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So, now what?

  1. Oct 13, 2011 #1
    It's been a while since I've met a girl I'm actually very attracted to and feel some kind of connection with, on a personal level. This is largely due to me not being out much and even more due to me not making the effort to try connecting at some level with the person in question. Why? At some point, I noticed that I found "running the race" to be much more fun than going through the finish line.

    Now, if we're dealing with video games or an actual race, it'd be okay but with people instead of that in the equation, things get a little complicated. And, in the past, when I have reached that point where all I gotta do is walk the next step and I'm in (if you get my jist...), I turned my back and walked away. There's this voice in my head which goes "Okay, cool story bro. Now what?". The thought of going on more dates, talking about random things, listening to her whine about her gossip girl-like garbage, hold her hand and what not makes me cringe. In my experience, once the phase where both parties are trying to "win each other" comes to an end, the whole spark is lost and what used to be fun just ends up being tiring.

    There's also another thing I've noticed: if the girl makes it too easy, I'll get bored quicker. If she's way hard to get, suddenly, I'm more interested. What does this say? Does this mean I'm just not into the person as much as I'm into the "thrill" of that "winning her" phase? With all of the above in mind, I decided it would best if I just left things as they were and focused on other things, while I try to figure this out on the side. Maybe this will change as I grow older. On that note, getting insight from you guys, who happen to be older than I am, is one of the reasons I made the the thread. I could do with some perspective on this, I think.

    Cheers
     
  2. jcsd
  3. Oct 13, 2011 #2
    Time to go to the next level, another girl? :devil:

    P.S. I am not old.
     
  4. Oct 14, 2011 #3
    You think too much.
     
  5. Oct 14, 2011 #4
    Okay, maybe not! But still, it's a new perspective to this er, thing...

    Maybe. It's how I am though. I like thinking. It's what I do...
     
  6. Oct 14, 2011 #5

    DaveC426913

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    Gold Member

    This sounds like an ego thing. You are interested in the chase because it's a challenge and you are a competitive type. But the catching requires you to start thinking about someone's else's feelings rather that your own. Which you may not be ready to do.

    OK, so you're not ready to share yourself with another person yet. You're young. There's time. And a time will come when you don't always feel the need to prove yourself.
     
  7. Oct 14, 2011 #6
    well if you really want something, becareful, you might turn into her gay friend
     
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