Solving Relationship Troubles: Is There Still Hope?

In summary, the young man is having difficulty controlling his attraction to other girls and fears that if he tells his girlfriend, he will lose her. He recommends dating casually until he masters his attraction to girls and resolves to be monogamous in the future.
  • #1
Julio R
51
1
I have been with my girlfriend for about a year and 7 months. I love her and feel very emotionally attached to her and her to me. But recently I have been attracted to this other girl.

I don't really talk to the other girl because I fear that if I do I'll become more attracted to her. She's also out of my league.

I told my gf about it, and we currently took a break to see if I forget the other girl, but I just can't seem to be able to. I've been attracted to other girls in the past and fear it will happen again.

Point is girls cause me trouble, they seem to be my weakness. Should I tell my girlfriend that we grew apart, or is there still some hope?
 
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  • #2
Julio R said:
I have been with my girlfriend for about a year and 7 months. I love her and feel very emotionally attached to her and her to me. But recently I have been attracted to this other girl.

I don't really talk to the other girl because I fear that if I do I'll become more attracted to her. She's also out of my league.

I told my gf about it, and we currently took a break to see if I forget the other girl, but I just can't seem to be able to. I've been attracted to other girls in the past and fear it will happen again.

Point is girls cause me trouble, they seem to be my weakness. Should I tell my girlfriend that we grew apart, or is there still some hope?
So, you don't really know the other girl? It's mostly just a physical attraction? Has this other girl given you any indication that she is interested in you romantically?

Also, since you posted this, I have to say, IMO, you aren't ready to be in a monogamous relationship. Date around until you stop having your head turned by any girl that comes along. Some people just aren't monogamous, you might be one of them.
 
  • #3
Thank you for your advice. I doubt that girl will be into me though. I'm sort off a loser I guess :banghead:
 
  • #4
Julio R said:
Thank you for your advice. I doubt that girl will be into me though. I'm sort off a loser I guess :banghead:
No, you're just like many young men that need to sow their wild oats (so to speak) until they're ready to settle down. Try dating casually for a while. I find that too many people nowadays think they have to be in committed relationships right away and it puts a lot of pressure on them.
 
  • #5
I think you should just start talking to this other girl and see what happens.. maybe you fall head over heals in love with her, and leave your girlfriend for her.. maybe you don't.. but staying with your current girlfriend just because you feel bad is worse than leaving her for another woman.

The only way you'll sort your **** out is by making mistakes or crossing lines, so give it a shot - say hi to her... maybe it'll go weird or maybe you'll pick up on something that does or does not work. Right now it's just a fantasy and if you're not able to tell the difference and stick it out with your current one, then maybe you shouldn't be with her anyways.
 
  • #6
I guess I'll give it a shot. I rather fail miserably than spend my life wondering what would have been, and not enjoy settling down. Thanks for the advice, both of you :)
 
  • #7
Now that I'm talking to her she doesn't seem interested. She takes too long to respond my messages. I think she's just being polite. I'm horrible at talking to girls :/
 
  • #8
Don't waste your time sending her messages.. just ask her to hang out.. you'll never get anywhere feeling it out over texts.
 
  • #9
I'll do that. Thank you.
 
  • #10
And if she says know then at least you know for sure and can move on :)
 

1. Can any relationship trouble be solved?

Yes, with open communication, willingness to compromise, and dedication to working through issues, most relationship troubles can be resolved.

2. How do I know if there is still hope for my relationship?

If both partners are willing to put in effort and work towards improving the relationship, there is still hope. It is important to be honest with each other and have open communication about your feelings and concerns.

3. Can outside help be beneficial for solving relationship troubles?

Yes, seeking guidance from a professional therapist or counselor can provide valuable insight and tools for improving your relationship. They can also help facilitate productive communication and address underlying issues.

4. What if one partner is not willing to work on the relationship?

In this case, it may be difficult to solve the relationship troubles. It is important to have open and honest communication with your partner about your concerns and to express the importance of working on the relationship together. If your partner is not willing to put in effort, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship and consider seeking individual therapy for yourself.

5. How long does it take to solve relationship troubles?

This varies depending on the specific issues and the efforts put in by both partners. It is important to be patient and committed to working through problems together. It may also be helpful to set realistic goals and regularly check in with each other to assess progress and make necessary adjustments.

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