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Sad news, friends;

  1. Oct 13, 2006 #1

    Danger

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    This will probably once and for all put an end to my comedy badge. You might have noticed that I was missing today, until the wee hours. We got a call at 11:30 last night. Our niece's son was born at 24 weeks, 2 weeks ago. Things looked semi-promising until last night. Nothing could really be done other than by purely mechanical methods, and he would have suffered irrevocable oxygen-starvation brain damage had he survived. He was pronounced at 4:00 this afternoon. I still can't believe that a 0.9kg baby could be so... person-shaped. He was about the size of a pound of butter.
    I illegally drove for 3 hours to get to the hospital in Edmonton (I don't have a licence, but W was too distraught to do it). A couple of hours of vigil... managed an hour or two of sleep on a lounge couch, then another dozen hours of vigil; then pronouncement, then to a different niece's house for a family gathering, then 3 hours of illegal driving back home. Both of us have to work in the morning. ( I don't have to, but my boss covered my shift yesterday with a couple of hours notice, and I told her that I'll be there today... tomorrow... whatever... I'm the only employee, so that was a stretch). W is absolutely devestated, especially since she lost a grand-daughter about a year and a half ago under similar circumstances (I've been with her a year), and almost lost a grandson a few months ago.
    There are obviously different levels of relationships on this site, so it's hard to single out what 'friendship' means... particularly when you really don't know the people that you're dealing with. In my case, I have far more friends than I deserve. If I omit anyone, it's either an oversight, or a deliberate slight because I don't like you :tongue: . This is not in order of 'importance'. Astro, Evo, Moonbear, Brewski, Artman, Yomamma, Huck, MK, (special Lisa!), Hypatia, Fred, Integral, Ivan and Tsu, Vickie (wherever she went {icvotria}), Berkeman, NoTime, Clausius, (big MARLON), Dave with the unmemorizeable digits following it, Arildno, Zoobie, Woolie & Kia, heman, (Russ and the penguin, but I don't know why), DocToxyn, ZZ (even though I have no interest in anything Disney)...
    Okay, I've dropped 6 Keith's since I got home, just to be able to get to sleep.
    There is a very special thank-you to a lady (going by username) that I've never met until tonight, and she brought me back to a bright outlook that wasn't here when I logged on tonight... rhuthwaite16. Now leave me alone and let me sleep. :tongue:

    And I really will go over that list when I sober up (sometime tomorrow... or today... or whatever... maybe next week:) I do apologize to anyone that I missed.

    But, of course, I now have to backtrack and see what this new evil wench has done since I started composing this. Assuming, of course, that I can still read.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2006
  2. jcsd
  3. Oct 13, 2006 #2

    arildno

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    Dearly Missed

    I feel for all of you.
     
  4. Oct 13, 2006 #3
    Hey man,

    Indeed, that is some very sad news. I really wish a lot of strength to you and your family (especially the parents).

    For what it is worth, every friend you have in this place is one that you deserve. Really, man, you are an honest and inspiring personality. I am not just saying this to throw some nice words at you. This is my honest opinion.

    Keep it up man, we are all there to support you as much as we can.

    regards
    marlon
     
  5. Oct 13, 2006 #4

    Danger

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    Thanks, pal. Luckily, the evil wench is off-line now, so I can go to bed. :biggrin:
    I appreciate your support, Arildno. (Not to say that I'll overlook any opportunity to razz you in the future.. :uhh: )

    Seriously, though... thank you.
     
  6. Oct 13, 2006 #5

    Danger

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    Hey, Marlon;
    I guess you posted that while I was composing the response to Arildno, becuase I just saw it now. You flatter me, as always... but I know that you're sincere in your support. It means a lot to me. Thank you, my friend. I just wish that W could get over the idea that everyone on this site is a 1-900 number or a terrorist looking for doomsday device plans. I'm going to make her sit down and read this thread.
     
  7. Oct 13, 2006 #6

    ZapperZ

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    Condolences to you and your family.

    And thanks for having me on that list, inspite of my Disney addiction. Hey, that's a thought. You could show your W my Disney thread. Then she wouldn't think of people on here as 1-900 cruizers or terrorists.....

    On second thought, that might not be such a good idea either after she sees how bad it is....:uhh:

    Zz.
     
