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Point in a marriage between two non-christians?

  1. Jun 28, 2003 #1
    Not sure this belongs here, but whatever. Is there any point in a marriage between two non-christians?
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 5, 2013
  2. jcsd
  3. Jun 28, 2003 #2


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    what are you trying to communicate here? if it is what i am thinking then, are you a christian who scorns others for not being one?
  4. Jun 29, 2003 #3
    No, not at all. Me and my girlfriend are both non-Christian, and we were talking about marriage, but I just can't see the point if we're both not Christian...
  5. Jun 29, 2003 #4
    If your looking for a right decision, there has never been a right one and there has never been a wrong one there have only been repercussions. The answer lies within you. Can something outside yourself give your life more value? The question is, is it outside of yourself?
  6. Jun 29, 2003 #5
    It depends more on how you feel about ceremonies...do you need one? And there is always a legal aspect to consider. If you are not married, it is harder to get the legal benefits of marriage.
  7. Jun 29, 2003 #6
    I suppose recognise love for another person would be the standard response. It is also thought to be the best situation in which to bring up children -it adds stability.
  8. Jun 29, 2003 #7
    I don't really need one. It seems kind of empty if I don't follow the religion, but I'd go through with it if it made her happy. How does the Church look upon those who marry under it who aren't Christian? Thanks for the input btw.
  9. Jun 29, 2003 #8


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    i am not sure about other places, but in the united states, you can get legally married without a ceremony...that is, you can have all of the legal benefits of marriage but never be married by a religious person...personally, regardless of religious beliefs, or lack of them, when you are willing to marry someone, it does show your love and committment to that person...
  10. Jun 29, 2003 #9
    even if you both are non religious there are many other aspects of a formal marriage. there are legal and financial issues along with social reasons as well. it's easier just to get married then to have to explain to your closed minded neighbor (or parents)why you are sleeping together if you aren't married.
  11. Jun 30, 2003 #10

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    I'm sure you can have a marriage which needn't have any religious overtones at all. You exchange vows, you swear in or whatever you do, you commit to each other, you sign the bits of paper, and then you are married. God need not be mentioned at all, and no priest is required.

    I do think something needs to be at least said at some stage of a relationship to differentiate between the "I think this could last forever" and the "Thats it, no matter what happens, we are going to make this last forever". Thats what "marriage" means to me, its a commitment to make it work no matter what. And the only reason I could think of making that commitment, would be because of Kids.

    Now, whether you need to have a ceremony, and invite all family and friends around etc to do this...thats just a personal choice.
  12. Jun 30, 2003 #11


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    AFAIK, the church will not marry you unless you're a member (probably depends on which particular denomination, though). Luckily for the huge population of non-christians in the US and the world, you don't need to be married by a Christian minister. You don't even need to be married by a minister, at all.

    Justices of the peace can perform marriage ceremonies.

    If you're at sea, the captain of a ship can perform a marriage ceremony.

    There are plenty of others.
  13. Jul 1, 2003 #12
    I wish I said that, you are soooo right.
  14. Jul 1, 2003 #13
    Hmm, never even thought about a non-religious ceremony. I'd rather go for that than getting married through the church...
  15. Jul 1, 2003 #14
    It's a public announcment that you want to spend the rest of your life together.
    But if you're christian, it's a public announcment that you want to have sex.
  16. Jul 1, 2003 #15


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    hehe, couldn't have said it better myself...
  17. Jul 1, 2003 #16


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    Booo! Booo I say!
  18. Jul 2, 2003 #17
    Marriage is not just ceremony.
    Its a symbolic act that sets up your mind to responsibility.

    Knights used to swear allegiance to their kings. It became matter of honor. They went to death for that honor. Stupid? But that honor gave them strength to overcome fear, uncertainty and doubt. Without such strength, all there is is moral biching. Strength you draw from honor is what makes it possible to achieve 'impossible'.

    Marriage doesn't end with chemistry. It is put to test not when you are happy, but when you are sad, angry, desperate, loosing tolerance. You swear that you take full responsibility for other person, in all cases of life, including unimaginable. You establish bond, entanglement, becoming one, family. You swear that you wouldn't let her down.
    When marriage ceremony is passed without complete realisation of implications and its full scope, its useless. It has no spirit and no function.

    Christians swear in front of god, and that has special binding force in it. If you don't believe, you swear in front of bunch of other people for whose attitude you care. Your honor is whats at stake. It gives you strength, and if you fail, you're going down with it.

    By me, it doesn't matter in front of whom one might swear. It might be family or single person whom you respect most, you could swear aswell in front of your not yet born son. Still, you have to say it out loud in front of witnesses with full realisation of your decision. In the end, its not what you say that matters, its what you feel about it years and years after having said it. Words used to have enormous might. They haven't changed much, people have.

    Seems to me that you are not yet ready for the act of marriage ceremony. I'd suggest you to first seek and find the spirit of it before you go for it.
  19. Jul 26, 2003 #18
    Interesting that you would ask that question. You may not be aware of it but perhaps you are looking for a reason not to get married?
  20. Jul 26, 2003 #19
    Wow ! this is what i was going to say !
    I enjoyed all the posts here, but it seems like all the posters think that only christians have religious marriage !!

    Anyway, marriage in my community is a way to make a family, start ur own life, and be responsible of urself (and ur wife, kids in future .. etc).
    Although we (in most cases, i would say more than 90% of them) don't have sex before getting married, we still don't really consider marriage as a way to announce that u want to have sex :smile:, cause they understand marriage has its responsibilites :smile:.
  21. Jul 30, 2003 #20


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    Re: Marriage

    This is kind of like asking "what's the meaning of life"?

    Religion aside, marriage can offer happiness, security, legal benefits, status, and a positive environment in which to raise children. (yeah, there are difficulties too...but the question seems to be about reasons to get married, not reasons to avoid it)

    Christian churches have varying positions on this. Some accept such marriages, some don't. I don't know the specifics on that but from what I hear (as one example), the Catholic Church can choose to bless (accept) some non-Catholic marriages if that couple becomes part of that church's community.
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