Relationship with a Christian

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  • #51
russ_watters
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Is this going to start another thread? Where's the problem there? I know of at least one happily married couple where the husband is 10-11 years younger than his wife.
It depends on how old the OP is whether that matters, though it is more often seen that way if the male is older.
 
  • #52
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The age difference isn't a problem really its mostly the religious thing, but it is just another layer of complication.
 
  • #53
SamirS
If you continue to hold opinions you provided here sure you will continue to see all religious people like that :biggrin:.
Well I derive these views from the written accounts of the actual belief system; this would be, for example, the bible. Or documents from religious authority that state something is like this (for example, the pope). I observe that just about all "religious" people who are also quite liberal don't follow many of these rules, hence, I fail to see why they, on a logical (in terms of inner logic of the belief system) level, confess membership in this religion. I find the random following (not truly random, of course; I suspect it has to do with convenience) of those teachings kind of... hard to understand and dishonest to one self. Note that this does not apply to the general idea of a deist, as those can set up arbitrary rules to follow. So if we take the point that most religious people are actually "kind of religious", but identify with a religion like Christianity or Islam (which both have quite radical rules), it follows that they either don't know the actual teachings of their religion or they choose to ignore it (whereas most self-professed religious people would fall somewhere in between - that's my guess); that, on the other hand, disqualifies someone from being a follower of this religion.

If someone has actually worked out those issues they are bound to become an atheist or to follow a religion rigidly; those are the type of people that I can consider for a relationship based on their inner logic (they however disqualifiy on terms of outer logic). As, from a critical thinking point, religion fails to comform to basic logic from an outside perspective, I am an atheist. From my point of view, this follows that I can't produce propaganda for atheism, because true atheism has to be reached by conclusions based on critical thinking; one can only teach analytical and critical thinking.

Things like
- Judging that girl
See, this is why I think you are dishonest in your accusations, because you failed to either read or knowingly omitted this part:
From all the information we know about the happening (which may or may not be completely correct and honest) she, in the best case, hasn't made up her mind if she wants to be with him and compromise her religion (or leave it completely) or if she wants him to come over to her side of the story (by compromising his beliefs or by converting completely). In the worst case, she's trying to manipulate him.
Obviously, we get the information from the thread starter, which implies a certain bias. However, the "best case" is not "judging"; not having made up ones mind about basic world views is not a bad thing per se. On a personal note, I would say that any rational human never leaves this process until the end of his or her life.


- and religious people

triggered my that post.
Regarding this:
However if two people get together who are theists even of the same category, there are so many types of faiths and shades in the same belief system that can be either exploited or be a general reason for conflict that I find it mind-boggling how people put up with it.
Well, I didn't state that it will not work, did I? My only "judgment" here is that I can't understand how they get it to work, because I find it compromises their chosen belief system. Funny thing is, you omitted the part where I actually became judgemental, which is where I stated that I think she is trying to "convert" him step-by-step. I would have guessed that this part is much more inflammatory to you because it is actual, negative judging. However, from our knowledge of the situation, this is the only conclusion I reach, based on personal experience, which always ended up like this in similar circumstances. Of course this is a version of an anecdote, which is not evidence. The lack of strong evidence of what to do in such a situation leads me to judge and make a recommendation of what I think is what's happening. Based on his descriptions, both are not considering giving up their world views, but both require that from the respective person.

So basically, these two so far don't even fall into the successfull part of the relationship spectrum between believers and non-believers. As I value personal integrity over compromising a position only for love, this is my recommendation. This is heavily implied throughout all of my postings in this thread.


Not only that personal experience cannot be projected unto other people lives but also did you even mention that before to substantiate your opinions? Note: I only saw you blaming religious being used as a mean to cause separation in Balkans.
I didn't mention it, no. It should also make no difference in you judging me, otherwise your first sentence in this quote is self-contradicting. I mentioned it when it became relevant, which is when you blamed me of having no experience in this regard, only to use my confession against me, which is again self-contradictory. Make up your mind before you argue about what actually you want to argue. Arguing solely because you feel emotionally involved in either of the possible belief systems makes not a good basis for that.

The Balkans thing is part of the explanation for my disdain for religion. I have, however, as this was quite some time ago, thought my position through. See, I have long-time couples in my family made up of Serbians and Bosniaks. The point however is, they make it work despite this, not because of this. You should also note that the inner logic of a position doesn't have to be related to the outer logic. For example, there is New Age hokum that is not self-contradictory (inner logic), but is contradictory to known laws of physics (outer logic).
 
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  • #54
Evo
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This thread has become a discussion of religion rather than dating advice. Closed.
 

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