What are some humorous comparisons between physical theories and women?

[Math Is Hard]

ok, so it's a little sexist, but I thought it was clever. Ladies, just substitute boy for girl and he for she..

Physical theories as women
By Simon Dedeo

0. Newtonian gravity is your high-school girlfriend. As your first encounter with physics, she's amazing. You will never forget Newtonian gravity, even if you're not in touch very much anymore.

1. Electrodynamics is your college girlfriend. Pretty complex, you probably won't date long enough to really understand her.

2. Special relativity is the girl you meet at the dorm party while you're dating electrodynamics. You make out. It's not really cheating because it's not like you call her back. But you have a sneaking suspicion she knows electrodynamics and told her everything.

3. Quantum mechanics is the girl you meet at the poetry reading. Everyone thinks she's really interesting and people you don't know are obsessed about her. You go out. It turns out that she's pretty complicated and has some issues. Later, after you've broken up, you wonder if her aura of mystery is actually just confusion.

4. General relativity is your high-school girlfriend all grown up. Man, she is amazing. You sort of regret not keeping in touch. She hates quantum mechanics for obscure reasons.

5. Quantum field theory is from overseas, but she doesn't really have an accent. You fall deeply in love, but she treats you horribly. You are pretty sure she's fooling around with half of your friends, but you don't care. You know it will end badly.

6. Cosmology is the girl that doesn't really date, but has lots of hot friends. Some people date cosmology just to hang out with her friends.

7. Analytical classical mechanics is a bit older, and knows stuff you don't.

8. String theory is off in her own little world. She is either profound or insane. If you start dating, you never see your friends anymore. It's just string theory, 24/7.

from http://www.physics.mcgill.ca/~arobic/funny/physicalwomen.html

 

[-Job-]

Sounds like you have a lot of experience dating women. Ironically, having a lot of experience in physics often leads to no experience with women, for guys that is.

 

[Evo]

Sounds like you have a lot of experience dating women.

MIH, is there something you haven't told us?

 

[Math Is Hard]

Hey, what happens at band camp STAYS at band camp.

 

[fourier jr]

aha i know all about general relativity except she's not general relativity, she's environmental economics, & we never went out (didn't even go to high-school together) but I've had her staked out for the last couple yrs. it's cool to see flaky 20-year-olds all grown up.

 

[Math Is Hard]

aha i know all about general relativity except she's not general relativity, she's environmental economics, & we never went out (didn't even go to high-school together) but I've had her staked out for the last couple yrs. it's cool to see flaky 20-year-olds all grown up.

I went out with Statistics for a while, but he got on my nerves. He was always comparing me with other people. :grumpy:

 

[franznietzsche]

I definitely dated both Quantum Mechanics and General Relativity

 

[Pengwuino]

I tried to go all the way with Newtonian physics

but she gave me a null value...

 

[selfAdjoint]

General Relativity has a couple of daughters - the LQG crowd. They are typical teenagers, moody and changeable and simply don't recognize their Mom on the street, but boy are they hot! Jailbait for sure! Currently they're seen around a lot with that raffish crowd from Category Theory.

 

[TheStatutoryApe]

3. Quantum mechanics is the girl you meet at the poetry reading. Everyone thinks she's really interesting and people you don't know are obsessed about her. You go out. It turns out that she's pretty complicated and has some issues. Later, after you've broken up, you wonder if her aura of mystery is actually just confusion.

That is probably the most concise explination of my ex that I have ever seen.

 

[El Hombre Invisible]

With his usual amazing timing, El Hombre blasts open the door, leaps into the room, does a roly-poly, lands on his feet, flings his arms into the air and proclaims:

I dated thermodynamics for a while but I got a lot less out of the relationship than I put in!

Somewhere far, far in the distance, a dog began to bark.

 

[matthyaouw]

I'm the meteoric-marine mixing zone theory of dolomitisation of carbonate platforms. Most don't know who I am, and those that take the time to get to know me dismiss me fairly easily and never speak of me again.


Woo, self-defeatism!

 

[___]

there was one who wanted to be Newtonian, i said no, there was another one, i said no again. i hear that there is another one but i m not sure. I'm looking for my quantum, although i haven't found one (at least not the real one if you count those who crush you(which if you do will be my 12the one)).

 

[Enuma_Elish]

They left out pre-Newtonian physics (mostly Archimedean principles): "the really pretty girl in grades 1 through 5 who set the standard for all the rest without you even knowing it."

I didn't even know it was physics; probably, it was not. It was called "science."