Sex obsession

  • #1
I know now I truely have a sex obsession. There is a bag lady that comes around collecting cans and bottles other people discard, for the refunds. What many people would call a bag lady or outcast from normal society. It's her only job as far as I can tell. Actually she must have been a real looker when young. Now she's in her sixties like me. Blonde and dresses nice I told her she's an aged Lady Gaga. I work at this place and when she comes around I can't help from going over to her with other thoughts in mind. I would never want to hurt my wife by cheating but this is just about overpowering.
 
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Answers and Replies

  • #2
256bits
Gold Member
3,576
1,619
Could be you are overly sympahthetic and your empathic drive is twisting it into a sexual thing, if that is what you mean by other thoughts.
 
  • #3
1,565
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Sounds like someone needs a hobby.
 
  • #4
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I know now I truely have a sex obsession. There is a bag lady that comes around collecting cans and bottles other people discard, for the refunds. What many people would call a bag lady or outcast from normal society. It's her only job as far as I can tell. Actually she must have been a real looker when young. Now she's in her sixties like me. Blonde and dresses nice I told her she's an aged Lady Gaga. I work at this place and when she comes around I can't help from going over to her with other thoughts in mind. I would never want to hurt my wife by cheating but this is just about overpowering.


Please don't do this.Just think about your wife.How would you feel if she did something like this to you.If you do this her heart will break forever and she can even die from the shock.How can you love another woman more than your wife?
 
  • #5
DaveC426913
Gold Member
20,698
4,169
Can you not have sex with your wife? No one said you have to have your eyes open while having sex.

Seriously, if it were simply a sex obsession, your wife is right there. Since that doesn't seem to be an acceptable option, there's more to this story. Spill.
 
  • #6
1,803
787
People still have sex when they're 60?!
 
  • #7
chiro
Science Advisor
4,797
133
People still have sex when they're 60?!

Don't have a heart attack on us now!
 
  • #8
26
0
You have a wife and you have an imagination. What's the problem?
 
  • #9
'Please don't do this.Just think about your wife.How would you feel if she did something like this to you.If you do this her heart will break forever and she can even die from the shock.How can you love another woman more than your wife?'

Thanks! That's just what I do. Her feelings are everything to me. But if you know something about an obsession you know it's overpowering. It's something deeply rooted. Preservation of the species. It's not a matter of should I play golf or tennis today? At my age I've gained an appreciation for people and their feelings. I told the bag lady that if I wasn't married I'd gladly hook up but now it's just not fair to all concerned. I wondered how twisted Bill was getting and how that could affect his job when he was doin Monica. Or JFK. And they're running the world! Mind constantly flitting between work and the one you want-all day every day. You can't turn it off! You're living a double life in secret. Tryin to meet up. And now it's Herman Cain and his paramore for 14 years but they were just friends he says. And just in case anyone thinks they are above falling into an affair that's laughable. All it takes for that preservation of species drive to take over is for two people to be around each other every day for a while. Marriage is just a concept an idea but sex drive is much more real. Like two chemicals put together, in time a reaction starts to take place and grows until it's burning hot.
 
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  • #10
Don't have a heart attack on us now!

Yeah! I've already had a good one years ago! I just won't get that Viagra Rx filled. I never thought I would need it. And I may be right because if an attractive woman starts getting close and chatting it up I start to get up. And it only stands to reason like anything else a once great song after a while fails to inspire. Someone said 'After you hear all Chopin's music you find yourself saying Okay what's next?'
 
  • #11
People still have sex when they're 60?!

Well they still think about it a lot.
 
  • #12
Can you not have sex with your wife? No one said you have to have your eyes open while having sex.

Seriously, if it were simply a sex obsession, your wife is right there. Since that doesn't seem to be an acceptable option, there's more to this story. Spill.

I need male enhancement. She is really dry and won't use KY jelly. She won't let me touch anything but her breasts and comes to bed wearing a full length nightgown pulled tight around the neck. I see your point so there's more than just sex drive going on somehow. It's the attraction of someone new also. I fully believe women as well as men are the same in this regard. We always hear about men cheating as if women don't and aren't tempted. Right! But Signfeld said 'women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.' LOL!
 
