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Read some body language

  1. Jun 10, 2009 #1
    I am in need of some help. I like a girl who I think likes me, however I can't seem to get to talk to her enough to actually try and read some body language. At the age of 15 I lack the experience to know how to approach such a situation. I have asked some other kids for advice who have dated before but of course they give horrible advice. The girl who I do like has a lot of other guys who like the way she looks and only that, I on the other hand have always kind of liked here before she started to look really good (I have read somewhere that usably the smarter the person the less and less looks matter). She sits next to me during my English class but I can't really find anything to say that might bring her attention to me, I had though of trying to come up with something that has to do with physics or astronomy but other course the common kid doesn't think of such things. I used to talk to her a lot in 8th grade (in 9th grade now) but that went away for some reason. I think that it might be important to note that she does look at me when I am turned away because I have good peripheral vision. Any advice that I could try out? I have 5 days left of school before summer vacation, if I plan on doing something I should try it now, I would hate to wait for next year.
     
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  3. Jun 10, 2009 #2

    lisab

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    Re: Love

    Ask her a question to get her to talk about herself.

    For example, you could ask her what she plans to do for summer. Then ask a follow-up question...so if she says, "I'm going to my grandparent's house," you could say, "Where do they live? How long will you be there? Do you get along with them? Will other cousins be there?" That sort of thing.
     
  4. Jun 10, 2009 #3
    Re: Love

    Absolutely. If she really does like you then waiting will get you nothing. By the end of summer she will have forgotten you and will even resent the fact that you did not make your move. You will have little chance after that! Go for it now and accept the results whatever they may turn out to be. Even if she says no now, she will think of you all summer and maybe you will have a chance next year.
     
  5. Jun 10, 2009 #4

    Kurdt

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    Re: Love

    Just tell her you like her.
     
  6. Jun 10, 2009 #5

    BobG

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    Re: Love

    Next time you see her, start spinning around counter-clockwise.

    When she asks you what you're doing, say "I'm spinning counter-clockwise to steal some of the angular momentum of the Earth, forcing it to slow down its rate of rotation, and delaying the end of the school year by some small fraction of a second just to extend the time I have with you."

    Bonus points if you actually calculate how much later the Sun will rise tomorrow because of your actions. Double bonus points if you know the prefix for that small of a unit of time.

    Guaranteed to get a reaction from her.

    (I'm just afraid to guarantee what that reaction will be.)
     
  7. Jun 10, 2009 #6

    cristo

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    Re: Love

    You're always so rational :tongue2: There go the chances of this thread taking 50 odd pages.

    ... cue Cyrus...
     
  8. Jun 10, 2009 #7

    Astronuc

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    Re: Love

    Have you ever said Good morning or Good afternoon to her, as in "Good morning, ~~~~~~~"?

    She'll either respond or not. If she responds in kind, just say "What's up", or "how are things going?"

    Or do as Kurdt mentioned, and tell her that you like her, but in a subtle, not too imposing way, e.g., that you miss her over the summer.

    However, using between the salutation and "I like you", there is some small talk or friendly banter.

    I used to talk with girls around me in high school and university. It was just friendly talk, since I wasn't interested in pursuing a girl for an exclusive relationship.
     
  9. Jun 10, 2009 #8

    Math Is Hard

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    Re: Love

    But give her a chance to say something between the questions, of course. :biggrin: Otherwise, the effect is quite different.
     
  10. Jun 10, 2009 #9

    lisab

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    Re: Love

    :rofl:

    Good point...or the last question would be, "Hey, where are you going?"
     
  11. Jun 10, 2009 #10

    Math Is Hard

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    :rofl: That made me snort.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2009
  12. Jun 10, 2009 #11

    neu

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    Re: Love

    You need to relax; maybe you're right and she likes you maybe not. You give the impression that you sit next to her but you don't talk to her much. If you just acknowledge her when you see her and ask how she is, she'll will acknowledge you more, then oppurtunities will arise for you to talk more.

    See if you get on, if you do, then it might be a good time to ask her out. But you have to relax and accept that you might not hit it off, just see it as a making conversation to start with as astronuc says. The rest you have to learn for yourself I'm afraid.
     
  13. Jun 10, 2009 #12
    Re: Love

    2 possible outcome:
    Either, she starts spinning in the counter-clockwise direction, which is a positive sign.
    Or, she starts spinning in the clockwise direction, which is bad.
     
  14. Jun 10, 2009 #13
    Re: Love

    Stratosphere,

    Here's my advice buddy

    1) The most important thing when courting a woman is to have confidence. This is true for several reasons. The first reason is that almost all girls are passive by nature. They want YOU to ask them out, they want YOU to be the leader in most things. So, if you don't have confidence, and girls are passive, then most likely nothing will come of it. Of course, this isn't true of all girls...a girl with a crush will give you subtle signals that she likes you (to her, these are blatantly obvious, but a guy might not realize it). For example, if she ever asks you for help with something, that's the number one signal.

    The second reason why confidence is important is because almost all girls are attracted to confidence. Perhaps this goes back to some primitive desire to have a man that can protect and defend a family. Who knows. This doesn't mean that they want you to be a cocky *******, however. You have to be nice. You have to be courteous, you have to be respectful, but at the same time they are attracted to the kind of confidence that means you know what to do when they aren't sure.

