     
  15. Ivan Seeking

    Ivan Seeking 12,539
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    I drink it every day. Like the label says, "it keeps you squeaky clean".
     
  16. Ivan Seeking

    Ivan Seeking 12,539
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    Patent # 4,669,216.6

    The Real Mickey Home Brew Kit

    (Mouse trap - Patent # 4,669,216 - and The Mouse Ash scraper - patent # 4,669,216.2 purchased separately)
     
  17. Njorl

    Njorl 875
    Science Advisor

    Bah! With all these fast-food mouse places opening up, you just can't good mouse anymore.

    Njorl
     
  18. Ferret, hampster and gerbil guards, so you don't kill your own pets
     
  19. Ivan Seeking

    Ivan Seeking 12,539
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    ...and then disaster strikes: Mad Mouse Disease!!!
     
  20. Mad Mouse Disease

    MAD MOUSE DISEASE



    WASHINTON, D.C. - Scores of angry mice have gathered outside various government buildings in the US capitol city of Washington to protest the increasing view of mice as a "viable protein source."

    PETA spokesperson, Pamela Anderson, acting as interim representative for the angry rodents untill legal representation can be arranged, said that the mice are seeking permanent legal status as "diseased vermin" to curtail the snowballing fad of including mouse dishes on restaurant menus.

    "Haven't you ever noticed their ugly, protruding, little butts?" Anderson asked. "Now who in their right mind would want to eat that?"

    "It all started with that horrible mouse roasting trap", Anderson continued, "PETA is looking into how to sue him. In the meantime, please have the respect to consider these angry mice to be the diseased vermin they wish to be considered, and don't eat them."



    Copyright 2004 Rooters News Service. All rights reserved
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2004
  21. Ivan Seeking

    Ivan Seeking 12,539
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    Now running pretty much down party lines, Democrats are demanding mice rights and Republicans are demanding mice dinners. "American Mouse is Safe" insisted the Republican whip. "What's more, they don't have any rights" he added. "They're just stinking mice!" .

    There are some ugly reports surfacing about a practice known as "packratting"; where the mice are raised in little stalls with hardly any room to move, "never once free to scurry and scamper like normal mice" said one protester. Also in the news, in a coordinated effort with PETA, illegal mice fighting rings are hit by SWAT Teams in and around Las Vegas.
     
    Last edited: Apr 22, 2004
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