Dismiss Notice
Join Physics Forums Today!
The friendliest, high quality science and math community on the planet! Everyone who loves science is here!

She hasn't had anyone else

  1. Jan 8, 2015 #1
    So I'm my partner's first girlfriend. She and I are basically this adorable, sappy couple who rarely get upset at each other. We've been together for about a year now, and we're as happy as can be. I have an issue though. As happy as we are I feel guilty that she's never been with anyone but me and it's turning out that we're getting pretty serious. It's hard to say why I feel this way, but I think it's because I've been in many relationships prior to this and I wish she had the chance to experience that herself. Even though, tbh, most of my relationships were trash. I love this girl more than I love my parents at this point. I just feel like if we were to get married or stay together for the rest of our lives (depending on the state :P), I'm robbing her of something. Idk, we're awesome together. And we've been in a disagreement maybe twice in the year we've been together and the half a year we've spent sleeping in the same bed. Maybe I should just roll with it and if I'm what she wants just let her have me. We are in our mid-twenties after all, and we aren't getting any younger :D
  2. jcsd
  3. Jan 8, 2015 #2


    User Avatar
    Gold Member

    I don't think you're robbing her of anything. If both of you are happy, it's all that matters.
  4. Jan 8, 2015 #3
    I concur with the last statement. As a late 20's guy without having "had anyone else" either, it wouldn't feel like I'm losing out if I was with someone I loved and got as long with as nicely as what you're describing. How would that make sense?
  5. Jan 19, 2015 #4
    You may not have the idea to describe how beautiful life is at the moment you two realize that you're both still deeply in love with each other how after many ups and downs that you've been through. Life is tricky! :D (Mr Maclaughing told me so)
  6. Jan 19, 2015 #5


    User Avatar
    Gold Member

    Just to play Devil's Advocate, I sure hope you guys figure out dispute resolution before you encounter real problems in your lives, such as money and kids.
  7. Jan 19, 2015 #6
    That's fair. We're both financially secure on our own though and we won't be adopting any time soon. But as I'm sure you'd say, that can all change in a heartbeat. We'll do our best in the meantime to stay laid back and as independent as we can be.

    Maybe I'll just buy a $10k motorcycle to test the fortitude of our relationship :D Or just get a corgi. I really want a corgi and she doesn't.

    Dumb woman....
  8. Jan 19, 2015 #7
    Or buy her a hooker and see what happens.
  9. Jan 22, 2015 #8
    Assuming she's happy with you, feeling guilty that she hasn't had "anyone else" is like feeling sorry that she's never lost at gambling. Sure, she might not have the entire thrill of winning since she's never lost, but that doesn't mean she doesn't know how to appreciate her winnings.

    Talk to her about it. See what she says. If she's not bothered by it, why should you be?
  10. Jan 22, 2015 #9


    User Avatar
    Gold Member

    Yes, what could possibly go wrong?

    "Wait. So you're saying I'd be a better person if I slept with a whole bunch of other people? Okay. I'm headed to Jamaica. Call you in a month. Maybe."

  11. Jan 22, 2015 #10
    :DD Granted, that is a possibility. But it's way better to ask that now when the emotions are intense than later when things have cooled off and she starts analyzing the relationship and her life's choices. Basically, I'm saying you need to go and figure out if you're building a relationship on a powder keg or not instead of just tiptoeing around it hoping not to get blown up.
  12. Jan 22, 2015 #11


    User Avatar
    Staff Emeritus
    Science Advisor
    Gold Member

    You sound like a very well-matched couple! I do agree that a person can gain a lot of knowledge from having many relationships. But, IMO, not having many partners shouldn't be a game-changer. If it were that important, I think it would have been an issue by now.

    I'm going to go out on thin ice here: could it be that you're afraid she will have a mid-life crisis in 15 years and regret that she didn't get to "play" when she was young?
  13. Jan 23, 2015 #12
    OMG yes! That sums it up so well. I guess there's nothing much I can do about it. I think this dread will pass with a little time. We'll see.
Share this great discussion with others via Reddit, Google+, Twitter, or Facebook