Well I'll start with that I have social issues. Social anxiety I guess they call it. I am "different" lol, lets say that. Yeah. *thumbs up*. Recently I have made big headway regarding this issue, but as I seem to be coming out on my own; I seem to notice things. I was pretty much quiet the majority of my life, popular, pretty good at sports and school was never hard except for that it was boring as hell at times. Slowly as I grew older I become more reclusive. I guess depressed. Let's call it a negative streak, When I anxiety escalated I need something to distract me so by age...I guess 22. I got a book on science fiction...robert sawyer, which discussed things like quantum mechanics and neurology, etc. I got hooked. Since I've been really hooked. I've always been interested in things, natural curiosity and imagination to drive it. I figured if I could understand the universe and everything in it than I would solve my problems. The more I understood the more I worked on increasing my knowledge and intelligence I saw the benefit so I hold it quite high. Today I have lost most of my gained weight, I am 5 times stronger from weightlifting and martial arts. I believe I increased my intellectual capacity, I have all the tools I want to succeed. While I was distracted this whole time I sort of ignored the rest of the world. Now that I am ready to sort of branch out and break free I look out and there are very few people I can barely relate with. Even the very few friends I have (mostly my choice) I can't even talk with them besides normal chit chat. I don't have any connection or any way to relate. People look at me like I am arrogant or something. I try to express to people intelligence only helps yourself or other survive and gives freedom. When used to make yourself feel better, it doesn't benefit you in anyway. Just a false sense of security. A large portion of people do not care about logic and reason, no desire to understand anything, and are content just to exist. Maybe it's more my desire not to be a slave to existence. Even if it's nonfactual. Which comes to my problem. For me to progress I have to be myself around people. That becomes very difficult because 1) I am already disadvantaged socially, 2) I can't relate to anyone around me. I could go out and seek people with similar mind sets but, that would reinforce my reclusive nature. So I either have to submit to my environment or go against it. The former I know will lead to unhappiness, and the latter I will be very difficult. I wish I was smarter so I could just become a scientist and lose myself in the world as an observer. Where I don't have to care about human beings at all. That's what I seem to lean towards. I just don't know anymore. It's like finding yourself and then finding out it's completely irrelevant. I've spent most my life trying to get it....now I am starring at a deserted path with nothing in sight. I know I am not leaving much to discuss but I was hoping someone out there has been in the same position or just get some opinions about it. p.s. sorry about the grammar and such, I seem to be oblivious to punctuation and spelling errors. p.s.2 As well I am not fragile so if you feel like digging into what I say I have no problem with that.I prefer brutal honesty, I think this situation requires it. However I will defend where I feel it is needed.