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Rime of the Physics Student

  1. Dec 2, 2004 #1
    Hello everyone,
    I wasn't quite sure which forum to fit this under so if it's the wrong one please forgive me. I recently wrote the following for my campus's humor magazine but I have a feeling like other people here will enjoy it as well. :smile:
    For the record, P121 is the physics course on my campus that all the engineering and science majors need to take (ie virtually everyone) which covers basic kinematics. Enjoy!


    It's late at night, my mind is weary
    Eyes are bloodshot, vision bleary
    I know not what I'm really thinking
    My sanity is surely winking
    Yet I stay up for I am not done
    With homework for P121.

    My mind's back from a temporary lull
    And contemplates a bouncing ball
    Then reasons shouts out, with great diction,
    "Idiot! You forgot friction!"
    So I cross out numbers written there
    And hang my head in great dispair.

    I am at a lost an panicked too
    Because I don't know what to do!
    I factor out "t", I integrate
    But the mistakes do not abate
    I feel like a failure and a fool...
    What's life like in the business school?

    But I see throught that confusing mist
    After all, I am a physicist!
    I know the movements of block and book
    Using laws from Newton and Hooke
    I know the bowling ball's energy
    Based on it's squared velocity.

    I now see myself years down the line
    Where physics glory is all mine
    The secret of dark matter I know
    Having found the neutralino
    My proof is so clear and bold
    I win myself some Swedish gold!

    But as I start my acceptance speech
    I hear a harshly ringing screech
    A startling thought to my mind does creep-
    Oh my God, I've fallen asleep!
    It's eight in the morn, not late at one
    And my damned homework's still not done!

    I stare at my paper with a frown
    And jot some garbled numbers down
    And before I can think anymore
    It's in my bag; I'm out the door
    And as I'm walking I pray my best
    That problem won't be on the test!
  2. jcsd
  3. Dec 2, 2004 #2
    aha, a challenge. I'll be back
  4. Dec 2, 2004 #3
    I'm just gonna point out its neutrino, not neutralino.

    On that subject, damn PG&E to hell for trying to stop us from hosting the neutrino experiment and trying to send it to china. DAMN DIRTY APES!! (PG&E, not the Chinese)

    Not bad poetry, though i'm sure tribdog will win the rhyme-off.
  5. Dec 2, 2004 #4
    If the rhyme off gets carried away I may have to submit one of my own uber-poems to kill both of you. o:)
  6. Dec 2, 2004 #5
    Rime of the Physics Fan

    Day after day, sometimes at night
    My eyes behold their favorite sight.
    It's blue and white with bits of grey.
    I pray it never goes away.
    I've watched it grow and watched it change
    and thanks to it, I'm not insane.

    What is this thing I'm speaking of?
    What could have captured all my love?
    I'll tell you in a few more lines,
    so stick it where no sunshine shines.
    I'll tell before this rhyme is past.
    So settle down. Or Kiss my ?

    Some years ago, say five or four
    I learned I'd love to learn some more.
    I heard a thing that wasn't right:
    "It can't be true! It's only light."
    "It can't go through both of those slits."
    "Don't lie to me, you piece of..."

    But light it seems, does things I can't.
    but neither can an elephant.
    I jumped online to learn some more,
    to find out what else was in store
    I'll tell you now, so drum some drums.
    The thing I love? Physics Forums.
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2004
  7. Dec 2, 2004 #6
    not a masterpiece, but under an hour. not bad
  8. Dec 2, 2004 #7


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    Um, I think he made up a word, for the thing he's going to discover to win the Nobel Prize in Physics. I thought it was intentional. :cool:
  9. Dec 2, 2004 #8


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    Staff: Mentor

    Ooooh, a physics RIME-OFF!!!! :tongue2: Or rhyme-off, depending on how late it is, if you've been drinking...

