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So, got a number and email, but

  1. Dec 4, 2011 #1
    So I went to a bar with some friends, and it was completely packed. We decided to ask some people at a table if we could share it with them so we could sit (I'm living in Germany, and I guess people do this all the time, not like in the US where I'm from). So they of course let us sit down. And we are there not more than 1 min when I make eye contact with this gorgeous girl at our table. I didn't think much of it, but in the course of the next 20 min, I notice we make a lot of eye contact. Well, after a while, this girl ask me and my friends if we are american because she heard us speaking english (I was the only american, my friends are italian) and after a while we are all talking. Then they (the group of people we share the table with) say they are going to go dancing, and if we want to go. I said yes, it sounds like fun, and try to convince my italian friends to come along. They didn't seem to keen on the idea, but said they would call me if they end up coming.

    So I leave them and go with this group of germans that includes this girl. And we end up talking all night almost as if the other people aren't there (I try to make some conversation with the others, because I don't want to be rude). So, after a while I get the impression she is definitely interested in me. Eventually we make it to the dance club, and we all end up dancing together for a few hours.

    Afterwards, its getting pretty late, and they say they are going home. I say that i should get home as well. So we get outside, and I am about to leave and she asks if I am on facebook, and I tell her I don't have a facebook (probably the only time in my life when I regretted not having one). She is surprised (who wouldn't be, I guess I'm the only person my age without one). So instead she says we should exchange numbers and emails. She calls my number so that I would have it stored, and then proceeds to take my phone and put her email in there so I can email her sometime. Now, normally I would just call in a few days or email her, or I would have walked her home that night and made a move, but the one problem is that she was just visiting a friend in town (so I couldn't walk her and her friend home to her friends place and expect to be invited in), and she really lives in another town 200km away.

    My question is now this, should I email her in a few days, tell her I had a great time, and hope we can see each other again sometime? Or should I just forget about it (she lives not so close, but I could imagine having to be in her area in not too long for work, as well as her coming back to my city for visiting friends)? I feel like calling is out of the question because what would I say "Do you wanna take the train for 200km and get some lunch/dinner/other date activity?". It seems like it was just a one night thing, and maybe fate decided otherwise for us. But at the same time, I feel like we had a real connection and why would she give me her number and email (I didn't ask for it) and tell me to email her if she wasn't serious? What should I do?
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2011
  2. jcsd
  3. Dec 4, 2011 #2
    Re: So, got a number end email, but...

    Take the contents of your post, rephrase it a little here and there, and email it to her.
     
  4. Dec 4, 2011 #3

    Astronuc

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    Re: So, got a number end email, but...

    Maybe establish a Facebook account, and/or text, call or email her and ask her when you will see her again.
     
  5. Dec 4, 2011 #4

    Evo

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    Re: So, got a number end email, but...

    At the very least send her a text message telling her how much you enjoyed meeting her, better yet call her. A good start into conversation would be to ask her more about where she lives, etc... (unless you already covered her life in great detail). It sounds like fate put you two together, now it's up to you keep up the momentum.
     
  6. Dec 4, 2011 #5
    So calling her would be the best thing to do? Not an email? Even if she lives so far and I don't know when i will see her again? I also worry that I have such a crappy phone, that if I called we would have a horrible connection and it would just be like "I really want to see you again", "WHAT? What did you say?", "I said, I REALLY WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN", "I am sorry, I can't hear you" and then the conversation would just be a disaster. But maybe its more personal anyway?
     
  7. Dec 4, 2011 #6

    Evo

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    E-mail then. :smile:
     
  8. Dec 4, 2011 #7
    ARRGG. First I thought an email would be the best way. Then I got convinced a phone call would be better, but may turn out disastrous. Now the email sounds kind of lame because its not as personal, but now I am being told to email! I don't know what to do anymore. I should just get a better phone, and then call... I don't know anymore! Are emails lame, Evo?
     
