People ignore me and don't like me.

[Ignas]

Hello, I'm new to this forum and I'm here with a very important question for me. Sorry for my english mistakes, I'm from Lithuania. Well I will start with introducing myself and my problems. I'm a 14 years old teenager, and I know that some of members will say at that age this is normal, and that's not true cause i have been ignored all my life. Well I have friends but they ignore me really often and I react to that really hard, and I just really don't like that and don't know what to say and what to do. When I'm with a friends company and all my friends are speaking with girls or girlfriends, I should do that too but girls just ignore me, often girls say that I'm cute and silent, but that's not true, girls say that to make me happy because I often look very sad, my good friends sometimes ignore me too, but they are also trying to help me, but now I'm just like afraid to meet new girls, cause I think that new girls will ignore me too, and if I trie to meet a new girl, and if I fail, like always failed to do that, everyone will laugh at me... I don't know what to do cause I'm pretty silent person and the reason of it is that people maybe just don't like me and ignore me too... Well that's my problem, hope you guys will help me find the way out.

 

[Ivan92]

The best thing I can say is start to be more social. I am quiet myself, but the important thing is to talk. Don't bother with what people think of you! People should accept you for who you are.

 

[nucleargirl]

I get ignored too and I'm like wayyy older than you! I don't know why it happens, and over time I just don't care anymore. I guess we should ask ourselves, what we have that others should be interested in? try to make ourselves who we want to be, and then we will find others who think the same way. Eventually you will meet people you click with. And it will get better when you go to university or into work. At school people tend to stick in groups and it can be hard to make new friends once you are stuck in a group of 'friends'. Try to talk to more people if you can and you might find someone who is interested in you and what you have to say.

 

[Galteeth]

Try not to worry about what people think. This will actually make you more popular. You could also make yourself hard to ignore, depending on your tastes. Try a crazy hairdo maybe. Or find groups with similar interests. As far as the girl thing, don't sweat it, you're fourteen. There's a lot of pressure at that age to prove your mettle so to speak, but realistically, you're not physically mature enough yet where most girls who are physically mature are going to find you attractive. It definately gets easier with time.

 

[dipole]

If people are ignoring you maybe you are coming off as bizarre.

Do people ignore you to your face, or just avoid you? If you're walking up to someone and making conversation, and they just ignore you, then maybe you're not approaching people correctly. If people just don't seem to notice you, maybe it's your appearance or the fact that you're really quiet.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Everyone gets ignored sometimes. If you let each instance of this seem like a crushing blow, you will build up resentment and get more and more demanding about not being ignored. Then, each time it happens will seem worse and worse. You get quieter and quieter, playing a mental game with everyone else that they're not even in on, keeping score about when they ignored you. They don't know this is going on in your head and are just avoiding you simply because it's so hard to get someone to open up if they seem determined to stay quiet.

My advise is that you forget the whole issue, talk when you feel like talking, and don't get bent out of shape when people don't respond.

 

[Esgrimidor]

I think you must occupy, never worried.
Take the good action

 

[Dembadon]

As you get older, if you persist in making the effort, you find more people who are compatible with your personality. Everyone around your age is still trying to figure out who they are and what they want to be¹. Give it some time; you'll eventually meet people you "click" with.

¹ This doesn't end at a certain age, it's just more common at younger ages, in my opinion.

 

[checkitagain]

Well I have friends but they ignore
me really often and I react to that really hard, and I just
really don't like that and don't know what to say and
what to do.

Then I would say that they are not really your "friends," because
friends wouldn't ignore you "really often."

They sound as if they are just peers or the like.

In general, a friend would be there to support you, not just
when it is convenient to them, as talked about in this song
sung by Tracy Lawrence, Kenny Chesney, and Tim McGraw.
It is titled

"Find Out Who Your Friends Are."

I would drop these individuals and develop "friendly" relationships
with others who have some common interests and have your
interests at heart. Don't hang near people from whom you seek
approval and validation. And, at best, these individuals sound
indifferent to you.

 

[Pythagorean]

you might have a small sample size of people to choose for friends, too. None of us know your demographic. Once I moved out of my moderately small town, I found out there were a lot more people out there that had ideals and insecurities similar to mine.

And now I don't have time for any of them! :/

 

[Moonbear]

you might have a small sample size of people to choose for friends, too. None of us know your demographic. Once I moved out of my moderately small town, I found out there were a lot more people out there that had ideals and insecurities similar to mine.

And now I don't have time for any of them! :/

Good point! I work with high school students over the summer, and being some of the top students in the state, sometimes their first exposure to kids who think like them and feeling like they aren't the only one who enjoys learning is in our summer program. A lot of these kids come from small towns, and practically blossom over the 3 weeks we have them when they don't feel they have to hide being smart. I watched one kid go from being painfully shy and sitting entirely by himself for meals the first day (I talked to him a bit to find out he didn't really have friends and the other kid attending from his school had abandoned him already) to being the one all the girls thought was "soooo cute" by the end of the program. He's an example of someone who just needs to get out of his small town to find more people with similar interests as him. But it doesn't really need to be a small town. The same could happen if you're in a school that keeps you mostly in classes with the same students all day (I was in alarge town and huge high school, but had pretty much the same 30 students in my classes all day long...the only time I saw more kids was in gym class when they scheduled large groups of us together and let us pick our activities on the first day of class instead of pre-scheduling us).