    Those were both really great!!!! :approve:

    Do we have another challenger??
  10. Dec 2, 2004 #9
    Hey, why must the student be a "he?" :wink:
    For the record, a neutralino is a name for a theoretical particle: a type of WIMP for those who want specifics. It's one of the canidates for the identity of cold dark matter and would be incredibly difficult to detect should they exist so it'd definetely win you the Nobel Prize should you discover them!
  11. Dec 2, 2004 #10


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    :eek: My apologies! Greetings to another female PFer! :biggrin: :smile:
  12. Dec 2, 2004 #11
    Poetry doesn't pay the bills, but physics does

    I love writing physics rhymes,
    about such things as Mersenne primes.
    Two to P then one subtracted
    seems easy, but don't get distracted.
    You could get cash. I mean a bunch.
    If you like to number crunch.
    To win the cash you must discover
    a ten million digit new prime number.
    So start crunching in a jiffy.
    If you win, could I get fifty?
  13. Dec 2, 2004 #12
    It beats studying for exams too!

    Twinkle twinkle little star
    I don't wonder what you are!
    Through spectroscopy it has been
    Derived you're made of hydrogen
    And you shine brighter then day
    Too bad you are so far away!

    Twinkle twinkle shining bright
    Glittering throughout the night
    This is caused by, I'm aware,
    Your light bending through the air
    So you shimmer when I see
    Your photons coming to me!
  14. Dec 2, 2004 #13


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    Woo hoo! It's a duel! I don't know who to cheer for. tribdog is the favorite, but I feel compelled to support my sisters in science!

    Go andromadog! :bugeye: :rofl:
  15. Dec 2, 2004 #14
    I'm gonna have to root for the won winning with science. Hoo Rah for the underdog!! Go Andromeda!!
  16. Dec 2, 2004 #15
    Ballad of a Smurf

    by Smurf

    Adromeda, so sweet and nice
    thought up a clever rhyme
    tribdog, all sour and spice
    responded with a chime

    Evo shouted, that whore,
    at the top of her voice
    let there be war!
    I must rejoice

    I gripped my pen
    and removed the cap
    forget about zen
    it's time to rap

    I started to brainstorm
    and scribbled left to right
    Ideas came in a swarm
    'till my pen ran lite

    I filled the paper
    With scribbles and scraps
    I'd have a caper
    and a bunch of traps

    All my friends
    old and new
    and of course franz
    I'd include him too

    Where to start?
    it's quite overdue
    I'm a little short
    and a little blue too

    some call me mean
    some call me evil
    but I'm really quite clean
    not even a weevil

    I may be left-wing
    I may be anti-democratic
    but soon I'll be King
    and I'll stuff you in my attic

    It's getting dark
    I'm off to my turf
    this is such a lark
    yours truely,
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2004
  17. Dec 2, 2004 #16
    3 Limericks before bed

    The people I meet here are rare.
    Take, for example, moonbear.
    An award she has won
    and we're gonna have fun
    cause I think she's a maiden most fair.

    Smurf is another I see
    and with him I never agree.
    When a blind man walks by
    he's the type of a guy
    who yells, "Hey you, Look out for that tree."

    Lastly I must mention Saint
    If he made sense I think I would faint.
    He's always so sad
    and he's bad as a dad
    He's one guy I'm glad that I ain't.
  18. Dec 2, 2004 #17
    Andromeda three two and one
    You know that we're just having fun.
    sometimes, late at night,
    we get into these fights
    and we don't stop before we see sun.
  19. Dec 2, 2004 #18
    Tonight I got quite a kick
    Now that I've been assured I'm slick
    I worked real hard
    I get along with Tribdog
    because he put me in his limerick
  20. Dec 3, 2004 #19
    I'm not making rhymes like I should
    I'd do better if only I could
    I should go to bed,
    right after I'm fed
    so good night, now give me some fhould. (lol, goodnight)
  21. Dec 3, 2004 #20
    Doesn't read right...

    Trobdog wins...

    Come one Andromeda, where are you? DOn't tell me i'm backing the wrong galaxy!!!!
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