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Single guys only

  1. Apr 11, 2003 #1


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    Just to make you guys aware:

    The silky-soft, curvy, hot, fun-loving, daring young lady you date transforms into a wife 27 hours and 15 minutes after the wedding.

    My advice:

    Date the mother for 1 month before deciding to wed the daughter. Don’t worry about the father; he’ll think it’s great.

  2. jcsd
  3. Apr 11, 2003 #2
    Didn't you watch 'The Graduate'?

    Everyone knows that such a scheme results in nothing but vague alienation, the use of public transport, and plenty of Simon and Garfunkle.
  4. Apr 11, 2003 #3
    ^^^ lol, dj

    Better solution: don't get married. Fear commitment. ;)
  5. Apr 11, 2003 #4
    Or...get married, then, on your honeymoon, drive around with your beloved, robbing banks, convenience stores, bars, pedestrians, etc. all to a *****in' rock and slamming techno soundtrack.

    Then, go on the run for a couple of years. Eventually you should get caught, savour a brief recollection of your loved one and then, with a sardonic smile and a cello playing in the background, hang yourself in your cell.

    The advantages are obvious:

    a) continuous excitement
    b) brief wealth
    c) lots of 'quality time' together
    d) enjoying the kind of spice that only crime can add to a marriage
    e) a kick arse soundtrack.
    f) hurting people you don't like...with sticks!

    That's my plan. Any takers?
  6. Apr 12, 2003 #5


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    Hey Dj Sneaky Whiskers I agree with all of that !
    But what's with the chello ?!
    A heavy metal guitar better suits the moment ! :wink:
  7. Apr 12, 2003 #6
    Heavy Metal for the pathos laden suicide of a social misfit? Can't say I approve of that. For a start, the wardens would frown. Although I reckon the guitar would work for racing over the border to another, sunny, non-extraditing country would work.
  8. Apr 12, 2003 #7
    Don't forget the to consume large amounts of LSD, get bitten by a rattlesnake, and get arrested after robbing a grocery store for antivenin. Then you can start a prison riot to break your loved one out: the best bonding experience ever.
  9. Apr 13, 2003 #8
    ah but within the prsion scheme lies a problem. Your loved one will have already been beeatched by Martha the Knukles McGulicutty which will result in your belvoed losing intrest in you and spark a whirl wind romance with martha
  10. Apr 16, 2003 #9
    I don't care, by then my long dead carcass will be swaying from the lampshade in a vaguely symbolic, pendulum like way. As such, it would be cruel of me to expect my beloved not to persue a new life with Martha.
  11. Apr 16, 2003 #10
    Martha's MY b**ch and don't you forget it
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