Sad Day

[JasonRox]

Main Question or Discussion Point

My gf and I just broke up a few hours ago.

I just got back from the gym. I wanted to like let it all out at the gym. I didn't workout hard or anything... I just wanted to go there.

This is definitely pretty hard... very hard.

So, any tips for sleeping tonight?

 

[Evo]

I'm very sorry to hear that. Nothing I can say to help, it just takes time.

 

[mattmns]

That sucks! Tips for sleeping: Couple bottles of [insert favorite drink here].

 

[JasonRox]

I wish I can drink, but I don't really drink (alcohol).

This is very very very bad for me. I never thought it could actually hurt, nor did I think it would happen. I guess it had too.

I'm thinking just staying up later until I'm tired.

I don't know how the hell I'm going to work tomorrow. I usually just think about her all day, but now I can't.

 

[Ivan Seeking]

I wish I can drink, but I don't really drink (alcohol).

This is very very very bad for me. I never thought it could actually hurt, nor did I think it would happen. I guess it had too.

I'm thinking just staying up later until I'm tired.

I don't know how the hell I'm going to work tomorrow. I usually just think about her all day, but now I can't.

Time heals all wounds. So hang in there; it's just a matter of time.

I know it's hard to believe right now, but these things almost never seem so big in retrospect as they do at the time. Consider that your frame of reference is defective at the moment.

 

[Gale]

when my fiance left me, i spent a lot of time around other guys, because i felt really unwanted, and ugly... so i felt better flirting a bit. other than that, i played guitar a little, drew pictures... just... anything to keep my mind off it.

i also posted a lot on pf, cause i post here a lot when i'm sad.

 

[The_Professional]

My gf and I just broke up a few hours ago.

I just got back from the gym. I wanted to like let it all out at the gym. I didn't workout hard or anything... I just wanted to go there.

This is definitely pretty hard... very hard.

So, any tips for sleeping tonight?

Think of all the negative things she's ever done. Heck, make a list then read it for about 20-30 times a day. That should make it less painful.

 

[JasonRox]

Think of all the negative things she's ever done. Heck, make a list then read it for about 20-30 times a day. That should make it less painful.

Sorry, I can't do something like that. I still like her and I don't like saying bad things towards ex-gf and what not.

I miss her, and like this hurts.

I watch some Jay Leno tonight because he's awesome then maybe I'll fall asleep.

Looks like the weekend is me all by myself.

Note: Probably start some math or something.

 

[Moonbear]

Sorry to hear that. Nothing really works other than time. But, in the meanwhile, I find doing really strenuous, physical things that require some degree of focus (not too much; you'll be easily distracted, so don't want to start on something that would be dangerous if your mind wandered, but just that you can put all your attention on the task and try to get it off the break-up). You already hit the gym, which is good, but then at home, there's always lots of chores that can be done...even if they don't really need doing...that's a good time to scrub the floors, or get all the windows washed, or dig out that old tree stump that's been waiting to be dug out, or scrub every last bit of burnt on crud off the stove, or clean the bathroom from top to bottom, even all the grout between the tiles, etc. That way, when it's time to go to sleep, you'll just be too physically exhausted to lie awake thinking about her.

 

[JasonRox]

Sorry to hear that. Nothing really works other than time. But, in the meanwhile, I find doing really strenuous, physical things that require some degree of focus (not too much; you'll be easily distracted, so don't want to start on something that would be dangerous if your mind wandered, but just that you can put all your attention on the task and try to get it off the break-up). You already hit the gym, which is good, but then at home, there's always lots of chores that can be done...even if they don't really need doing...that's a good time to scrub the floors, or get all the windows washed, or dig out that old tree stump that's been waiting to be dug out, or scrub every last bit of burnt on crud off the stove, or clean the bathroom from top to bottom, even all the grout between the tiles, etc. That way, when it's time to go to sleep, you'll just be too physically exhausted to lie awake thinking about her.

I totally agree. I went to the gym and these guys invited me to play basketball and I practically forgot.

I didn't do too much, like you said. I don't know if I can do too much cleaning because I like to train really close to overtraining because you get good results that way. It's dangerous though... I got sick like twice already. I turned it down a notch now, so it's like safer. Funny though.

Like for the next week it will be hard to...

Work
Listen to Music
Eat anything related to girlfriend.

Well, hard in general.

I never really cried in my life, so yeah this is hard.

Note: The sad part is... she doesn't know if she wants a break up or not. She basically dumped me because she's a ***** to me sometimes, but that's because she's stressed out. I explained how that's not too often and when it happens it's very short, and I'm there to support her and stuff. At the end of the conversation, she started thinking again and then she was thinking that maybe she shouldn't have broke up with me.

She thought it was getting too serious, and then I agreed. I explained to her how I had plans to go out with just me and friend... then on a camping trip to leave space between. Then she realized that I was just trying to ease things up... also another reason why she started re-thinking.

I don't want her going around thinking she made a big mistake or anything. I want her to be good.

That's life... whether you like it or not.

I hope she still e-mails me in a few weeks.

 

[Moonbear]

Breakups that you don't expect are always the hardest. You just feel blind-sided by it on top of everything else, plus it means you still have all the feelings for her that you don't want to be broken up. It's a lot easier when there's a decline in the relationship and you both know it's coming, and just a matter of one person having the guts to speak up and say it's time to call it quits.

