So frustrated with myself

  • Thread starter WarPhalange
  • Start date
In summary, the conversation is about the individual's difficulty with prioritizing and focusing on one task at a time. They tend to have multiple thoughts and tasks competing for their attention, leading to inefficiency and a feeling of not getting anything done. Suggestions are made to make a list and prioritize tasks, and to set specific goals for each task. The individual also discusses their previous ability to use their scattered thoughts to their advantage, but now struggles to focus and get things done efficiently.
  • #1
WarPhalange
I don't remember when exactly I started being like this, but I do remember a time where I was different.

My problem is that I have a bunch of things I want to do and can't figure out what order to do them in or when, then literally have a brain fart and just not do anything.

Example: Last night. I decided I want to build a distortion pedal for my guitar after seeing some schematics and realizing it's easy and won't be too expensive. So naturally I want to start ordering parts. Then I realize I had forgotten a lot, so I busted out my electronics book. Then I realized I need to start studying for the GRE's, so I did a Google search for old tests, then I realized what's the point of having an effects pedal if I'm not playing? So I decided to start playing.

So I ended up spending my evening working over one chapter in my electronics textbook while constantly having other things on my mind and really not accomplishing much.

Stuff like this happens to me every day. Today I planned to play guitar, take a practice GRE, read up some more on electronics, and work out.

My time is spent just processing what I should do and when, and when I do decide to do something everything else is constantly on my mind.

While playing guitar: "Oh, I should be studying for the GRE. It's more important."
While studying: "Oh I know what song I want to learn next! How does it go...?"

Etc.

Anybody have or had a similar problem? How do I overcome this? It really eats up my days without me getting anywhere.
 
Physics news on Phys.org
  • #2
My main problem with procrastinating is that I just keep putting it off...:rolleyes:
 
  • #3
It's not procrastination with me, it's that I want to do everything at once and as soon as I decide on something all the other things start flooding my mind. I can't concentrate on a single activity unless there are circumstances beyond my control, i.e. on a test I can't start playing guitar so it's pointless to think about it. While taking my guitar lesson I can't take out my physics books, so thinking about homework is pointless.
 
  • #4
Make a list and do just one thing at a time in the order they are written until they are all crossed off.

Oh, yeah. And slap yourself really hard in the face with a frozen fish when you catch your mind drifting off topic. :biggrin:
 
  • #5
Make some goals for each activity. I have this problem too. I have my thesis to write, and it draws from a variety of topics in nanotechnology, optics, signal processing, etc. I started a notebook where I write some goals for the day and try to mark them off like a checklist. It's not just a goal like "read optics book," it's something specific and doable, like "figure out placement for photodiode."
 
  • #6
Yeah, that's another thing. I'm doing some code for independent research. And it's like "Okay, this part will have X,Y, and Z methods, oh oh, I'll write Z method now... it will need A,B,C methods in it... oh oh I'll write B method now" and keep jumping back and forth. Really inefficient.

I'll try the making a list. I can't see it working because it's so easy to ignore (sorry, no fish in the freezer), but I guess it's worth a shot.
 
  • #7
Tsu said:
Make a list and do just one thing at a time in the order they are written until they are all crossed off.

This is very good advice. My attention problems are very similar to yours, and lists are how I get things done. Things have to be divided up into "might do"s and "must do"s, and you don't get to do your "might do"s until the "must do"s are done. You'll be surprised at how fast you can crank through a list of "must do"s after you've written it out.
 
  • #8
One other thing I should mention is that things on the "must do" list don't have to be completable in one sitting. You can simply decide to carve out two hours from your day to work on the task and do nothing else, and do this for as many days as necessary. I sometimes put a "do not disturb" sign on the door or go away to somewhere quiet with a laptop when I need to concentrate.
 
  • #9
I have the opposite problem. I get into doing something and completely forget about anything else I ought to be doing. Like right now I'm at work and there are probably things I should be doing. Time to go...
 