  • #14
26
0
Where would we be without our obsessions? They are like the dry desert that abruptly ends at the cliff; we look over the edge, thirsty, searching for water. But before we jump to our demise, maybe we should try our canteen.
 
  • #15
137
1
WOW. Things must be bad if you're spending all day fantasizing about a bag lady... she's probably homeless, and unclean and might have some mental disorders.

If you're seriously that desperate you might as well at least go get a young prostitute, there's no way this "bag lady" can be even remotely attractive to anyone. I think you just see her as someone disposable and someone you could have an affair with and then discard the second you need to.
 
  • #16
DaveC426913
Gold Member
20,698
4,169
WOW. Things must be bad if you're spending all day fantasizing about a bag lady... she's probably homeless, and unclean and might have some mental disorders.

If you're seriously that desperate you might as well at least go get a young prostitute, there's no way this "bag lady" can be even remotely attractive to anyone. I think you just see her as someone disposable and someone you could have an affair with and then discard the second you need to.

This is all highly presumptuous.

The only evidence you have of what this person is like is from the OP. Stick to that.
 
  • #17
6,361
1,284
Here's a story young people need to hear:

Guy's interviewing the local 100 year old man, asking him questions about how he made it to that age, etc. Then he asks him, "So, at what age does a person stop thinking about sex?"

The 100 year old man says, "Well, I'll keep an eye out for it and let you know."
 
  • #18
27
0
'Please don't do this.Just think about your wife.How would you feel if she did something like this to you.If you do this her heart will break forever and she can even die from the shock.How can you love another woman more than your wife?'

Thanks! That's just what I do. Her feelings are everything to me. But if you know something about an obsession you know it's overpowering. It's something deeply rooted. Preservation of the species. It's not a matter of should I play golf or tennis today? At my age I've gained an appreciation for people and their feelings. I told the bag lady that if I wasn't married I'd gladly hook up but now it's just not fair to all concerned. I wondered how twisted Bill was getting and how that could affect his job when he was doin Monica. Or JFK. And they're running the world! Mind constantly flitting between work and the one you want-all day every day. You can't turn it off! You're living a double life in secret. Tryin to meet up. And now it's Herman Cain and his paramore for 14 years but they were just friends he says. And just in case anyone thinks they are above falling into an affair that's laughable. All it takes for that preservation of species drive to take over is for two people to be around each other every day for a while. Marriage is just a concept an idea but sex drive is much more real. Like two chemicals put together, in time a reaction starts to take place and grows until it's burning hot.


I know how bad and damaging an obsession can be.And the famous people you are talking about having an affair,why do you even bother.If you do something like them what's the difference between you and them,what sets you apart from them?

If you go on with that woman your wife will never forgive you.She trusted you,loved you her whole life and now you are going to sleep with another woman.Does this look right to you?

You can turn this off.It's like a mental germ.And now you are very badly attacked by it.Fight it with very very strong will.For the will power think about your past life;the time when you met your wife,the first time when she sat beside you,touched you,made love with you,when you together went through difficult times helping each other,protecting your family.Above all ask for help to God from the deepest of your mind and heart.Go to the church(or to your own praying place if you are from another religion) and pray deeply not just Sunday but everyday to solve this.You may think about this as a waste of your time if you are a non-believer in God(Not offensive).But please give God a chance,if you really pray from your heart and love your wife dearly I am very very sure he will help you.

Ask God to take the thoughts of that woman away from your mind and create more love than ever among you and wife.Please do this.
 
  • #19
DaveC426913
Gold Member
20,698
4,169
Ask God to

Well since, as they say, God helps those who help themselves, let's concentrate on him helping himself.
 
  • #20
widereader
I know now I truely have a sex obsession. There is a bag lady that comes around collecting cans and bottles other people discard, for the refunds. What many people would call a bag lady or outcast from normal society. It's her only job as far as I can tell. Actually she must have been a real looker when young. Now she's in her sixties like me. Blonde and dresses nice I told her she's an aged Lady Gaga. I work at this place and when she comes around I can't help from going over to her with other thoughts in mind. I would never want to hurt my wife by cheating but this is just about overpowering.


There really comes a point in a person's life where one feels feelings of sexuality that is overpowering. However, it is sad that you would have felt this other than with your wife. However, remember that you have vowed that you will forever be faithful with your wife til the death do you part.
 
