Pretending to be Something You're Not: Benefits & Challenges

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In summary, the conversation discusses the concept of pretending and its impact on one's identity and relationships. The speakers share personal experiences of pretending and question the line between their true selves and their acted selves. They also touch on the idea that the self is constantly changing and evolving, making it impossible to truly know oneself. Ultimately, pretending is seen as a way to experiment with and improve oneself, but it can also be limiting and hinder genuine connections with others.
  • #1
Gale
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can i pretend to be something i am? is it more real if I'm pretending, or just existing? if i pretend to be a girl... i think i'd probably act more girly than if i was just being me you know? but really, I'm a girl either way... or like, if i pretend to be smart, i usually come off smarter than i really am, (i mean like, actually trying to be convincingly smart, not like, "Look at me I'm smart" cause you look stupid when you do that...) or like... if i pretend I'm happy, its convincing...

pretending you're happy is an interesting thing actually... sometimes if i smile just cause i want people to think I'm happy... it actually lightens my mood, cause i feel riddiculous for smiling when i feel so crappy, and the riddiculousness of it makes me kinda laugh... which is more riddiculous... and so on...

anyways... ya...
 
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  • #2
Actually,i'll pretend that u're awake at 5.20 in the morning...:tongue2:The short answer to your first question is:NO.The long answer is:NO,because it makes no sense to pretend to be something/someone you already are.Surely,u could twist the words and even bring me the dictionary just to prove me wrong,but common sense & logics should be always true.

Is this philosophy...? : :yuck: I thought it was GD.Since it makes no sense,it has to be philosophy.If it's useless,it's GD (no offense,Greg!).

*Gets out slamming the door*


Daniel.
 
  • #3
we are all actors...the world and everyone in it..is our stage..
a lot of pretending happens in relationships... :!)
Ive done it...and have had it done to me.
 
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  • #4
Gale17 said:
can i pretend to be something i am? is it more real if I'm pretending, or just existing? if i pretend to be a girl... i think i'd probably act more girly than if i was just being me you know? but really, I'm a girl either way... or like, if i pretend to be smart, i usually come off smarter than i really am, (i mean like, actually trying to be convincingly smart, not like, "Look at me I'm smart" cause you look stupid when you do that...) or like... if i pretend I'm happy, its convincing...

pretending you're happy is an interesting thing actually... sometimes if i smile just cause i want people to think I'm happy... it actually lightens my mood, cause i feel riddiculous for smiling when i feel so crappy, and the riddiculousness of it makes me kinda laugh... which is more riddiculous... and so on...

anyways... ya...

Obviously you find a difference between the person you are and the "girl" image you have in your mind, and between the happiess you feel and the "happiness" you dream of. I think that in both cases the reality is much richer than you can imagine, and pretending to be what you imagine amounts in the end to trying to emphasize some particular features of the imagined state that you don't believe exist in the current real state. This is just one way of trying to improve yourself, or just experiment with the limits of your personality. There doesn't seem to be any harm in it.
 
  • #5
someone said up their that we are all actors. I agree with it.

The "You" doesn't exist. The "you" can't exist, because nobody knows it: not even you know yourself completely; this is one of the meanings of life (in philosophy), you are constantly trying to understand you, te know you, but no human has ever achieved it: I think it is actually an impossible thing, at least for humans.

Would "you" still be "you" if you had lived, for example, in india? or in 1805? or a Gemran 30 year old Jewish in 1941? I don't think so. Never.

Let's define what "you" are. "YOU" should onkly mean, two things: mind and body. with this we can reduce all definitions. Well, your body may change, or may not: you may be tall, small, thin, obese... Your mind, is the group of experiences, or things that happen to you, since were you are born, to how you die.

And, we can never know who we are compeletely, because as soon as we try to, we have already change, we are another person. We are sort of constantly changing, never being our selves. Never getting to know who we are.

Plus, bcause of the above statement, that we never know who we are, then, we can never "act" or "be" what we are. Because we aren't able of being it. So, this is why we are constantly "acting" or wearing "masks" of our selves. This is the pretending of our selves, of what our unknown of our selves is supposed to be,. What we believe to be, is what we add to what we know we are.
 
  • #6
where do you draw the line between "You" and what you are acting like? in your paragraph YOU (lol too many u's) make it seem easy. but isn't your personality little peices of other ppl's personalities? so what is acting like u? and what is actin glike "them"?
 
  • #7
Pretending you're an elf doesn't make you any more of an elf as you have cybersex.
 
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  • #8
3mpathy said:
where do you draw the line between "You" and what you are acting like? in your paragraph YOU (lol too many u's) make it seem easy. but isn't your personality little peices of other ppl's personalities? so what is acting like u? and what is actin glike "them"?

Your personality is never about "them" or theirparts of personality, this is only a small part, but you can never (nearly) be or understand anybody because what he thinks is from his personality makred by nature, conditions, obligations, rights...which specialise in his own analize of nature.

When you act like you, you are actually you yorself, not acting, mostly: what you don't act is what you know about you, what you act is what you don't know about you but you think you know about you or predict you know about you.
 
  • #9
I think you're echoing one of Sartre's stories. I remember this one thing about a waiter that was trying to be a waiter and so he was a little 'too much' waiter and so technically wasn't a waiter.. but really he was a waiter anyways. There was some point behind it, I think it had to do with sartre's whole human interaction is ruled by presenting our image of ourself to others philosophy.
 