  • #10
See, I used to be like that. I could do homework or study for hours. Work on a personal project for hours, and I'd actually always find time to get everything done. It's these last few years that have really screwed up for me. I don't know why. If I knew why, I could fix it maybe...
 
  • #11
Do you sometimes have completely separate thoughts overlapping each other in your head? That is, do you notice that you are concurrently thinking about two or three completely different topics; or will one line of thinking leap into multiple, overlapping tangential thoughts?
 
  • #12
They overlap each other. I'm in the middle of a homework problem and I start thinking about something completely different, like having to stop by Walmart tomorrow to buy pants. Should I buy short pants since it's summer? But it's not that hot, so will they get much use? Since I'll be out, I need to stop at Radioshack for XYZ connector I need... do they even sell those? Let me check. Oh, right, homework. Stuff like that.

I used to be able to use it to my advantage. Somehow I'd get homework done really quick because I'd be able to keep a few things in my mind at once. My power to concentrate has just dwindled.
 
  • #13
Here's what I do. I make mistakes and I record them on google notes and make recommendations. It works - a little :). I have been doing this for more than a year.

e.g. My current term errors:
Yesterday
FAILED TO DO GOOD JOB ON ASSIGNMENT 3

I lost 2 marks for it. I think they could have been avoided. I went very hastily through the assignment

INSTABILITY

I think I cannot make c...
 
  • #14
I went through it the other way. I got this masterlist of things I'd like myself to be. I am getting more discipline in one area, then two, then three etc.

Half a year ago, I was rather fat. I thought that it sucked, everything was harder and somewhat crappy then when I were training track in my high school-years. So, I started to eat almost spartan food and going from strength exercises (which doesn't burn excess weight) to running (one of my passions in life, I love it). First I started to run 3 miles and have for a couple of months ago gone up to 5 miles with rough terrain.

My weight plunged from 221 pounds to 188 pounds in six months. That was discipline in one area of my life. I have transferred it to school/work-related topics and is in the process of transferring it to other areas.

In my opinion it's a matter of discipline, first you get control of your body, then your mind. Besides, nothing beats running for 40 minutes thinking about some aspect of physics/math and in the end of the run you feel that you grasped what it was all about. :)
 
  • #15
WarPhalange said:
My time is spent just processing what I should do and when, and when I do decide to do something everything else is constantly on my mind.

So you're sort of like windows vista then?

On the serious side of things:
I think you might be bored, hence the lack of concentration. Sort of a complacency that sneaks in on you when you feel you have control. Find something new, fresh and exciting to spark that interest-driven concentration.
 
  • #16
Fearless said:
I went through it the other way. I got this masterlist of things I'd like myself to be. I am getting more discipline in one area, then two, then three etc.

Half a year ago, I was rather fat. I thought that it sucked, everything was harder and somewhat crappy then when I were training track in my high school-years. So, I started to eat almost spartan food and going from strength exercises (which doesn't burn excess weight)

Actually they do. By weight lifting properly your body needs to rebuild itself over night, burning some fat in the process, and when you get the extra muscle, they also need more calories to be maintained.

*-<|:-D=<-< said:
So you're sort of like windows vista then?

On the serious side of things:
I think you might be bored, hence the lack of concentration. Sort of a complacency that sneaks in on you when you feel you have control. Find something new, fresh and exciting to spark that interest-driven concentration.

Yeah, I used to do martial arts. But what happened is I had to stop because of going to college, and I just don't have the time for it. I tried making some time and found that the school I went to moved. Where I live it's basically a black hole for martial arts. There is absolutely NOTHING good in my area. I've been looking for the past 2 years now. I can honestly say that my happiness with life has dramatically gone down since I stopped doing martial arts, but there is nothing I can do about it.

Oh, and I did make a list last night of things I need to do. Then it all went to hell. First, I had this horrible back pain (it started before I stared making the list) that progressed into the night. It's like when you need to crack your back or neck, but just can't for some reason and it's annoying. It went from annoying to so-painful-I-can't-sleep so I got 2.5 hours of sleep less than I had hoped. No biggy, I can move on. Then something else came up the second I checked my email. I was planning to do research for the summer it was finally OK'ed by my prof, so I'm getting everything ready to fly out. Soo... I'll have to try again tomorrow.
 
