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Rude suggestions

  1. Sep 10, 2009 #1
    "Rude" as in "inconsiderate," "suggestions" as "do as I say, not as I do."

    The one I usually hear is "You ought to get married."

    What do you hear?
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Sep 10, 2009 #2

    turbo

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    "When are you going to have children?" That was one leveled at my uncle (just a bit older than me) and his wife repeatedly by meddling family members. What made it especially hurtful was that they had tried for over 10 years to have a child until they were successful. My wife and I decided 35 years ago not to have children, and we got hammered with the same crap. We are happy, and our career-choices over the years were made far more flexible because we only had to consider one another, not children. There were times when I worked brutal shifts, times when I spent weeks at a time away, consulting for clients 1000-2000 miles distant, etc. Our marriage remained (and remains) strong. We have always tried to give our friends and relatives breaks from their own children, so they could have weekends alone. We could grab a couple of nieces and nephews at a time and treat them to weekends of games, cookouts, movie rentals, etc, and have a great time with them.

    We have extended that to the kids of a neighbor's daughter, in recent times. The girls are 4 and 6, and they love bugs, snakes, rocks, gardening, playing in the dirt, picking apples, etc. Their mother was divorced about a year ago, and moved back in with her parents with the kids. When my wife and I drop in, the kids run at us wanting hugs and bursting with news of what happened at school, and their mother and her parents do lots of stuff for us.
     
  4. Sep 10, 2009 #3

    Chi Meson

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    From non-parents, to us with three children under eight:

    "Have you tried just saying 'no'?"

    *thack*
     
  5. Sep 10, 2009 #4

    BobG

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    "Have you been in therapy?"

    During first telephone conversation with someone you're interested in dating.
     
  6. Sep 10, 2009 #5

    Astronuc

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    So how did that date go? :rofl:
     
  7. Sep 10, 2009 #6

    Moonbear

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    Three isn't bad. Are you allowed to ask that when you get a birth announcement from a couple and have lost count of how many? Is it 7 or 8? I think I lost count around 6, and certainly could not tell anyone the names of any past the first 2.

    (My personal limit on "enough is enough" is when the children outnumber the hands the parents have to hold them with...this allows some wiggle room for remarriages and unconventional relationships.)
     
  8. Sep 10, 2009 #7
    Just reading of your experience gives me hope. It is said that caring for children reminds us of our own childhood. For several years I was a "sub-dude" (substitute teacher), in a long line of schooling.

    Bob, as for therapy, I'm all over the 'net!
     
  9. Sep 10, 2009 #8

    lisab

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    My sister-in-law got the dreaded, "When are you expecting?" when she wasn't expecting anything, least of all that question.
     
  10. Sep 11, 2009 #9

    Moonbear

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    :rofl: That happened between two of my coworkers a little while back. One of them has really put on a LOT of weight since she got married, and a lot of it around her abdomen. The other one doesn't usually have reason to see her that often, and when she did see her again, jumped to the wrong conclusion about a lot of weight gain after getting married and exclaimed, "Nobody told me you were pregnant! Congratulations!" It was a little uncomfortable for both of them after that.
     
  11. Sep 11, 2009 #10

    BobG

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    Reasonably well. Well enough to be worth a couple more dates, anyway.

    Which reminds me, this pickup line has a 100% success rate. Granted, sample size is a little small.

     
  12. Sep 11, 2009 #11

    DaveC426913

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    Happened to my wife.


    My wife was a medical secretary in a hospital where high-risk pregnancies are handled. We had two teenaged kids.

    She was on a foray to another doctor’s office down the hall with a handful of charts and was accosted by a nurse saying “Oh dear, you mustn’t wander off like this! You’re a high-risk. Have you been seen yet? When are you due?”

    Virginia stammered and started to say “No, I’m not…” but was interrupted. The nurse took her by the arm and, gesturing at her belly, asked “How long has it been since you’ve felt any foetal movement?”

    My wife, regaining her composure, managed a wry grin. “Oh, about thirteen years.”

    Horror flashed over the nurse’s face, followed by suspicion and finally an apologetic smile - as she retreated down the hall to find her missing patient.
     
  13. Sep 11, 2009 #12
    was it something you said?

    hopefully the questions about STDs didn't start until at least the 2nd date.
     
  14. Sep 11, 2009 #13
    I used to have a "best friend". When I moved to the US, my girlfriend back in Europe and him slept together on several occasions. After all this was over, and a few months elapsed, I finally agreed to meet with him again, at his own insistence. The most rude suggestion I underwent came from him : "I preferred the previous one. You should stick to red hair". At first I thought I would blow up. Instead, I kept cool, I looked at him deep in the eyes and answered "I'm glad". Not that it really mattered anyway, because I have not really talked to him ever since, not even to mention meet. It's amazing how some people can change.
     
  15. Sep 11, 2009 #14

    DaveC426913

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    Wait. You mean your ex-girlfriend, right? :bugeye:
     
  16. Sep 11, 2009 #15

    Moonbear

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    :rofl: Oh, the moments you wish you could capture on film!

    Ouch! That's one of those moments when the right response just never comes to mind at the time you mean it. Something like, "Thank you so much for taking them off my hands, I thought I'd never get rid of them!" would have been so much more suitable.
     
  17. Sep 11, 2009 #16

    BobG

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  18. Sep 11, 2009 #17
    One of my bosses, having agreed to pay me over a couple of weeks for my previously volunteer work, told me afterward: "You work better when you're not paid."
     
  19. Sep 11, 2009 #18
    I get asked alot, "When are you going to get a boyfriend?" All my friends try to set me up on dates, they are complete fails, LOL
     
  20. Sep 11, 2009 #19
    It sort of annoys me when people tell me that I ought to talk more or smile more. It seems these are the few ways in which it is considered ok to tell another adult, who is not infringing upon you in anyway, how to behave.
     
  21. Sep 11, 2009 #20
    How about "are you still married"?
     
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