  • #10
Gale17 said:
can i pretend to be something i am? is it more real if I'm pretending, or just existing? if i pretend to be a girl... i think i'd probably act more girly than if i was just being me you know? but really, I'm a girl either way... or like, if i pretend to be smart, i usually come off smarter than i really am, (i mean like, actually trying to be convincingly smart, not like, "Look at me I'm smart" cause you look stupid when you do that...) or like... if i pretend I'm happy, its convincing...

pretending you're happy is an interesting thing actually... sometimes if i smile just cause i want people to think I'm happy... it actually lightens my mood, cause i feel riddiculous for smiling when i feel so crappy, and the riddiculousness of it makes me kinda laugh... which is more riddiculous... and so on...

anyways... ya...

When you pretend you prepare a tendency through thought processes and then take it in a certain physical direction. The more your brain tends to a specific ideal or concept, the more the rest of the body will follow. Eg: a man has pre-tended to be a girl over time and a few years later has become a girl with all the necessary anatomy, hormones and other attributes. A woman who lacks some of the extreme attributes of femininity and who pretends to possesses these attributes over a certain period of time will actually begin to express those physical features that determine an organism that leans heavily toward the female gender. Or visa versa.

Pretending is a good way to test out a direction of thought before it becomes a reality. Pretending can be likened to using empathy to understand any specific curcumstance. Pretending is a powerful calculating method used by the brain in an attempt to spare the body the injuries incured by physical trials and errors.
 
  • #11
well... this is a ridiculous discussion... you are who you are, period... if u "pretend" to be who you are... you're psychotic cos you're already you... pretending to be happy and being happy are two different things, one because if u aren't happy, u can't pretend to be happy, cos it'd show... and if ur stupid enuf to laugh at ur self at pretending to be happy... well... there is just no hope... No offense meant... didn't mean to hurt anyone, mainly because... i pretend to be happy all the time, and i know what it's like to pretend ALL the time (long story, and too personal to go into detail at a forum)
Peace...
 
  • #12
Gale17 said:
can i pretend to be something i am? is it more real if I'm pretending, or just existing? if i pretend to be a girl... i think i'd probably act more girly than if i was just being me you know? but really, I'm a girl either way... or like, if i pretend to be smart, i usually come off smarter than i really am, (i mean like, actually trying to be convincingly smart, not like, "Look at me I'm smart" cause you look stupid when you do that...) or like... if i pretend I'm happy, its convincing...

pretending you're happy is an interesting thing actually... sometimes if i smile just cause i want people to think I'm happy... it actually lightens my mood, cause i feel riddiculous for smiling when i feel so crappy, and the riddiculousness of it makes me kinda laugh... which is more riddiculous... and so on...

anyways... ya...

Do you look like a girl, do you have girly feelings? if you do i bet your a GIRL
and a cracker, happiness is in the mind, come to my tea party and have a
good time.
 
  • #13
Gale17 said:
... you know? ... or like, ...(i mean like, actually ... not like, ... or like... ... and so on... anyways... ya...
And you feel the need to pretend ! ?? :eek: :biggrin:
 
  • #14
I think you're very definitely a girl. Even if you don't think you feel much like one. I've seen that you can be selfconscious about whether or not you are an attractive female. Your definition of attractive expands beyond just the physical, as it should, and you tend to think that your intelligence and tomboyishness makes you less attractive. So I'm assuming then that this concern over the reality of your femaninity has some relation to this?
Lots of girls your age that are tomboyish tend to become confused about their femaninity. My cousin was always a tomboy and hated dresses but one day she changed her mind. All the sudden she was wearing nothing but dresses. Eventually she evened out and reembraced her tomboyishness yet still wears make up and clothes that are more femanine. Her personal hitch was that she was selfconscious about the size of her breasts because she developed VERY early. She was trying to hid them and pretend like they didn't exist but eventually she came into her sexuality and that changed.
I'm not saying you have the same problems exactly that she had, just that it seems like a similar situation. No matter what you are a girl. No matter how you dress or act or even if you feel inside like you're not girly enough you will still be a girl. If you feel like you want to be more "girly" then you should go ahead and do so but don't feel as though you have to, do it only because you want to do it for your self.
I'll stop rambling now. :smile:
 
  • #15
What does it mean to be a girl? What are the attributes of girlness? What does it mean to be girly or to act girly? These seem to me like cultural assignments, and they could vary depending on your enviroment.

Happiness is different. I've often thought that happiness, for the most part, is not something that a person directly experiences directly. It's more often something a person remembers.
 

1. What are the potential benefits of pretending to be something you're not?

Some potential benefits of pretending to be something you're not include fitting in with a certain social group or gaining acceptance, achieving a certain goal or status, and gaining access to resources or opportunities that may not have otherwise been available.

2. What are the potential challenges of pretending to be something you're not?

Some potential challenges of pretending to be something you're not include feeling like you are living a lie or being inauthentic, constantly having to maintain the facade and potentially losing your sense of self, and facing consequences if the truth is revealed.

3. Is it ever okay to pretend to be something you're not?

This is a subjective question as it depends on the individual's personal values and beliefs. Some may argue that it is never okay to pretend to be something you're not as it goes against being true to oneself, while others may argue that it is a necessary survival or coping mechanism in certain situations.

4. How can pretending to be something you're not impact mental health?

Pretending to be something you're not can have negative impacts on mental health, such as causing feelings of anxiety, depression, or low self-worth. It can also lead to difficulties in forming genuine connections and relationships with others.

5. Are there any situations where pretending to be something you're not can be beneficial?

There may be certain situations where pretending to be something you're not can be beneficial, such as in a job interview or networking event where appearing confident and capable may increase your chances of success. However, it is important to consider the potential consequences and whether the benefits outweigh the challenges.

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