I used to post here. It might have been years ago. As of lately, I have become bored (no offense) and decided to check out some of my old haunts. I am not depressed, but I am having some problems in my life lately so I thought I would see what people here think. I don't expect to get an answer, but typing things out is a bit helpful for me in and of itself. So here goes. I was a 90%+ student in High School with relatively little effort. I decided to take English in university and found out I was not that interested in making a career of it. I switched to Philosophy, and I just finished my second year with mediocre results. I am planning on switching to Biology and am quite happy with this decision. So basically I spent two years barely applying myself. I felt bad about this, but I was mainly passionate about playing World of Warcraft, a video game. I have become incredibly good at this, but I have become bored of it lately (possibly due to extra time avaliable to play in the summer). Honestly, though, it is due to a realization that while I can ignore virtual obligations and accomplishments with little consequences to myself, this attitude can't be applied in real life forever. I am fortunate enough that I have strong support from parents. I would like to hope that next semester I take Biology and everything falls into place, but I think that is too idealistic. For some reason, I am not motivated to apply myself. I looked up motivation and found that there are two stereotypical types, intrinsic and extrinsic. I already have felt guilty and know I should be doing something. So, clearly, extrinsic motivations do not play a strong influence in my decisions. Intrinsic motivations, such as my desire to play games (which have diminished), completely dominate my life. As bad as this sounds, my real life hinders my accomplishments in a virtual world. This should be the case, but if I were to turn this around, I could put in the efforts of a virtual world into a real one, and I could achieve a lot of things. This is all great on paper, but where is the motivation supposed to come from? What appeals to me in games is competition and challenging scenarios. I compete with other players and use different tactics to outsmart and outplay opponents. Perhaps I am using virtual achievements to overcome a normally low self-esteem? I have been to psychiatrists before, and they usually don't do anything but give me medication, which I am currently on and helps (believe me it helps), and I also think this issue is something that (with help) I need to overcome personally. I want to become passionate about learning again, meet new people, and have sexual encounters. My main issue, however, is motivating myself to do my work. I don't want to force myself to study and learn. I want to enjoy studying and learning for their own sake. I used to enjoy them more, and maybe I still do enjoy them and don't realize it. Maybe I have replaced the accessibility of virtual learning in non-real scenarios with the inaccessability of real learning. Honestly, the way information is presented in video games makes it much more compelling and complex in many circumstances, I think. Overall, I'm not sure what I want. I think I was in a personal bubble that I have just came out of and realized is not worth being inside. Before, I would have said I like playing video games. I even imagined myself having a life consisting of only video games and working, and I thought that such a life would be desirable. However, video games aren't an evil. They are fun. I don't think I should be focusing on them as much as I do? So, most of my rant doesn't seem to have much someone can view as a question. It's mainly just a public rant for personal therapy. However, if anyone has any ideas, specifically regarding how to enjoy learning over video games, those would be much appreciated. Thanks!