Physics Jokes

  • #1
110
0
Anyone got any good physics jokes?
 

Answers and Replies

  • #2
dst
377
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Two neutrinos go through a bar...
 
  • #4
berkeman
Mentor
60,920
11,308
Two neutrinos go through a bar...

Now that's funny! :rofl: Hadn't heard that one before.
 
  • #5
705
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Two neutrinos go through a bar...

I don't think anybody can top that.
 
  • #6
70
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I pack my own Fulgurator allway's, wana see it?
 
  • #7
70
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My head's so bald, and shinny, and i can use it to create a radiophotoluminescence effect :)

<< post edited by berkeman >>
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #8
2,800
602
Researchers in Fairbanks Alaska announced last week that they have discovered a superconductor which will operate at room temperature.

The experimentalist comes running excitedly into the theorist's office, waving a graph taken off his latest experiment. 'Hmmm,' says the theorist, 'That's exactly where you'd expect to see that peak. Here's the reason (long logical explanation follows).' In the middle of it, the experimentalist says 'Wait a minute', studies the chart for a second, and says, 'Oops, this is upside down.' He fixes it. 'Hmmm,' says the theorist, 'you'd expect to see a dip in exactly that position. Here's the reason...'.

A psychologist makes an experiment with a mathematician and a physicist. He puts a slice of a mouth-watering chocolate cake in one corner of the room and the mathematician on a chair in another one, and tells him: 'I´ll half the distance between you and the cake every five minutes, and you´re not allowed to stand up.' the mathematician runs away, yelling: 'in that case, I´ll never get to this cake!'. After that, the psychologist takes the physicist and tells him the plan. The physicist starts grinning. the psychologist asks him: 'but you´ll never get to this cake?', the physicists tells him: 'sure, but for all practical things this is a good approximation.

Renee Descartes walks into a bar, the bartender says 'sir can I get you a martini 'Descartes says 'I don't think...' and he disappears

Heisenberg is out for a drive when he's stopped by a traffic cop. The cop says 'Do you know how fast you were going?' Heisenberg says 'No, but I know where I am.'

There is this farmer who is having problems with his chickens. All of the sudden, they are all getting very sick and he doesn't know what is wrong with them. After trying all conventional means, he calls a biologist, a chemist, and a physicist to see if they can figure out what is wrong. So the biologist looks at the chickens, examines them a bit, and says he has no clue what could be wrong with them. Then the chemist takes some tests and makes some measurements, but he can't come to any conclusions either. So the physicist tries. He stands there and looks at the chickens for a long time without touching them or anything. Then all of the sudden he starts scribbling away in a notebook. Finally, after several gruesome calculations, he exclaims, 'I've got it! But it only works for spherical chickens in a vacuum.'
 
  • #10
3,106
4
Thanks, Shyan.
 
  • #11
Physwax
Heisenberg went for a drive and got stopped by a traffic cop. The cop asked, "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replied, "No, but I know where I am." :tongue2:
 

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