    Last edited: Dec 4, 2011
  9. Dec 4, 2011 #8

    micromass

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    No, e-mails aren't lame. They can be sweet and personal.
     
  10. Dec 4, 2011 #9
    Re: So, got a number end email, but...

    I second this.
     
  11. Dec 4, 2011 #10
    No, just explain your phone sucks and it's easier to e-mail, but don't make a big deal about it. Just say you had a lot of fun and would like to go out with her again - if she feels even remotely the same way she'll probably respond positively.
     
  12. Dec 4, 2011 #11

    Astronuc

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    Emails are the 21st century version of letters. Thoughtful emails go a long way.

    The shortest message I ever received was, "I love you."
     
  13. Dec 4, 2011 #12

    lisab

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    It's entirely dependent on the email. Write something short...like micromass said, an email can be sweet. For example, tell her what it was about her that you liked the first time you saw her. Or tell her something she said has been echoing in your mind ever since you met.
     
  14. Dec 5, 2011 #13
    Ok, well even if an email is not lame, I am thinking I should just call her (can use my office phone so the connection will be good). If I saw her Saturday night, would today (monday) be to early to call, should I wait until tomorrow? I just got out of a 6 year relationship a few months ago, so I kind of forgot how to ask girls out.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2011
  15. Dec 5, 2011 #14

    Astronuc

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    If one enjoyed her company, tell her so, and ask her out again.

    Üben Sie Ihr Deutsch!
     
  16. Dec 5, 2011 #15

    turbo

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    Call her or E-mail her!! She has left both of those doors open! Be polite, respectful, and open to further contact. If you're attracted, don't let a case of "cold feet" stall what might become a nice relationship. IMO, males' "fear of failure" kills most of their best chances at happiness.

    Lest you think that this is a contemporary problem, please understand that I was in HS over 40 years ago, and it was a problem before lots of people in my area even had 'phones. Luckily, I had a couple of older girls (former babysitters) that were all over me whenever a new song came up at a dance, and for some reason younger girls would ask me to dance with them too. I was spared some of the "danger" of asking. Getting grabbed by a hand and hauled onto the dance-floor is a real ice-breaker.
     
  17. Dec 5, 2011 #16
    Ok, so I tried to call from my office phone, and I didn't know what to press to dial out of the building. I tried every combination, pressing 0 first, 99 first, # and * first, and a few other combinations, each with some stupid university message about not dialing the number correctly (my german is pretty bad, so I didn't know what it actually said). I was pretty frustrated since I actually built up the nerve to call, and I couldn't!

    Well, I decided to just send an email telling her how I can't stop thinking of how much I enjoyed being with her on Saturday and how I want to get to know her better. And then I just asked when I could see her again. Kept it short and to the point. Now I just have to wait... I really wish I would have called and I would know by now if I would see her again! There is too much suspense waiting for an email. I hope it works...
     
  18. Dec 5, 2011 #17
    Nice. As a starcrafter would say, WP.

    EDIT: 200 km aint that far.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2011
  19. Dec 6, 2011 #18
    Ok, well no response. I guess I should have called. Better luck next time... Or I am probably just getting impatient for having to wait a reasonable amount of time. Anyway, better to keep expectations low.

    Like Homer Simpson once said "You tried your best, and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." (don't really believe this, just makes me smile thinking of Simpson's quotes)
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2011
  20. Dec 6, 2011 #19
    I agree that it's better to keep expectations low. I don't think you've given it enough time though.
     
  21. Dec 6, 2011 #20
    Hope it works for you man, though in general, going nuts about how great someone is and how much you liked them after only spending a short amount of time with them comes off poorly.

    You seem desperate, she begins to think she's above you. Don't wanna put her above you.

    You're getting back in touch, you obviously want to see her again, that's enough.

    If she doesn't get back in touch via email, give it a day or two then call her. Be more casual, she obviously dug you at first, so you can play it cool. Talk about some random BS for a minute or two, tell her what you've been doing, something interesting, then ask her to have drinks/go dancing.
     
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