  • #17
Cyrus said:
My main problem with procrastinating is that I just keep putting it off...:rolleyes:
Remember though - "tomorrow belongs to the procrastinators"
 
  • #18
Warphalange: potatoe or potato. It's the question. Running is more effecient, like I was saying "BURN" away the fat. Not just get away some grams of fat, I meant kg.

Are you feeling Like everything is slipping out of control and you need to get your act together? Discipline is your best friend, on the road to getting stuff done. Good hard german discipline.
 
  • #19
Have you been checked for an Attention Deficit Disorder?
 
  • #20
WarPhalange,
You are describing numerous symptoms I have experienced. My loss of focus/concentration eventually caused me to lose my job. I ended up in a very deep, long lasting, clinical depression. I'm not trying to diagnose you, I'm just relating my experience.

I tried all the requisite tricks -- lists, breaking projects into small tasks, etc. None of it helped in any significant, or long lasting way.

Even if you don't think you need it, please start looking for a therapist. It can be very difficult to find one you are comfortable talking with. For me, therapy was/is very helpful, but it is a slow process. I tried four different people before finding one that "clicked" with me.

In addition to therapy, I spent several months with a psychiatrist trying different dosages and combinations of drugs. The effects can be slow to recognize. Some did nothing for me, others had minor side-effects (most common was drowsiness).

There are lots of scary stories floating around about psychiatric medications. I researched everything I could, and talked to my doctor about them. I also informed my family when I started or changed a medication, so they could watch for any problems. Nothing bad ever happened. Nothing.

One big hurdle for me was trying to follow the logic in my illness. You get the flu, the doctor gives you a pill and you get better! If you break an arm, they put a cast on it for a few weeks! But this... this works on your emotions. There are no "concentration pills", and anti-depressants are no panacea. The medicine helps alleviate some symptoms, but it really requires the combination of treatments.
 
  • #21
There are a number of members here with ADD and ADHD that have benefited greatly from medication.
 
  • #22
When I was in college, it seemed like a lot of people were that way. Jumping around, doing this or that, and then something else. I think its the time for trying to figure out what you really want to do, and like doing (and it may partially be normal hormones and the changing hormones running through the system of people in that age range).

And then, with all the talk about jobs, 'recession', high costs of this and that, oil, etc. doesn't help adding to some anxiety either.
 
Last edited:
  • #23
Where do you go to get "tested" for ADHD. I actually called my University once (before I was a student there) to see if I could get tested for dyslexia (as if you have it there are certain protections granted under the Americans with Disabilities Act, or something of the sort related to education, which could mean extra time on tests). However, I ended up forgetting where I called and when I went to look for where to go about six months ago I couldn't figure it out on my University's web page.

I'm not ever sure I'd want to get tested there, anyway. Can you go to any psychologist? Does it cost a lot?

I also figure if I do have it, I might as well just give up anyways because I'm not sure how you could succeed in my field by having it, and by trying to convince myself I don't have it I assume I would be curbing the symptoms.

I pretty much have same problems the OP described, only worse. It's definitely started to affect my school career, to the point where I might just have to give up.
 
  • #24
OrbitalPower said:
Where do you go to get "tested" for ADHD. I actually called my University once (before I was a student there) to see if I could get tested for dyslexia (as if you have it there are certain protections granted under the Americans with Disabilities Act, or something of the sort related to education, which could mean extra time on tests). However, I ended up forgetting where I called and when I went to look for where to go about six months ago I couldn't figure it out on my University's web page.

I'm not ever sure I'd want to get tested there, anyway. Can you go to any psychologist? Does it cost a lot?

I also figure if I do have it, I might as well just give up anyways because I'm not sure how you could succeed in my field by having it, and by trying to convince myself I don't have it I assume I would be curbing the symptoms.

