Collection of Science Jokes P2

[DennisN]

My knowledge of general relativity is so immense* that it has collapsed into a black hole inside my brain. The knowledge density may be infinite at the singularity, but since the knowledge can't get out of the hole, I can't access it with the rest of my brain.

* It's not.

 

[Klystron]

I must say that learning the fluid dynamics of flight didn't actually convince me it wasn't magic...

Paraphrasing Arthur C. Clark, "Technology, sufficiently advanced, is indistinguishable from magic.

 

[Ibix]

Paraphrasing Arthur C. Clark, "Technology, sufficiently advanced, is indistinguishable from magic.

The corollary: science that is distinguishable from magic is insufficiently advanced.

 

[jack action]

 

[Baluncore]

I'd give my right arm for a parboiled chicken right now.
Try to avoid overcooking your hand.

 

[DrGreg]

I'd give my right arm for a parboiled chicken right now.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

 

[Borg]

When someone asks if I'm alright, I say "no, I'm half left".

 

[fresh_42]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 239323

Ok now tell us what you want ... (and then sleep normally ...)

 

[jim mcnamara]

Randall Munroe must have seen a lot of homework help threads here on PF.

PS: the .NORM file format is not one we like here at PF.

 

[Baluncore]

Which is why I use the freeware OCR Capture2Text program.
"
I SENT YOU THE DATA.
THP\N\K5!

...TH|S I5 A UORD DOCUMENT
CONWNING AN EMBEDDED PHOTO
YOU TOOK OF YOUR SCREEN
UITH THE 5PREPvD5l‘EET OPEN.

YEAH? DOES YOUR COMPUTER
NOT SUPPORT .NORI’l FILES?
YIHYBE YOU NEED TO UPDATE.

L.

SINCE EVERYONE SENDS STUFF THIS
LJPIY ANYUHY, UE SHOULD JUST
FORVIHUZE IT A5 A SI?-\NDF\RD.
"

 

[DrClaude]

Randall Munroe must have seen a lot of homework help threads here on PF.

View attachment 239397

PS: the .NORM file format is not one we like here at PF.

Actually, this could apply to many of the jokes posted here or in the lame jokes thread, where a text-only joke is posted as an image.

 

[fresh_42]

Which is why I use the freeware OCR Capture2Text program.
"
I SENT YOU THE DATA.
THP\N\K5!

...TH|S I5 A UORD DOCUMENT
CONWNING AN EMBEDDED PHOTO
YOU TOOK OF YOUR SCREEN
UITH THE 5PREPvD5l‘EET OPEN.

YEAH? DOES YOUR COMPUTER
NOT SUPPORT .NORI’l FILES?
YIHYBE YOU NEED TO UPDATE.

L.

SINCE EVERYONE SENDS STUFF THIS
LJPIY ANYUHY, UE SHOULD JUST
FORVIHUZE IT A5 A SI?-\NDF\RD.
"

This reminds me of a fellow student who was interested in someone's paper for his thesis. So he wrote him and kindly asked for a copy. Well, of course he received a copy. Unfortunately, however, in Chinese.

 

[Ibix]

Actually, this could apply to many of the jokes posted here or in the lame jokes thread, where a text-only joke is posted as an image.

The XScreensaver used to have a module that pulled random images from the web and displayed them as the screensaver (it used safe search!). There was a note from the author, Jamie Zawinski, noting that some huge fraction of the images it pulled were text (often corporate logos).

 

[DrClaude]

A couple of examples from this thread: #987 #994

 

[fresh_42]

A couple of examples from this thread: #987 #994

I needed the screenshot as reference to data! I will not type in a wall of xml tags.

 

[davenn]

View attachment 239323

I have been through that twice and from personal experience, sleeping normally is impossible

 

[DennisN]

Did you hear about the scarecrow who became a famous scientist?
He was outstanding in his field.

 

[DennisN]

View attachment 239297​

Gosh, that made me laugh so good. One of the funniest physics questions I have seen.

 

[DennisN]

 

[DennisN]

Some jokes on flat Earth stuff:

(all from The Internet Can’t Stop Trolling Flat-Earthers With 38 Hilarious Memes (Bored Panda) where there are more funny memes)

 

[davenn]

Some jokes on flat Earth stuff:

View attachment 239410

View attachment 239411

View attachment 239412

View attachment 239413

(all from The Internet Can’t Stop Trolling Flat-Earthers With 38 Hilarious Memes (Bored Panda) where there are more funny memes)

love them :)

 

[DrClaude]

View attachment 239410

Yeah, Pluto's not a planet

View attachment 239411

That one is definitely incorrect. Everyone know that it's turtles all the way down.

 

[mjc123]

Err... shouldn't the flat Earth be at the centre of the solar (sorry, terrestrial) system?

 

[DrClaude]

Err... shouldn't the flat Earth be at the centre of the solar (sorry, terrestrial) system?

No, that's just a conspiracy of the Catholic Church.

 

[fresh_42]

No, that's just a conspiracy of the Catholic Church.

Ptolemy was a Catholic?

 

[DrClaude]

Ptolemy was a Catholic?

Yes (although a secret one)

 

[davenn]

Yes (although a secret one)

well I never knew

this belongs in the "today I learned" thread

 

[nuuskur]

View attachment 239409

Is the answer to the last question 0?

 

[jack action]

 

[DrGreg]

If if takes 5 men one hour to build a wall, how long does it take 10 men to build the same wall?

Spoiler

No time at all. The 5 men have already built it.

 

[collinsmark]

Differentiation and Integration


(Source: https://www.xkcd.com/2117/)

 

[jim mcnamara]

Sign in a bookshop:
“Post-apocalyptic fiction has been moved to our current affairs section”
-Kurt Brindley

 

[jack action]

 

[Stavros Kiri]

View attachment 239409

Can we generalize this for Madonna?