    2) The second basic thing you have to understand is that girls invest themselves very carefully. This is somewhat different from guys. A guy might observe all the girls around until he spots one that he is completely enamored with, and would be willing to do anything to win the affections of. Over time, that might change...he'll get bored of her, eventually toss her aside. For girls, it's the exact opposite. A girl will date just about anyone, and not think anything of it. She's mostly concerned with what's on the inside. Also, it's a huge confidence booster for girls to go out on dates, even if they don't really like the guy they are going out with. They might even go on several dates with one guy without caring very much about him. But if they stick around, their dedication will almost certainly continue to grow over time.

    3) Be funny. Being funny is probably the most important thing in courting a woman in my opinion. If you can get her to laugh, this causes her to loosen up, you both are smiling, it creates a connection. A joke is a special thing because it's something that the two of you share and laugh about which nobody else is involved in. This causes her to associate that feeling of entertainment with you, which is definitely good.

    What do these facts imply? A simple strategy for effectively courting women, if you think about it. First, it's irrelevant if she actually likes you or not to begin with...because girls take to decide who they like anyway! If you confidently pursue her, ask her out, she is likely to say yes even if she doesn't think much of you just to boost her own ego. This gives you personal time in which you can demonstrate the unique qualities you have to offer.

    On kissing: if you ever get to that point where you feel like, perhaps you could kiss her and she wouldn't run away, it's probably a good thing to do. There are several reasons. If you don't kiss her, then you've wimped out, and it will only be more and more difficult to work up the courage to do it next time. Also, she will likely get the impression that you are not interested. Finally, if you do kiss her, and you make it good, this really locks in your progress. You'll have no trouble arranging another meeting. And what is a good kiss? It comes back to confidence again. Don't give her a tentative little peck on the cheek. This reeks of insecurity and is a real let down. Let the passion flow, really enjoy it...and that's a good kiss.

    Oh, and at all costs do not break down and profess how you've always loved her and would do anything for her. This will spell instant doom to your future with her. Remember that girls don't work this way...they have to build up the feeling of love over many meetings, so she'll just think you are crazy and pathetic. Worse, she will get the idea that she can do better..because you are practically giving yourself away. No, you want her to feel like she's getting a real winner, someone who is worth of her greatness...and that means holding back on showing how strongly you might feel for her at the beginning.

    However, you can't just ignore her, and you have to get that first date without demeaning yourself. Girls are busy creatures so don't give up if she declines the first offer you think of to go on a date, because she probably has some other plans. But you have to not let that get you down. The next time you get an opportunity, you have to be smiling and acting as charming as ever, then just ask again...until you get it.

    Good luck
     
  15. Jun 10, 2009 #14
    Re: Love

    Well you see, I have noticed that sometimes when our eyes meet, her eyes seem to be dilated which is a good sign. At the end of 8th grade on the bus when I was alone, she started to tell me I looked "sexy", however this was all in a way that it could have been taken as she was kidding, but I highly doubt it, I still wonder what would have happened if I had played along with her, unfortunately I didn't like her then. The thing is that she has a lot of choices other than me (I suppose I have many choices too but I wouldn’t get into a relationship with a girl just because I thought she was sexy).
     
  16. Jun 10, 2009 #15

    Astronuc

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    Re: Love

    If only you had come to use sooner. Has one spoken with her before?

    Consider flowers and a card on the last day of school.

    Also, just keep it friendly for now - no pressure.
     
  17. Jun 10, 2009 #16
    Re: Love

    This sounds like the kind of advice my mother used to give me. Ah..painful memories of rejection...
     
  18. Jun 10, 2009 #17

    Astronuc

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    Re: Love

    In a case like that, all you need to say is "Thanks. And you have beautiful eyes. In fact, you look absolutely gorgeous." and just leave it at that.

    Yeah - so what. Don't be negative on oneself. Getting into a relationship because of someone's looks is quick way to hit a dead end.

    If this girl is intelligent, she might prefer a relationship with a thoughtful and intelligent young man.

    I knew girls in college who were gorgeous and had lots of choices. They were generally disappointed with those choices.
     
  19. Jun 10, 2009 #18
    Re: Love

    That's a "textbook" sign of showing interest in you. You definitely had a shot there. It doesn't mean she's still curious about you, because that was a while ago, but I would be very surprised if she turns you down.

    Also, you're 15...I know kids feel old at the age of 15, and you probably talk about sex with your friends and you probably think they are all doing it, but they're not. You don't have to have sex yet. That's disturbing and weird for kids of your age. Saying you're "sexy" doesn't mean she's ready to have sex with you, it's just her way of showing interest.

    I recommend that you invite her to go do something with you. Not a "formal" date or anything, it could be anything as simple as hanging out...although you need something to base it on. If you have a final project due in a class, asking her to come over and work on the project with you is a great one.
     
  20. Jun 10, 2009 #19
    Re: Love

    I think you should just forget about her. The fact you posted here means the whole thing has become too big an issue in your mind: it'll never work out naturally. When these things work, they happen kinda quickly and naturally, with no anguish or indecisiveness.
     
  21. Jun 10, 2009 #20
    Re: Love

    Giving up is never a good option. Even if you're right, better to let him try and fail than to just quit. Besides, he's not trying to marry her and at age 15 anguish and indecisiveness are normal. Hell, I felt that way in my early 20's. However, I don't totally disagree with your comments. I met my wife at age 30 and it was exactly as you describe - as natural as if I knew her in a previous life - I would say it was fate if I believed in that notion.
     
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