I pretty much have same problems the OP described, only worse. It's definitely started to affect my school career, to the point where I might just have to give up.
A lot of scientists/engineers/doctors etc... have it.

Do you have a regular doctor that you see? If you do, I would start with them.

I would try through your University, call the main switchboard if you cannot find anything. There are community mental health listings in the phone book in the blue government pages, at least that's what they used to be back when I used to have a phone book. Yes, I used to read phone books, I read anything that doesn't move.
 
  • #25
Evo said:
There are a number of members here with ADD and ADHD that have benefited greatly from medication.

I'm glad you brought that up, at age 63 I found out about ADD, was tested and it was determined that I was also OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).
It's more than just self discipline, (I once panned for gold in the Llano river, non stop for 10 hours, in an area not much bigger than 30X30 feet. I brought home about 4 gallons of black sand for further processing, which has not happened almost 3 years later:rofl::confused:)

I responded to meds, but only in the last 6 months, after increasing dosage have I started to really increase productivity of my early retired life.

Wish I had known to look into this much earlier in my life.:frown:

By all means think about this WarPhalange

Ron
 
  • #26
OrbitalPower said:
Where do you go to get "tested" for ADHD. I actually called my University once (before I was a student there) to see if I could get tested for dyslexia (as if you have it there are certain protections granted under the Americans with Disabilities Act, or something of the sort related to education, which could mean extra time on tests). However, I ended up forgetting where I called and when I went to look for where to go about six months ago I couldn't figure it out on my University's web page.

I'm not ever sure I'd want to get tested there, anyway. Can you go to any psychologist? Does it cost a lot?

I also figure if I do have it, I might as well just give up anyways because I'm not sure how you could succeed in my field by having it, and by trying to convince myself I don't have it I assume I would be curbing the symptoms.

I pretty much have same problems the OP described, only worse. It's definitely started to affect my school career, to the point where I might just have to give up.

In many cases work insurance (even through a spouse) will cover some, or most of the expense.
 
  • #27
RonL said:
I'm glad you brought that up, at age 63 I found out about ADD, was tested and it was determined that I was also OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder).
It's more than just self discipline, (I once panned for gold in the Llano river, non stop for 10 hours, in an area not much bigger than 30X30 feet. I brought home about 4 gallons of black sand for further processing, which has not happened almost 3 years later:rofl::confused:)

I responded to meds, but only in the last 6 months, after increasing dosage have I started to really increase productivity of my early retired life.

Wish I had known to look into this much earlier in my life.:frown:

By all means think about this WarPhalange

Ron

I definitely know I have some symptoms of OCD. I cling to routines and hate spontaneity. I don't have many friends for that reason. They want to do something, but it doesn't fit into my routine and I can't break from it.

Seeing a therapist might not be a bad idea... Honestly, I've even lately considered going to the military after I get my bachelor's if it doesn't get better. I need something to give me the discipline I need.
 
  • #28
WarPhalange said:
I definitely know I have some symptoms of OCD. I cling to routines and hate spontaneity. I don't have many friends for that reason. They want to do something, but it doesn't fit into my routine and I can't break from it.

Seeing a therapist might not be a bad idea... Honestly, I've even lately considered going to the military after I get my bachelor's if it doesn't get better. I need something to give me the discipline I need.

I think that's a good idea, because when I read your post I said...."thats not normal"...
 
  • #29
My experience is also similar: I had always had overlapping, racing thoughts (still do). This can be to your advantage because you are likely to be the one to come up with more original thoughts that way (to think f the thing no one else thought of). But as was mentioned, these are also symptoms of clinical depression.

I did one year of psychiatric therapy with anti-depressants, and that was 20 years ago. Since then, natural endorphins have had the same therapeutic effect as the expensive drugs. So now I'm hooked on running, biking, and climbing. I've met all my friends thanks to these activities, my wife also.

Choose your own activity, of course, but I think that the human body needs to have the heart working hard for at least an hour each day.
 