  • #21
246
1
I hate to say this but quite a number of women who are older would quite frankly rather their husband have a casual physical relation with someone else because the wife has issues, UT infections. hormone problems, a mother who hated sex and so on, so she really doesn't want to have sex. So what are the options of a faithful husband? First of all if your wife won't talk about it you need to see if she won't go to a counselor, by herself perhaps, to see what the issue is. Some older men are not careful with grooming, they have let their appearance go, smell bad and look bad. This can be fixed. But you seriously need to talk about sex with your wife. If she has a physical problem that really is not repairable with hormones or whatever, there are alternatives.

Good grief yes people 60 and over still have sex - hot passionate sex. When you're old, you aren't old in your mind and if you married someone you are crazy about, why should you not still be attracted to them.

Ask yourself when was the last time your wife actually showed interest in having sex? Is she ashamed of how she looks? This can be handled. It's just such a shame it got this far but it can be fixed and you really need to find a way to reignite the flames with the person you fell in love with. Start by being sure you are as well groomed and as attractive as you can possibly be and take things slow. Woo her again like you did when you were young. Make her feel special, attractive, desirable. You can do it. Good luck. And a dimmer on the lights and candle light do work wonders. Not too much alcohol though.
 
  • #22
You have a wife and you have an imagination. What's the problem?

couldn't have said it better. I'm always obsessed with sex, always have it in the back of my head, specially if I'm inlove. and obsessions are overpowering yes. but I guess we all do our best to live with them. what I find curious Tregg Smith, is that at your age you seem shocked by these feelings you have. I don't mean that in any disrespectful way, I just think it's funny to me how sex is a topic that's a different world for every person and how it changes for each individual with age.

I'm still a young girl, but menopause has been explained to me by many older women. aside from other characteristics, a lot of women loose all interest in sex and become frigid. I'm just saying! your wife doesn't necessarily need therapy, but netgypsy's comment about how some women would quite frankly rather their husband have a casual physical relation with someone else, for whatever reason they have, is spot on from what I've heard.

before anyone bites my jugular: no, I'm not suggesting you should cheat on your wife.
 
  • #23
246
1
On the average, once an older woman has dealt with menopause her sex drive is much stronger than it was as a young woman for several reasons. She no longer has to deal with unwanted pregnancy, she knows what she likes and she's not shy about being the aggressor. So if you are an older guy whose wife is lacking interest in sex you really need to find out why and once her physical or emotional problem is solved, woo her like you would a 25 year old you are really captivated by. DON'T give up on her yet. (In case for some reason you don't know it, men are always obsessed with sex and probably always will be.)

By the way - testosterone is prescribed for women and our older ladies say it is amazing. Not only because your interest in sex increases but you just feel so much better.
 
  • #24
DaveC426913
Gold Member
20,698
4,169
On the average, once an older woman has dealt with menopause her sex drive is much stronger than it was as a young woman for several reasons. She no longer has to deal with unwanted pregnancy, she knows what she likes and she's not shy about being the aggressor. So if you are an older guy whose wife is lacking interest in sex you really need to find out why and once her physical or emotional problem is solved,

Really? What you just said is that an older woman who lacks an interest in sex has a physical or emotional problem that needs to be fixed.

Really you meant to say that?
 
  • #25
1,681
3
Tregg, in addition to making things better between you and your wife it's time to grow some hair on your palms.

Most boilers have a little valve that opens up to relieve pressure and prevent a dangerous explosion.
 
  • #26
246
1
Dave this is assuming she did find her husband physically attractive once upon a time. If she married him for his money or his mind that's another thing altogether. Our family's older ladies say their spouses are much hotter today than they were in their 20's or 30's.

So yes I meant to say that is true if her spouse is still attractive to her because he makes the effort to be attractive to her (and of course it goes both ways - those pink curlers are not a turnon).

If she has serious illness of course she needs to get well first but it's not a given that older women aren't interested in sex. They may not be interested in sex with their husbands who lack good grooming and have forgotten the little things that keep a marriage interesting.

A talk show host was discussing a recipe for "better than sex" cake - I think I mentioned this before - and he said "People if you think cake is better than sex, you are with the WRONG PERSON." AMEN Brother!
 