That was good of the guys at the gym to pick up a game of basketball with you. They must have been through it themselves to know what you needed.

I guess at work, just resolve to immerse yourself in it as much as you can.

 

[JasonRox]

I guess at work, just resolve to immerse yourself in it as much as you can.

I hate my boss, so I never do more than the very little that I do.

That's what he gets for being a cheap ass.

Thanks for the support and everything.

Time will heal... I hope.

 

[Smurf]

I'm sorry man, I broke up with my girl a few weeks ago.

Almost over it by now almost.

Stay happy man.

 

[Astronuc]

My gf and I just broke up a few hours ago.

This is definitely pretty hard... very hard.

So, any tips for sleeping tonight?

Sorry to hear that Jason. Evo, Moonbear and Ivan pretty much covered it, so I can't really add anything. Keep the chin up.

 

[The_Professional]

Sorry, I can't do something like that. I still like her and I don't like saying bad things towards ex-gf and what not.

I said write in a paper. That's different from badmouthing her to people which I never recommend. Good luck.

 

[Smurf]

I said write in a paper. That's different from badmouthing her to people which I never recommend. Good luck.

I tried a similar technique, didn't really help me much. But if it works for you I guess it's worth a try for anyone.

 

[zoobyshoe]

I don't know how the hell I'm going to work tomorrow. I usually just think about her all day, but now I can't.

If it's possible, tell people as soon as you get there, that you don't expect to be your usual self today because of the breakup. It'll be easier to get through the day if you don't feel obliged to act like everything's perfectly normal for you.

 

[JasonRox]

If it's possible, tell people as soon as you get there, that you don't expect to be your usual self today because of the breakup. It'll be easier to get through the day if you don't feel obliged to act like everything's perfectly normal for you.

Someone that I will be working with tomorrow already knows, so I guess that's a step.

So... this is me in the middle of the night. It gets worse when I start thinking about how she started regretting the break-up, within an hour of the decision. That hurts... it's like tossing up an idea without giving it much thought, and like crushing not only someone else, but yourself.

 

[zoobyshoe]

Here's a thread to read that may give some insight in to the thought processes of psycho/mind changing women:

Address:http://www.discussanything.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76909

 

[JasonRox]

Here's a thread to read that may give some insight in to the thought processes of psycho/mind changing women:

Address:http://www.discussanything.com/forums/showthread.php?t=76909

Well, it didn't really help. All that said was that I might have been too nice, which my gf did say. Then she started acting like a ***** after awhile... I hope it's not intentional.

We were together a lot, but that's what she wanted. If we talked on the phone for a long, then I'd be like it's too late to come over now... then she be like, but I want to see you and start feeling really bad. I don't know... I'm just really confused. I also worked 2 evening shifts a week, so she had atleast 2 nights a week to herself, sometimes an entire day. She didn't even like the fact that we didn't talk on those days and she would ask me to call her late after work and everything. Very confusing.

Note: I tend to avoid comparing girls because they don't all do the same thing.

My question is...

Should guys actually be nice?

 

[Danger]

If you're inclined toward fiction writing, this would be the perfect time to get going on a book or short stories. My best writing always came when I was hurting. The only regret that I have about being on the meds now is that I haven't been able to write a word since.
Sorry to hear about it, but you seem to be taking it far better than a lot of people would. Although it might be the first time that you've experienced this, it won't be the last. Every time will be a little harder too, because every time you'll be more convinced that you've found the right partner. In another sense, it will be a little easier because you've had practise at it. Just hang in there.

 

[JasonRox]

If you're inclined toward fiction writing, this would be the perfect time to get going on a book or short stories. My best writing always came when I was hurting. The only regret that I have about being on the meds now is that I haven't been able to write a word since.
Sorry to hear about it, but you seem to be taking it far better than a lot of people would. Although it might be the first time that you've experienced this, it won't be the last. Every time will be a little harder too, because every time you'll be more convinced that you've found the right partner. In another sense, it will be a little easier because you've had practise at it. Just hang in there.

Yeah, it pretty much is the first time. I had other girls, but none of them that I really liked. This one was special, but I didn't think she was the "one" or anything. It just seemed like we hung out and had fun, you know.

Then bam... it's over.

It's getting better though.

 

[Danger]

This one was special, but I didn't think she was the "one" or anything. It just seemed like we hung out and had fun, you know.

In that case, continue as you are doing and keep the friendship alive. Whatever it is that put you together in the first place is still valid. Just drop the sex part out of the equation and carry on doing non-romantic stuff with her on a casual basis.

 

[JasonRox]

In that case, continue as you are doing and keep the friendship alive. Whatever it is that put you together in the first place is still valid. Just drop the sex part out of the equation and carry on doing non-romantic stuff with her on a casual basis.

Those are the intentions, but for now there is a break. I told her that the worst part... being pretty far apart... would be not seeing her ever again.

She said she will call in a few weeks (3 weeks maybe), by e-mailing the day before, so I get a notice.

I really hope she does.

 

[Dr.Brain]

Start thinking about all the scary things that could have happened to you if you had married her.

BJ