  • #30
WarPhalange said:
I definitely know I have some symptoms of OCD. I cling to routines and hate spontaneity. I don't have many friends for that reason. They want to do something, but it doesn't fit into my routine and I can't break from it.

Seeing a therapist might not be a bad idea... Honestly, I've even lately considered going to the military after I get my bachelor's if it doesn't get better. I need something to give me the discipline I need.

The source of discipline will always be yourself. It may be inspired by the environment, but that is all.

I'm in your boat usually. Whenever I can't focus, I usually just say screw it, and keep on going. Think more in priorities. Once you're focused, you can redo whatever you may not have paid attention to. Also, studying is something, at least in my experience, that requires a sort of motivational basis.
 
  • #31
  • #32
I was going to make a Fuzz Face like this:

http://www.smallbearelec.com/Projects/BearFace/BearFace.htm

Which is based off of this design:

http://www.geofex.com/Article_Folders/fuzzface/fffram.htm

And it is simple enough, just that I don't remember what all those things do anymore when they are hooked up like that. Like, I remember what an op amp is and how a transistor works, but I want to know exactly what is going on in the schematic, so what the op amp is doing to the signal, what's the point of having Capacitor B at point X, etc.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
  • #33
WarPhalange said:
I don't remember when exactly I started being like this, but I do remember a time where I was different.

My problem is that I have a bunch of things I want to do and can't figure out what order to do them in or when, then literally have a brain fart and just not do anything.

Example: Last night. I decided I want to build a distortion pedal for my guitar after seeing some schematics and realizing it's easy and won't be too expensive. So naturally I want to start ordering parts. Then I realize I had forgotten a lot, so I busted out my electronics book. Then I realized I need to start studying for the GRE's, so I did a Google search for old tests, then I realized what's the point of having an effects pedal if I'm not playing? So I decided to start playing.

So I ended up spending my evening working over one chapter in my electronics textbook while constantly having other things on my mind and really not accomplishing much.

Stuff like this happens to me every day. Today I planned to play guitar, take a practice GRE, read up some more on electronics, and work out.

My time is spent just processing what I should do and when, and when I do decide to do something everything else is constantly on my mind.

While playing guitar: "Oh, I should be studying for the GRE. It's more important."
While studying: "Oh I know what song I want to learn next! How does it go...?"

Etc.

Anybody have or had a similar problem? How do I overcome this? It really eats up my days without me getting anywhere.

sounds just like me. maybe we both have adhd? i suspect that i may have adhd also because i have a very hard time concentrating on reading and often daydream. for instance, in an hour, I'm usually only able to read a few pages from a fairly easy book
 

What causes frustration with oneself?

Frustration with oneself can be caused by a variety of factors, such as unmet expectations, self-doubt, perfectionism, lack of progress or success, and high levels of stress or pressure.

How can I deal with frustration with myself?

It is important to identify the root cause of your frustration and address it directly. This can include setting realistic goals, practicing self-compassion and forgiveness, seeking support from others, and finding healthy ways to cope with stress.

Is frustration with oneself a normal emotion?

Yes, frustration with oneself is a common and normal emotion. It is a natural response to challenges and setbacks, and can even be a motivating factor to improve and grow.

Can frustration with oneself be harmful?

While frustration with oneself can be a normal emotion, it can become harmful if it becomes overwhelming and affects your mental and emotional well-being. It is important to address and manage frustration in a healthy way to prevent it from becoming harmful.

When should I seek professional help for frustration with myself?

If feelings of frustration with oneself are persistent, intense, and significantly impacting your daily life, it may be beneficial to seek professional help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide support and guidance in managing these emotions and developing healthy coping strategies.

Similar threads

Replies
29
Views
2K
  • General Discussion
Replies
14
Views
1K
Replies
17
Views
889
Replies
14
Views
1K
Replies
4
Views
902
Replies
15
Views
1K
Replies
5
Views
665
  • General Discussion
Replies
29
Views
2K
Replies
13
Views
727
  • General Discussion
Replies
4
Views
605
Back
Top