  • #27
the consequences of menopause are different for every woman, physically and/or emotionally. it's a big mess of hormonal change. their libido can go either way and everything in between.

a man should be aware of this going into a marriage, just like the changes that may come after a pregnancy, if only to avoid shock. and that's just sex drive, without getting into mood or even personality changes. there may not be any change at all! how's a husband to deal with this? no clue. I've seen menopause put a big strain on relationships, and the husbands' reaction to it making it better and making it worse.

I can picture a wife finding herself without sexual appetite making a decision to engage in some sort of therapy for her husband (anything from an honest conversation to hormonal treatments or counselling, etc.) and just as easily picture her slapping her husband's face when he says she has a problem.
 
  • #28
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From in impromptu survey of our older lady friends and family they say the number 1 problem is loss of sleep from hot and cold flashes. They turn really red, get hot as hades, then sweat and start to shiver. The women who used testosterone for treatment said it worked really fast and they felt better in days. Another was put on anabolic steroids and that was said it worked really well too. The ones on HRT said it worked pretty well but they had side effects they didn't like. The ones who gutted through it had problems for a couple of years before things normalized. NOT fun.These are the ones who would definitely slap hubby if he suggested they had a problem because they are well aware that they have a problem. Just don't know what to do about it. All will say though that menopause is preferable to pregnancy any day of the week.
 
  • #29
The ones who gutted through it had problems for a couple of years before things normalized. NOT fun.These are the ones who would definitely slap hubby if he suggested they had a problem because they are well aware that they have a problem. Just don't know what to do about it.

yeah, except some women don't think of it as a problem as much as nature taking its course. good luck trying to get them on a hormonal treatment.
 
  • #30
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1
And it's usually your mom and mom's are pretty near impossible to get to do anything they don't choose to do. You can't bribe them and you can't threaten them. Sons have better luck with moms than daughters though but a daughter can get her dad to do nearly anything. SIGHHH
 
  • #31
jaja that's so true sometimes.

but what I meant about hormonal treatments is that they are an option of course, for willing women, and they seem to work wonders on many of the effects of menopause. they are an option...in the "1st world". I did not grow up in it, so imagining the face on the older women who were around me at the suggestion of menopause being a "problem" and taking hormones makes me chuckle. in their opinion, you deal with it just like you deal with every other aspect of womanhood.

to each, their own. as usually
 
  • #32
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IN third world countries, to the less privileged, menopause is liberation. Also women who exercise and are outdoors a lot seem to have much less problems with the hot flashes than those in climate controlled sedentary environments.
 
  • #33
IN third world countries, to the less privileged, menopause is liberation

I can picture it being so in certain situations, but it's a streched generalization. the women and their husbands I'm refering to would describe it more like hell jaja, but at the same time just one more thing a couple has to go through.
 
  • #34
Evo
Mentor
23,552
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I'm surprised that no one has pointed out that many men are not good at sex and women get tired of faking it. Some women don't enjoy sex for a number of reasons and just decide they don't wish to keep doing something they don't like. I think younger women may be more willing to discuss this with theor husbands, but for the older generation it is less likely that this would be an easy subject to approach.

I don't believe that older women prefer their husbands to get sex elsewhere, did someone actually say that?

Also, men peak sexually at a young age, where women peak at a much older age, a lot of men lose the desire and sometimes the ability as they get older. It's very individual.
 
  • #35
246
1
True - there are always exceptions and many of them. I'm thinking of the tropical third world country I worked in. There wasn't a lot of middle class and the working poor worked really hard and even though birth control in this Catholic country was available over the counter everywhere there were many who couldn't or didn't get it or for whom it failed, so most of them were quite happy to deal with hot flashes. They did have better medical care in the big city we lived in for the poor there than we do in the US where I live. Here, my friends who have no health insurance and low income can't get help unless they are ready for intensive care in the hospital. But in the US, as I'm sure it is in third world countries, medical care is quite variable depending on where you live. Where I live they closed the only free clinic that is fairly close and the poor don't have the money to drive to the next one as it's quite far. Luckily the job market seems to be picking up so hopefully they're be able to get medical benefits on the job fairly soon.
 

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