How would you feel if you're 21 and your parents still treat you like you're their 5 year old baby?
I guess I'd feel loved.
I could do without the cheek pinches
For some parents, you're grownup when you're 18 or 21 so they can kick you out into world and recover their lost youth.
For other parents, you're grownup when you get married.
And for those very few special parents, you're always their baby no matter what pinches ear pulls and all.
I think that when my kids are able to feel free of any real or imagined restraint from me treating them as my kids I will recognise that and be able to more easily treat them as my grown up kids. My 22 yo is kinda getting there and my 18 yo is trying. Hasn't quite figured out she doesn't need to distance herself to do that.
It would depend on if I were living on my own or not.
Mine had a lot of wisdom, in hindsight .
Mom always said "The Terrible Two's last to around 35."
Print this thread and stash it someplace you might stumble across it in twenty years .
I would love it!
Considering how much of a brat I was and the poor choices i made as a teenager, I would just be thankful that they still love me.
I would get to have naps in the middle of the afternoon
I could watch cartoons on Saturday mornings
Mom would make me breakfast, lunch, and supper
I wouldn't have to clean the house - except for maybe for keeping my room tidy
I wouldn't have to follow a schedule
What's not to love?
Not fair. I'm 19 and need permission for everything. I spend every day waiting to be told what I'm allowed to do.Including doing maths and physics. I am forbidden about talking about star wars.
Well, treating me like I'm still a little child makes me lose my manhood. I begin to think I'm inadequate to live independently. I can live independently, though.
Okay, I know my initial response was a little tongue-in-cheek, but this really begs the question. If you're having troubles with your parents respecting your independence, and can live independently - why aren't you doing it?
That sounds horrible. Why do you suppose that is?
What exactly do they do to you that makes you feel inadequate?
That's sounds pretty unfortunate. Do your parents have something against star wars?
Yeah, I also didn't like the way I felt when I was an adult, living with my parents. Fortunately, there was an easy solution.
Manhood is not given or taken by others. It is something you give to yourself.
If you're still living under your parents' roof, which seems to be the case, they're the ones who make the rules, whether or not you're 21. There's a big difference between "can live independently" and "are living independently."
Overprotective. The best parents you have though, they seem to be relaxing now. After I said when I finish my chemo I'm moving out mum's coming up with reasons I shouldn't. Including stuff like we'll get a dog! And occasionally "do what you want" which has happen only a few times in recorded history.
Prove yourself then. The only way forward.
To the OP,
Any parent who genuinely loves and cares about their children will always think of them as their child, no matter how old they become. I'm 41 years old and my parents (particularly my mother) still worry about me. And I wouldn't have it any other way.
If you become a parent yourself one day, I suspect you'll understand.
This. I'm only 25 but I've learned this by watching my grandma and how she treats my mother.
I'm nowhere close to getting married or getting a good job yet (I'm still a Ph.D. candidate), but I do feel that I am getting quite close to being an "adult." Nonetheless, I don't feel like my mother would ever stop treating me like her child anytime soon.
The definition of "being an adult" is difficult. You'll find tons of older people who are obviously immature. I don't expect a person to be mature if they have been spoiled in their youth. Meanwhile, I would dare say that even some 15 years old can be quite mentally "adult." I am sometimes amazed by how some people can be so young and yet be such an adult. A few centuries ago, 15 years old was legitimately an adult, and they were treated as one. In the end, it is not about age. It's really about what they've been through in life.
No matter how old my daughter gets, I will always view her as this little creature who had trouble getting out of a large pile of leaves I raked. While i'm sure it'll annoying her to no end when she gets older, I'm sure she'll prefer that than what my parents did. When I was merely a boy(10ish), my parents sent my brother and I to cross the Rio Grande (illegally) and find my aunt in Texas. My brother got scared half way through and returned back to Guatemala. So if the choice is between being treated like a kid or being a kid and treated like an adult...
Personally I find it somewhat pathetic that someone who is 21 is still complaining about their parents. If they bother you so much, move out and reduce contact with them. Simple.
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