  8. Oct 13, 2006 #7

    Danger

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    Strangely enough, ZZ, I had planned to contact you and Moonbear privately a couple of months ago. W's daughter and her family, along with the daughter's neighbours and the infamous W herself, were planning a trip to Disney World in December. I thought that it would be great if you could meet them and be tour guides. (I can't cross the border, due to the previously mentioned legal difficulties.) Unfortunately, the plans fell through. If they had the chance to go, I would have been confident in their welfare with you on board. Maybe next year...
    And you're on the list because you, like many of the others on there, have always been what I consider the epitome of a great teacher. Your posts (those that I can understand) have educated me, and at the same time you have encouraged my own (usually flawed) contributions with gentle guidance. While I'm extremely proud to consider myself something of an educator here, I learn far more than I can teach. Guys like you inspire guys like me to try.
     
  9. Oct 13, 2006 #8

    Astronuc

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    Danger, I just read the sad news, and my heart goes to you, W and family. It is certainly very painful to lose a little one.

    You and W are in my thoughts.
     
  10. Oct 13, 2006 #9

    turbo

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    Hang tight, Danger, and be there for W. I'm sorry for your loss.
     
  11. Oct 13, 2006 #10
    Sorry Danger.

    It's sad to know that things happen that even sheep jokes can't help. Look for strength in your friends and family and let them find it in you.
     
  12. Oct 13, 2006 #11
    Sorry to hear of your loss Danger, that is very very sad news.
     
  13. Oct 13, 2006 #12
    Nothing in the world can leave us feeling as helpless, then the loss of a child. I am so sorry for your family. Thoughts and prayers are with you, my friend.
     
  14. Oct 13, 2006 #13

    brewnog

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    Sorry to hear that matey, hang in there and make sure you're around for the family. But you know all that. Anything we can do...


    I'm seeing icvotria on Sunday, will tell her you remembered her.
     
  15. Oct 13, 2006 #14

    DaveC426913

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    I am very sorry to hear about your loss. My thoughts are with you.

    If you need anything, Mrs. DaveC is a Perinatal Bereavement Counsellor (here in Ontario) and may be able to provide some resources for you and yours.
     
  16. Oct 13, 2006 #15

    Moonbear

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    I just read this post Danger. So sorry to hear of the loss. What a tough ordeal to go through. I know it's hard to find anything positive in something like this, but the showing of support for your niece with all the relatives gathering at a moment's notice really shows the strength of the love in your family.

    I know now is not the time yet to discuss this with the nieces, but something to keep in the back of your mind that maybe you or W can bring up to them later. If there is a family pattern to pre-term labor (or miscarriages late in pregnancy...24 weeks is such a fine line between a premature birth and a miscarriage), they should discuss this with their OBs and see if there's something in common predisposing them to this that can either be prevented if the OB knows to watch for it, or that they can be counseled about how likely it is to happen again on a later pregnancy. It might make the difference between them deciding to try again after such a painful experience, or deciding to adopt another child in need of a loving family. It's too soon to discuss that with them now, but when their mourning time is over and they're starting to contemplate whether to try again, that's when it's time to bring it up.
     
  17. Oct 13, 2006 #16

    Danger

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    How on Earth could I have forgotten SOS? Sorry, sweetie.
    Thanks, Moonbear. While I appreciate the insight, it isn't applicable here. The mother is an adoptee, and the previous grand-daughter incident involved a full-term infant who contracted salmonella at a couple of months and was mis-diagnosed. We still don't know what's going on with the grandson, but he was also fully developed at birth.
    Dave, thanks for the offer. I'm okay, and the rest of the family is kind of... unusual. I'll keep it in mind if the need arises, but I'm an outsider to that side of the clan. So is the father, though, so we're there for each other.
    To the rest of you... Turbo, Scorpa, and anyone else that I've still overlooked (and I'll keep thinking on it), thank you as well for being there.
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2006
  18. Oct 13, 2006 #17

    Integral

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    Sorry for your loss Danger.

    Why is it that such tragedies seem to come in groups. For us the last year has seen the loss of my father in law and 2 pets. I hope the pets count, if not then I am waiting for the other shoe to fall!

    For me it was the '60s, between '61 and '75 I lost all of my grandparents, my father and a sister.
     
  19. Oct 13, 2006 #18

    BobG

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    I'm really sorry about your loss. That's just so much anticipation to have things end badly.
     
  20. Oct 13, 2006 #19
    I feel for you and your loved ones, Danger.

    I'm no stranger to the loss of loved ones. Mom died in 98 (when I was 16) and dad in 01.

    My heart goes out to you.
     
  21. Oct 13, 2006 #20
    I'm so sorry for your loss
    Bad things happen to the best people
     
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