Am I robbing my partner of experiences by being their first girlfriend?

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In summary: Okay. I'm headed to Jamaica. Call you in a month. Maybe."In summary, the speaker is their partner's first girlfriend and they are as sappy and adorable as can be. They have an issue, however, because they feel guilty that their partner has never been with anyone else and it is turning into a serious issue. They feel like if they were to get married or stay together for the rest of their lives, they are robbing their partner of something. They believe that if both of them are happy, that is all that matters. They also agree with the last statement, as a late 20's guy without "having anyone else" they would not feel like they are losing out if they were with someone they
  • #1
Cake
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So I'm my partner's first girlfriend. She and I are basically this adorable, sappy couple who rarely get upset at each other. We've been together for about a year now, and we're as happy as can be. I have an issue though. As happy as we are I feel guilty that she's never been with anyone but me and it's turning out that we're getting pretty serious. It's hard to say why I feel this way, but I think it's because I've been in many relationships prior to this and I wish she had the chance to experience that herself. Even though, tbh, most of my relationships were trash. I love this girl more than I love my parents at this point. I just feel like if we were to get married or stay together for the rest of our lives (depending on the state :P), I'm robbing her of something. Idk, we're awesome together. And we've been in a disagreement maybe twice in the year we've been together and the half a year we've spent sleeping in the same bed. Maybe I should just roll with it and if I'm what she wants just let her have me. We are in our mid-twenties after all, and we aren't getting any younger :D
 
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  • #2
Cake said:
So I'm my partner's first girlfriend. She and I are basically this adorable, sappy couple who rarely get upset at each other. We've been together for about a year now, and we're as happy as can be. I have an issue though. As happy as we are I feel guilty that she's never been with anyone but me and it's turning out that we're getting pretty serious. It's hard to say why I feel this way, but I think it's because I've been in many relationships prior to this and I wish she had the chance to experience that herself. Even though, tbh, most of my relationships were trash. I love this girl more than I love my parents at this point. I just feel like if we were to get married or stay together for the rest of our lives (depending on the state :P), I'm robbing her of something. Idk, we're awesome together. And we've been in a disagreement maybe twice in the year we've been together and the half a year we've spent sleeping in the same bed. Maybe I should just roll with it and if I'm what she wants just let her have me. We are in our mid-twenties after all, and we aren't getting any younger :D

I don't think you're robbing her of anything. If both of you are happy, it's all that matters.
 
  • #3
I concur with the last statement. As a late 20's guy without having "had anyone else" either, it wouldn't feel like I'm losing out if I was with someone I loved and got as long with as nicely as what you're describing. How would that make sense?
 
  • #4
You may not have the idea to describe how beautiful life is at the moment you two realize that you're both still deeply in love with each other how after many ups and downs that you've been through. Life is tricky! :D (Mr Maclaughing told me so)
 
  • #5
Just to play Devil's Advocate, I sure hope you guys figure out dispute resolution before you encounter real problems in your lives, such as money and kids.
 
  • #6
DaveC426913 said:
Just to play Devil's Advocate, I sure hope you guys figure out dispute resolution before you encounter real problems in your lives, such as money and kids.
That's fair. We're both financially secure on our own though and we won't be adopting any time soon. But as I'm sure you'd say, that can all change in a heartbeat. We'll do our best in the meantime to stay laid back and as independent as we can be.

Maybe I'll just buy a $10k motorcycle to test the fortitude of our relationship :D Or just get a corgi. I really want a corgi and she doesn't.

Dumb woman...
 
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  • #7
Or buy her a hooker and see what happens.
 
  • #8
Assuming she's happy with you, feeling guilty that she hasn't had "anyone else" is like feeling sorry that she's never lost at gambling. Sure, she might not have the entire thrill of winning since she's never lost, but that doesn't mean she doesn't know how to appreciate her winnings.

Talk to her about it. See what she says. If she's not bothered by it, why should you be?
 
  • #9
timthereaper said:
Talk to her about it. See what she says.
Yes, what could possibly go wrong?"Wait. So you're saying I'd be a better person if I slept with a whole bunch of other people? Okay. I'm headed to Jamaica. Call you in a month. Maybe."

:D
 
  • #10
DaveC426913 said:
Yes, what could possibly go wrong?

"Wait. So you're saying I'd be a better person if I slept with a whole bunch of other people? Okay. I'm headed to Jamaica. Call you in a month. Maybe."

:D

:DD Granted, that is a possibility. But it's way better to ask that now when the emotions are intense than later when things have cooled off and she starts analyzing the relationship and her life's choices. Basically, I'm saying you need to go and figure out if you're building a relationship on a powder keg or not instead of just tiptoeing around it hoping not to get blown up.
 
  • #11
Cake said:
So I'm my partner's first girlfriend. She and I are basically this adorable, sappy couple who rarely get upset at each other. We've been together for about a year now, and we're as happy as can be. I have an issue though. As happy as we are I feel guilty that she's never been with anyone but me and it's turning out that we're getting pretty serious. It's hard to say why I feel this way, but I think it's because I've been in many relationships prior to this and I wish she had the chance to experience that herself. Even though, tbh, most of my relationships were trash. I love this girl more than I love my parents at this point. I just feel like if we were to get married or stay together for the rest of our lives (depending on the state :P), I'm robbing her of something. Idk, we're awesome together. And we've been in a disagreement maybe twice in the year we've been together and the half a year we've spent sleeping in the same bed. Maybe I should just roll with it and if I'm what she wants just let her have me. We are in our mid-twenties after all, and we aren't getting any younger :D
You sound like a very well-matched couple! I do agree that a person can gain a lot of knowledge from having many relationships. But, IMO, not having many partners shouldn't be a game-changer. If it were that important, I think it would have been an issue by now.

I'm going to go out on thin ice here: could it be that you're afraid she will have a mid-life crisis in 15 years and regret that she didn't get to "play" when she was young?
 
  • #12
lisab said:
You sound like a very well-matched couple! I do agree that a person can gain a lot of knowledge from having many relationships. But, IMO, not having many partners shouldn't be a game-changer. If it were that important, I think it would have been an issue by now.

I'm going to go out on thin ice here: could it be that you're afraid she will have a mid-life crisis in 15 years and regret that she didn't get to "play" when she was young?
OMG yes! That sums it up so well. I guess there's nothing much I can do about it. I think this dread will pass with a little time. We'll see.
 

What does "she hasn't had anyone else" mean?

It means that the woman in question has not been in a romantic or sexual relationship with anyone else besides the person being referred to.

Why would someone ask if she hasn't had anyone else?

This question could be asked for a variety of reasons, such as curiosity, suspicion, or concern. It may also be asked in a judgmental manner to imply that the woman should have had other partners by now.

How can you know for sure that she hasn't had anyone else?

The only way to know for sure is to ask the woman directly or to have concrete evidence, such as a statement from the woman or from someone who knows her well.

Is it important to know if she hasn't had anyone else?

This depends on the context and the relationship between the person asking and the woman in question. In some cases, it may be irrelevant or invasive to ask about someone's sexual history. However, in other situations, it may be important for establishing trust and understanding the boundaries of a relationship.

Could she have had other experiences besides romantic or sexual relationships?

Yes, the phrase "she hasn't had anyone else" specifically refers to romantic or sexual relationships, so it is possible that the woman has had other experiences such as friendships, professional relationships, or hobbies.

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